Single men in the swingers lifestyle

Single men often wonder why it is so hard for them to get into the swinging scene. This may help to understand why... 95% of swingers are couples. Most of them married. They are  usually secure people not looking for any emotional attachment. Just fun recreational sex as an enhancement to an already healthy primary relationship. For most of them friendship is very important. They are very selective about who they chose to be with or even meet. A high percentage of female swingers are bisexual. Fewer men are openly bisexual but that is gradually changing. Couples generally seek other couples. Couples with a bi female often seek another couple with a bi female, or a single female. This benefits both the man & the woman. Therefore, fewer couples seek to add a second male unless it's something the woman wants or they are seeking a bi male. As far as married men playing discreetly without the wife, very, very few couples will accept that. Cheating is something that is very contrary to the concept of swinging.

Probably you already know that, not to many couples looking for single men, and in fact not to many club let single men in to their dances. (Click here to check out our swingers club links collection).  But some couple seek extra men. Some couples interest in three or more some, gang bang or the husband just like to watch his wife in sexual act and maybe he'll later participate in too. So do you want to be part of their life? It wont be easy but the next few sentence may give some basic idea.

Probably you already heard that, "Looking for couples and select single men". Select means that you must be clean, polite, well dressed and well mannered. If you’re not all of these things this is not for you.

Some women loves double penetration! They need horny men!

Remember most of the swingers club are members only club. Of course most of the club let guests in. If you are a single male the easiest way to get in with a member couple. You have to understand that discretion and privacy very important for every swingers. You really have to behave, your character is under continual scrutiny... That means that just because you are in the club today, does not mean that you can be in tomorrow too. If you misbehave, act badly or disruptive then your will be ask to leave immediately and you will be permanently bared from ever returning to that club again. 

Club members know each other. This also means that if you insult or offend one couple, word will spread very quickly to the other members. By the same token if you are pleasant to a couple and they enjoy your company, they will be eager to introduce you to other couples and ladies so that they can enjoy your company too. Just like close friends love to recommend a good movie or a good restaurant to their friends... Swingers like to recommend people with to their friends!

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You can have a great time if you leave your punk attitude at the door (if you have). Be yourself, be real and socialize, ask a lady to dance and have fun. Maybe even ask her husband for permission to ask his wife to dance. Talk to her husband and be friends with him too, remember, if he doesn’t like you then you’re not getting anywhere with her. Take your time and don’t be in a hurry.

One important thing to understand about couples (and women) who are in this lifestyle, is that every couple plays for this a reason. It is their own personal enjoyment, not yours. Some are interested only in other couples, some only in women, some do nothing, they just like the atmosphere, and some are interested in playing with single men, (this is where you might come in).

All couples have a set of rules by which they play, and vary little from those rules. Don’t try to change them, it won’t work and you will appear pushy.

Be a gentleman & a classy guy. Just because a woman likes sex, doesn’t mean she appreciates vulgar language or suggestive remarks. Good manners and social skills are more important here than anywhere else.

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Dress nice, like you’re going on a date. You want to pick up a women and for extra you need for this her husband approval too! 

When you know you will be having an intimate encounter with your mate, you take extra special care in your daily hygiene routine, right? Well multiply that ten times for this lifestyle. Before you go to the club you should spend extra time brushing & flossing your teeth, showering, doing your hair and pubic hair, putting on your best cologne. Get extra cleaned up and dress to impress. Leave your torn or baggy jeans or shorts and T-shirt, and baseball cap at home, you’re not going to the stadium to watching baseball game, so don’t dress like it.

Don’t assume that just because you talk or dance with someone that they want to have sex with you. And, don’t get too aggressive on the dance floor or at the bar, unless you get the clear message that it’s all right. If you get that message, go with it, just don’t overdo it. You can even ask her, Is this okay?

Leave the creative pickup lines at home. Swinger ladies are adults and are not into head-games. They have heard every line in the book and it wont work. The best opening words in the world that work 99% of the time a "Hello, this is my first time here and I noticed you and wanted to introduce myself to you, My name is Leo". Introduce yourself to both the husband and his wife. Never wait until he goes to get a drink and sneak up to meet her without him present, or wait to ambush her as she heads to the ladies room.

If you want a 100% sure thing then go to a whorehouse or call an escort. Most of the swinger ladies are wives and girlfriends and above all, they are ladies, not escorts. Treat them like ladies.

Don’t try to sell yourselves  with the famous lie: My wife wanted me to come here first by myself to check it out, so I’ll come back with her the next time and we can all play together after you and I play now. No wife in the world that is just beginning to explore this lifestyle, would send her husband to a swing club without her.

Don’t talk about your wife or girlfriend, and how great she is or how beautiful she is - if she was, you wouldn’t be here alone and she’d be with you. - and don’t tell a lady how hot that woman across the room is. If that’s what you think, tell it to the lady across the room.

Don’t ignore the husband. No matter how much his wife likes you, if the husband doesn’t like you, you’re not getting anywhere with her. This doesn’t mean you need to spend all night talking with him, but introduce yourself and be cordial and play it by ear.

Don’t be shy and withdrawn or be a wallflower. If you see a lady you’re interested in, be observant. If she dances with guys other than her husband, or if she spends time talking to single men, maybe she’d enjoy talking or dancing with you as well. Don’t be afraid to approach her. Even in swing clubs, women generally don’t approach men. Just because a lady is with her husband, doesn’t mean she’s not available or is  not approachable - remember you are in a swing club. Don’t be afraid, just approach politely and with class.

Swingers clubs are social clubs not a drinking clubs. Drink in moderation.  No one likes to be around a flaccid slobbery drunk.

If someone tells you "NO" that’s all there is to it. It’s not open for discussion. Don’t ask why not?

All in all, it’s real simple, be a gentleman, be classy, be friendly, and treat people well. Everyone has a much better evening if the ladies have a fun time, and if they do, then you’ve got a great chance at having a really fun time with them.

And once again, admission to the swingers dance doesn't guarantee that you will have sex, but only that you will be admitted to the club. No one owes you anything and you shouldn’t expect anything from anyone.

If you follow these guidelines, you should have a great time and make lots of new sexy friends. And if you really want to be a single swinger guy and having fun with couples, then you should click here to read the  couples' info too. Then you will also know what they are would like to get from this lifestyle.