When the rat race takes over, it's easy to forget the obvious. But it only takes a small gesture to bring your family closer. Some of the ideas here may be familiar but forgotten, others new. But they can all help you connect with your family and maintain those ties. Try a few -- they'll make you as happy as your children.

Designer Kiss

Develop a kiss that is unique to your family -- a "trademark." Two pecks on the tip of the nose, say, or one long then to short kisses on the forehead.

Silent Dommunication

Invent a silent symbol of your family's camaraderie -- for example, a thumbs-up signal, a wink or a gentle tug of an earlobe.

"What a Fine Family This Is!"

Flaunt it by placing framed family photographs on tables and walls around the house. Put a group photo in your child's room -- on his night table or on the wall.

Quick Peek

Slip a picture of yourself or the family into your child's pocket or backpack.

Dinner Bell

Have a "chain call" to bring everyone to the table. Pam calls Lisa, Lisa calls Beth, Beth calls Pete.

Role Model

Tell your child how you spent your day. It encouragese him to open up and share the details of his day.

"I'm Proud of You"

Compliment your child whenever you can. Better yet, let her overhear you singing her praises to someone else.

"It's My Mom's"

Lend your daughter a piece of your costume jewelry to wear to a special school function or during the weekend.

"It's My Dad's"

Lend your son a tie to wear on special occasions. Let your daughter wear one too, if she likes.

How Pretty

Wear whatever "jewels" your child makes or buys for you.

"I Chose You"

Tell your child how much you enjoy being his parent. Kids like to hear that they are loved and fun to be with.

"Sorry . . ."

Admit when you are wrong.

Pet Names

As your child gets older, don't drop pet names like Pumpkin, Dumpling, or Cupcake -- just use them privately to avoid embarrassing her.

"Mom, Come Look!"

If it's important enough for your child to ask you to see something he has done, it's important enough for you to take a look . . . and smile.

Lumpy Vases and Paper Flowers

If your child made it, find a special place for it -- never on a closet shelf. Take his "bowl" to work to hold paper clips.

Kid Fix

Request a "Kid Fix" (a hefty hug and a big kiss) whenever you feel the need. Let your youngster know it makes you feel much better.

"I Want It Too"

Consult your child when it's time to buy birthday gifts for her friends. You'll find out what she likes when she suggests gifts for others.

You Can Always Reach Me

Whether you're going out to work or to visit friends, show the telephone number to your child and encourage him to call you. If your phone has a memory system, program in your office number so that your youngest will have to remember only one digit.

Be a Believer

For as long as your child believes, be the tooth fairy.

Double Desserts

Once a mont, surprise -- and delight -- your children by announcing double-dessert night.

"How's Jamie?"

Inquire about your children's friends regularly.

Bravo

Let your child know that you are happy with his successes, whether they be great or modest. Don't compare him with his siblings or friends.

Sharing Secrets

You and your child can giggle together about a secret, enjoying the suspense, and being proud of each other for keeping the secret for so long.

Young Decorator

When sprucing up your child's room, allow her to pick the color theme she prefers (paint, sheets, curtains). Or give her specific choices -- say, between wallpaper designs.

Go Ahead, Try It

Encourage your child to try new things -- taste unusual foods, enter contests, write away for informtion on subjects that interest him.

Getting to Know You

Do you know your child's favorite color? Favorite television show? Favorite game? Book? Sport? Ask! When you know her preferences, you'll know her better, too. And don't forget to share your favorites with her, as well.

Once a Day

Tell your child you love him at least once every 24 hours -- when you send him off to school, when you tuck him in at night, or anytime in between.

Food, Glorious Food

Yes, the way to your child's heart is often through his stomach. Pick out one of his favorite snacks whenever you are zipping down the supermarket aisles.

Not the Teacher's Pet

During rough periods at school, be understanding. Don't be quick to jump on the teacher's bandwagon. Hear your child's point of view too.

Caring Questions

How was your spelling test? Did you win the game? If you know something important was scheduled that day, rememeber to ask about it.

Study Hall

Use the same table, couch or chairs for going over material for a test. Dub it the official "study corner," and get comfortable together.

Share the Seasons

Point out glorious leaf colors in the fall, a majestic snow-capped mountain in winter. There's a joy in introducing your child to -- and sharing with her -- the natural beauty of the changing seasons, or interesing or unusual sights in the landscape.

Early Start

Always kiss your child goodbye, even if he's asleep when you leave for work.

Hi, Kids, I'm Home!

When you arrive home from work, be cheerful and show your children how happy you are to see them, no matter how tired you may actually feel.

A Special Place

Keep an extra chair available for your child in your workshop area, home office or anywhere you spend a good deal of time, so that she will always feel welcome. Encourage her to sit and talk with you.

Praise Freely

Let your child know you recognize and appreciate his efforts by praising jobs well done and saying thank you for tasks completed.

By Any Other Name

Always put the flowers (a.k.a. weeds) your child picks for you in a special vase or container.

Shoe Store

Designate a spot near the door for you and your child to check that shoelaces are tied before he goes out. Call it the "shoe store," and help each other lace up when necessary.

Be Sympathetic

Don't take your child's problems lightly. Pay attention to what has happened, take time to hear her out, and offer concerned and thoughtful advice.

"I Wanna Hold Your Hand!"

The Beatles had the right idea. Whatever happened to hand-holding? Bright it back and hold your child's hand as a symbol of public affection. (If he balks at the idea, however, respect his wishes.)

Clear the Air

If you come home upset about something that happened at the office, let your child know that you are not angry with her. Considering your child's feeliings helps you both bridge the gap between office and home.

Stop Nagging

Limit your demands to a certain number per day -- and stick to it.

No More "Not Now"

Children are not responsible for your working too many hours. Dont' use "I'm too tired" as an excuse too often.

Musical Chairs

Once in a while, rotate positions so children will each have a turn as head of the dinner table.

The Driving Passion

Get excited about your child's individual interests, and spend time together talking about them.

(taken from Family Circle magazine, 12/21/93.

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