It is a new thought for me, that someone as smart and balanced as I know Morgan to be, would not have a pretty good idea where he begins and ends. After all, my life has been pretty screwed up for years by my need to be "discreet" in what I do, where I go, whom I am seen with, and what I say, and still my answer to Morgan had the simple certainty of reflex. For me the problem hasn't been so much knowing myself as having the courage to express that knowledge. I have always assumed that people found that the harder part of the problem of self-actualization. But if not, it is probably a partial answer to your question, "why are there so many weak people?"

I think it is because they don't know who they are and they haven't been, or aren't allowed to find out.

Anyway, since I was bad about doing paid work on Friday, I knew I had to skip Saturday morning class and log on to the big machine. It worked out well though. Our main drainpipe, which runs right by my bed, cracked late last week and someone had to stay home and let the plumbers in. I got up early Saturday (8:00AM - ugh!) to move things around and get a drop cloth down before the real mess started. Sensei still didn't drive, and Patty doesn't have a car, so I gave her mine so she could drive him to the dojo so he could teach. I went to work via telephone at my terminal. The plumbers were successful and our upstairs bathroom can be used again. But the computer work didn't go well, so I wasn't unhappy when the machine was turned off at 3:00PM and I had to quit.

My car was still gone at 3:30PM and I wanted to go down to Dupont Circle before things closed. I called the dojo and got Patty to come get me. I drove her back there on my way downtown, and we had an intense talk about teaching sword technique that would be very hard to describe. Something seems to have been on Patty's mind for the past few days and she is in one of her moods that I don't really understand. But I don't think I can do anything, and I expect it will pass.

After I let her off I kept thinking about sword technique and what she had said.

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