All About Earwax

Many children go through a period of nonfluency between the ages of two and four. This nonfluency may take the form of the repetition of the first sound of a word (b-b-b-baby), or of the first syllable (ba-ba-ba-baby), or again of the entire word (the-the-the-the baby is crying). Such noticeable nonfluencies are often incorrectly labelled "stuttering" or "stammering," and can cause a flurry of worry among parents agonizing as their child struggles to complete his thought.

The chances are that your child isn't upset by his hesitant speech. But if he indicates that it does trouble him, you might calm his apprehension by explaining that everyone -- Mommy and Daddy, too -- has trouble speaking from time to time. Few of us have glib, golden tongues a hundred percent of the time. The vast majority of children pass through this state unaffected and then speak with normal fluency.

There are positive steps to take during this time to help your child. Listen to him attentively and accept his efforts without interrupting. As we already indicated, you should adopt a supportive, uncritical attitude toward all his speech attempts. When your child experiences difficulty, be a sympathetic audience. You may be sorely tempted to help finish his halting sentences or even to put an end to his awkward attempts at conversation, but keep your impatience in check. Let him complete his thoughts in his own fashion and at his own revved-up or poky pace.

Most important, don't, in any way, draw your child's attention to his nonfluencies. And try your best not to communicate your own concern to him. It may seem helpful to tell your child to slow down, take a deep breath, start over again, talk slowly, or think out his phrases before he speaks. Actually, any advice of this kind can be quite damaging. Your interference could well become a source of tension and convince your child that his speech simply doesn't measure up. And once such a notion is communicated, he may begin to feel insecure and unhappy -- both about his speech and himself.

It's particularly important at this time to provide a relaxed atmosphere. Don't rush, push, or crowd your child. Allow enough time for him to get through his day with a minimum of pressure.

Whatever the nature of the conflicts between you and your child, postpone them until he passes this stage of nonfluent speech. If you find yourselves battling over eating, bedtime, toilet training, or anything else, learn to make a hasty retreat. You can always deal with those issues at a later, more appropriate time.

The reactions and attitudes of others are crucial in helping your child cope with nonfluencies. Members of your family, friends, baby sitters, and visiting relatives all should be made aware of how to react to his speech. They should be warned not to mimic him or to poke fun at his obvious problems. Instead, they should learn how to listen patiently and avoid completing his words or sentences. Explain all of this to them -- out of earshot of your child, to be sure -- and add that the stage of nonfluency is a temporary one that requires an adult's forebearance.

This is not the time to push your child into the limelight, to make him the main attraction at family gatherings. Resist the temptation to get him to sing the ditty he just learned or to recite the nursery rhyme he's committed to memory. Of course, if your child volunteers to perform, accept it with pleasure.

Your understanding will give your child the support he must have at this stage. It's only natural that as a parent you'll be troubled by nonfluencies. But as you become aware of what's happening to your child, and of how you can help him, your concern will diminish.

(Taken from Better Speech for Your Child, by Michelle Lattman & Antoinette Seandel, Wideview Books, 1977)