I have changed one of my life insurance policies so that it will cover my burial expenses, miscellaneous debts and pay an executor for my estate. As I don't have any really signicant assets, everything else is a personal bequest. If that money was not available, you probably would feel compelled to bury me, using the same insurance money that I've dedicated to the purpose. Frankly, I can't imagine you would enjoy distributing my personal effects, so I am planning to avoid putting that burden on you.

When I bought my latest insurance policy, I named Taiji as beneficiary because I want him to be able to go to college. He doesn't know it, but I will probably help pay for his college one way or another. As to Taiji being my "ward" it is just the reciprocal relation to "guardian," which I am since Patty and Sensei travel so much. When I was buying the policy, I was told that I needed to show an "insurable interest" beyond "friend" so I did it pro forma. Of course the reality is that I like Taiji a lot, and have invested a lot of effort into getting him into the country, teaching him English, dealing with his school and just coping with him growing up.

Still, the most upsetting thought that crossed my mind when we talked was that you are not upset about my money, but the possibility that I might spend some inheritance from you on a Japanese teenager. I'm not bothered that you want to choose how to settle your estate. Mom is right that you probably have stronger direct ties to my cousins Dan and Pat than to anyone not blood kin. But I don't feel any claim on your estate. I don't need it--leave it to someone who does. I won't act one way or another to get it.

So look. I'm sorry that you're upset. Money shouldn't be any measure of any relationship--and certainly not ours. Estates are a gesture at best, and a gesture won't change that I love you.


We come to Phil now.

I met him on October 4, 1981 at about one O'clock in the morning.

The following is the only thing I wrote about it during the year.


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