Connecting With Other Swingers
A Guide to Internet Contact Services

Ways to Meet Swingers

Swinging, by definition, cannot be done in isolation. So, the key prerequisite is finding, meeting, and getting to know other swingers. Once you know a few, meeting other couples should be easy because swinging is primarily a network activity and swingers are usually looking to expand their contacts by introducing the new to the veteran and by encouraging people to bring fresh faces to their social events. But, if you know no one, you are going to have to summon the courage to initiate contact on your own.

It may seem less intimidating to get started by correspondence, but, sooner or later, you'll have to face that first personal encounter anyway, so we recommend going directly to a gathering place such as a swinger's bar, club, or dance. There will be less pressure, more options, and you won't waste an evening trying to shake someone who wrote you a bunch of fabrications. And, don't just go once; there will probably be different people in attendance at different times.

For those who can't find clubs nearby (or can't find people they like at the clubs) or are simply looking for a new experience, there are numerous sites on the Internet where you can place and answer ads to find compatible couples. One advantage of these services is the possibility of finding parties who live in locations you are planning to visit; thus making travel a lot more fun. We offer some advice on creating effective ads here.

Contact/Ad Sites on the Web

It is virtually impossible to say how many swinger-ad sites there are on the Internet because they come and go so frequently. Certainly, there are more than any one person could review, and we aren't claiming that those listed here are "the best" of all available at a given moment. We have examined many of the most prominent sites, however, and we list below those that best meet our criteria.

Quantity vs. Quality
Many sites claim vast membership, and it does seem reasonable that the more ads listed the better the chances of finding compatible couples. Be aware, however, that quantity is not the same as quality. Some sites, as well as some printed magazines, have been known to inflate the number of ads by retaining ads past their expiration dates, inserting fictitious ads, or other devious practices. We have no evidence that any particular site has done this, but it's something to keep in mind when evaluating your own experiences.
      Anyway, how many ads a site carries isn't nearly as important as how attractive the site is to the sort of folks you seek. A million ads from single guys looking to get laid would only get in your way if you're a couple seeking other couples. Also, if the site is so blatant, sexist, or just plain ugly that you feel embarrassed to be there, what sort of people are you likely to find?

What You Pay For
Most services offer reduced fees for longer terms, some services offer fewer perks for lower cost, and some run temporary discounts and other deals, so don't assume you'll have to pay the listed rate. Many sites will automatically renew your subscription, and charge your credit card, until you say otherwise. We prefer those that don't.
     The word "FREE" is often used rather loosely by contact services. Generally, it means that one can gain some sort of limited access and/or use without charge, but full and permanent use requires payment. This limited access is useful for determining if the site has the type of ads you seek within your partying area.
     The only sites we've seen that actually are free are either very small or else essentially "fronts" for less scrupulous pay sites (either contact or just plain porno). These use every trick in the book (flashing banners, multiple exit consoles, disabled "back" button, etc.) to coerce visitors into linking to a pay service.
     In short, the amount of money charged may not be indicative of the quality of service offered, but if you pay nothing, don't expect much.

Swinging Is Sharing
Finally, if you have especially good or bad experiences with a site (listed here or not) please let us know so that we can share the info with the rest of our community.

Recommended Swingers' Contact Sites

[Note: Virtually all contact sites (including some listed above) pay a small percentage of fees to affiliates for referring new members. So, if and when you join one of these, please access it by the link here and help support The Swingers Lifestyle. Once you join, you may link directly to the site without coming here. The referral fee does not affect your cost and was not considered in our selection process.]

Writing Effective Ads

[ Post your Personal Ad ]

Criteria We Used In Selection

For those who are interested, here are the four criteria we employed in selecting sites for recommendation.

Approach — Sincere and respectful vs. blatant and leering. Do the operators seem to be trying to help swingers or only to maximize their profits? Do the preference forms emphasize attributes over personality so that one feels like a product on a supermarket shelf? Do overly precise criteria encourage self-defeating restrictions?

Credibility — Does it claim to be free when it really isn't? Are recurring credit-card charges obvious or optional? Does the site seem to have a good grasp of what swinging is all about, or is it really just a front for porno sites?

Ease of evaluation — To what extent can you view current ads or test the system before coughing up the dough? How simple is it to understand what is offered and how it works?

Functionality — Does the service perform as promised? Are preference criteria actually followed? Are sorts done accurately? Is it easy and comfortable to use? Is the user subjected to numerous pop-up consoles, flashing banners for porno, or other irritating devices?