THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU

Thanks to jacobs_babe_03 for this fiction

* ~ * October 2001 - The Present * ~ *

This is my life. It's Friday, October 13 (I use to think that Friday the 13th was a good luck day… damn I was wrong) and I've lost my best friend and man I love to the same girl who took my first real boyfriend away from me. And on top of that I'm here here, standing next to his four band mates, I get to be in this wedding…yay ::twirls finger limply:: ::sarcastically:: lets throw a party.

They have been though this all the way with me. Now they're here with me as I'm watching as that bitch gets ready to marry him. How could I have let him leave me like that? I let him slip though my fingers.
On top of everything, I'm going to be 21 in four days . I wish I could have told him that I loved… love him. Maybe I could be the one getting ready to marry Trevor, instead of HER.

Chapter 1
Well, I probably just confused the hell out of you, so I think I'll start before he even had band members for me to be standing next to.

* ~ * July 1999 - The beginning of the past * ~ *

"Trevor!" I cried, pounding on my best friend's door. My cheeks were tear-stained, and my mascara was running from my eyes. I had a major head-ache (you know when you cry for so long you head hurts….that why).

God it was hot outside that night. But of course it was the middle of July in So. Cal. so it's always hot at night during that time of year.

I heard the door un-lock and Trevor emerged letting me inside. He hadn't even opened his eyes since he had let me in. I had woken him up, but I didn't care at the time. He was leaning against the door, I knew he was starting to fall asleep.

He was wearing those stupid boxers I had bought him for his birthday last year. Those black one's with the big red stupid kiss mark on his butt. I got him those cuz we got in a big fight before his birthday and he told me to kiss his ass. So that was my way of it. Plus I was really high when I bought the present and the lips looked really cool at the time.

I know I should have gone to see Charity or Bianca. The only thing is I knew that they would have told me that Shaun was an ass and that I could do so much better. Along with that I would have gotten the 'I told you so' speech. Trevor was different. He was someone who just let me talk and vent out all my anger.

Finally he opened up his eyes and looked up at me. He finally saw my tear stained cheeks and black running eye make-up. He looked stunned. "What happened??" He whispered. He wrapped his arms around my shoulder and I collapsed on him. He brought me over to his couch and sat me down next to him. I rested my head on his chest.

"I…" was all I could choke out. As I tried to recap the events that had happened earlier that night. Once again I tried to speak. "I came home after the game…" I pause again. I had been living with Shaun since last October. I moved in a week after my birthday since me and my dad weren't on speaking terms at that time.

I took another shaky breath and began talking again. "Well when I got home, I heard screaming. I told Shaun I wasn't gunna be home till tomorrow morning, I was planing on spending time with Charity. But anyway, I spazed out from the screaming I went to go see what was going on. I walked into his room, and he…" I couldn't finish the sentence, I broke down crying.

"Heather, babe, its going to be ok. What did he do?" Trevor asked me softly. I looked up at him with blood shot eyes. I felt so lost. I wanted to just crawl somewhere and cry my eyes out.
"Trevor!! He was fu*king Kelly!!" I cried out finally. I got up and began pacing as I cried out all my anger and hurt. "I mean he cheated on me!! And of all the people in the world, he had to do it with the girl who I've hated since middle school!" I sat down again. Trevor grabbed me and pulled me to him, enveloping me in a hug. He didn't say a word to me. He just sat, holding me and letting me cry on him.

Trevor had gone out with Kelly before, but I never thought she was capable of hurting someone that bad. God I hated her so much. Hell I still hate her.

I spent the night that night. I slept on his couch in his arms, with my face snuggled into his chest. The next day I took all my stuff out of the apartment I had been living with Shaun in and took over Trevor's extra room. I knew at the time this would work out better, only because we thought we wouldn’t have to worry about being jealous of each other.

* ~ * October 1999 * ~ *

I walked into the apartment after school. It had been a majorly long day, I had 2 classes earlier that day and I had to my stupid fall job. Since Baseball season was over, I had another job, and it was no fun compared to working at Quakes.

I loved living there. I never had to worry about not finishing an assignment. It was much better because I never had to wake up to a nice surprise, if you know what I mean. It was especially great, since we slept in separate rooms. Except for those few times when I first moved in.
I would have these nightmares and I would go into Trevor's room asking him to hold me. I was still adjusting to not having Shaun to comfort me at night so Trevor was always there for me. He would hold me all night, just so I could have a good nights sleep. But after a few weeks, the late night awakenings became less frequent till I didn't have to have Trevor hold me anymore.
"Hey Heather!" Trevor greeted me, poking his head out from the kitchen. The house smelt so good that day, he was baking cookies for me. I always loved the way he baked cookies.
"Hey Trev!" I greeted back. I walked past the kitchen and threw my back-pack on my bed. His apartment was great. It was a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom. We split the rent so it was actually somewhat cheep. It was kinda hectic sometimes though since we were both always trying to get ready for dates or parties. But in the end we worked around everything and it was all cool.
"I have something to tell you." He told me. He looked so serious. I thought something was wrong.

"What??" I asked looking at him. I went and sat on the counter in the kitchen.
"Remember those try outs for that boy band you made me go to??" He asked leaning against the counter opposite of me.

"Yeah the one where I was gunna beat up one of guy's girlfriends?" I said remember being surrounded but a bunch of bleached blond bimbos. God that was hell.
"Yeah, that." He paused and looked at me. Suddenly a wide smiles came to his face. "I GOT A CALL BACK!!" He screamed. I jumped off the counter and jumped on him, giving him the biggest hug I possibly could.

"Oh my Gosh!!! I'm so proud of you!!!" I yelled. "So what is gunna happen now??" I asked, leaning against the counter again.

"Well there's 25 finalists, then there's going to be 8 picked from those, then they'll pick the final 5." He explained. Oh my gosh! I think in my whole life, that was the most exciting moment of my life. And the sad thing is that it wasn't even my moment. But I was just so happy for him!
"That's so cool!!" I squealed. Then he gave me that look. You know when someone is saying that 'yeah that's good news, but there's bad to go with it' well that was the look he gave me. "there's a but isn't there??" I asked.

"Yeah?I have to go to Orlando." He told me. "The whole thing is based in Orlando, Florida. So that means I'm gunna be leaving in a week." He further explained.

"Oh. Well I know you'll make it. You have everything that they look for?well maybe not the looks, but still? I trailed off, teasingly. He hit my playfully and I hit him back.

"I'm so not gunna miss you!" he said.

I Jumped on him, wrapping my legs around his waist. "YOU WILL TOO MISS ME!!" I cried. "Tell me! Tell me you'll miss me!!" I yelled laughing.

"No!" He yelled back also laughing. "I won't miss you!!" He laughed harder.
I unwrapped my legs from him and walked away with a sad face. "I still won't miss you. Even if you give me that puppy dog face." He told me. I turned around and grinned. I ran towards him and started tickling him.

"Admit it!!" I yelled to him. He tried to squirm away from me but I had him cornered. "Damn you! Admit you'll miss me!" I yelled louder.

"Ok!" He gasped "Ok! I'll miss you!!" He laughed, gasping for air. I stopped tickling him and stepped back. I smiled sweetly.

"I knew you would." I said like a small child. I punched his stomach jokingly

Chapter 2
I found out he was leaving 2 days after my 19th birthday. So for my birthday, he took me out to a club. He stayed with me the whole night. I was always really good at making friends and meeting people to dance with at clubs (I use to go to all age clubs before I was 18), but I just danced with him the whole night. I just talked with him and laughed and had tons of fun.

We went home around 3 in the morning. He had gotten one of his friend to buy a bottle of Tequila (I love Tequila). So we wound down from dancing while we shared the alcohol beverage.

I kissed him that night. We had finished the whole bottle and were both pretty drunk. I don't really know what came over me, we were just making stupid jokes, I looked at him and in a split second our eyes were linked together. I just leaned forward and kissed him. I guess when I look back now, that the saying 'drunks never lie' really is true. But, he did kiss me back, but it only lasted for a few seconds and the next day, neither of us brought it up, so I guess he didn't even remember it. God I wish he remembered that. Maybe I would be happy now. Oh well.

A tear slid slowly down my face as I was the last to give Trevor a hug before he boarded his plain to Orlando. "Hey Heath, look at the bright side, in a couple months, your best friend will be famous." He gloated.

I smiled evilly at him. "No, Trev, the bright side is that you're gunna be with a bunch of cute guys who you can hook me up with." I joked. Inside I was wishing I could kiss him once more, maybe just so he would have known how much I really was going to miss him.

He just smiled at my comment. "You better stay out of trouble. And if I really make it, take Charity and Bianca up on their offer, and move in with them. I don't want you to be placed with the whole apartment payment if I'm not there." He told me.

"Yes dad!" I laughed. We hugged each other one more time. I swear he held on a second longer than usual. But he pulled away and slowly walked up the long corridor to his soon departing plain. Everyone left after his plain pulled away. But I stayed behind, watching as the plain slowly faded away into the sky. After about 15 minutes, Charity came over with a bag on McDonalds for me and we left.

(A.N. ~ No I'm not advertising McDonalds, it's just the first thing that popped in my head?to be honest, I hate McDonalds. The girl I based Charity on loves McDonalds so it works!)

Chapter 3
* ~ * February 2000 * ~ *

Trevor was suppose to be finding out if he made the band this week. He had gone though everything and he was in the final 8, well actually 7 because one of the guys left to be in a country group, but that's another story completely. He was so happy when he told me he made the 8 and I was so happy for him.

Since even if he didn't make it to the final 5 that would make the group, he would still be gone for about 4 months. I moved in with Charity, Bianca, Stephanie, and Geniffer (pronounced Jennifer) when they were all moving in together.

That's why I got the offer from Charity and Bianca, because they had just signed to rent a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom apartment. I ended up sharing a room with Charity since me and her drew the short straws. But it was all good. I didn't have to live by myself and I just kept busy.

The baseball season had started again, so all five of us were working at the same places. To save gas and everything, we would just car pool there in my car and Charity's car. Two in my car and three in hers. I loved my car so much. I had gotten it after saving for 3 years. It was a 2001 silver Mustang convertible. I had told Trevor I would have a bran new Mustang sooner or later.

It was about 5 o'clock when the phone rang. "I got it!" I could hear Bianca yell as she ran past my room excitedly. She was waiting for Robert to call to tell her when she was going to pick up Skyler.

Skyler was her son. She had him on Christmas day. Even though she doesn't believe in god, she was still happy to have such a great and beautiful Christmas present. Even though I hated Robert (I still do), he and Bianca made a beautiful baby. Skyler had Roberts sky blue eyes, and Bianca's curly brown hair.

He was my nephew, or I called him that, since I was an only child and I wouldn't have and niece's or nephew's unless I married into a big family. That's what I want, to marry someone with a big family and have two or four kids, I don't want three kids just because all my friends who are middle kids hate it. I don't want my kids to hate being a middle child so I won't have a middle child.

"Heather! Phone! It's Trevor!" I heard Bianca yell to me. A smile spread across my face and I ran to the phone. "Make it quick, I'm expecting Robert to call." She told me before she walked out of the kitchen.

"We have call waiting!!" I yelled after her. I focused my attention to the phone, not paying attention to the grumbles coming from Bianca. "Hay babe!" I greeted Trevor over the phone.
"Hey." He said softly. He sniffled over the phones. I thought he didn't make it.

"So what happened? Did they pick the final five?" I asked. I was going to cry, just hearing him cry.

"Yeah, they picked the final five…" he trailed off. God I hate when he does that to me. Whe he trails off and I know there's more he has to say.

"Well?!?!?! What happened?" I asked impatiently.

"I MADE IT! Oh my god I made it. I can't believe I made it!" I cried happily. Tears came to my eyes and began crying for joy. He had achieved what he wanted so much.

"OH MY GOSH! I'm so proud of you!" I cried even more. I WAS SO HAPPY! You know when I said that when Trevor got chosen for the 25 that was the most exciting moment of my life, well it changed, when he was chosen to be one of the final 5 was the most exciting moment of my life. "So what's the name of the band, I'm gunna be your groupie!" I said laughing, wiping my tears of joy away.

"We’re called O-Town. That's our final name" he told me. "It's Me, Jacob, Ashley, Erik, and Ikaika."

I had visited him once and met all the guys. They were all really nice. I didn't like Ikaika much though. He kinda gave me attitude and I don’t take attitude well, unless I know the person really well and I know what their moods are.

Erik and Jacob were hot. Except I didn't like the whole Justin Timberlake look on Jacob. I had seen pictures of him when he had dread-locks in high school or something. I liked the dreads on him much better than the short, bleached, curly hair.

"Heather, I got to go, I have to call my parents still and the rest of the guys have to call their families and stuff. I'll call you later if I can." He told me.

"Ok, talk to you later. Bye." I said before we both hung up.

I leaned against the kitchen table with a big, goofy grin of my face. He was going to be famous. I was going to have a famous best friend. There was so much going through my mind I just couldn't think straight.

"What was that all about?" Geniffer broke though my thoughts.

"Trevor made it." I said softly. I was letting the words sink in as I said them aloud. I knew at the time my world would change after that, but I didn't want to think of that.

"He did?!?!?!" Geniffer questioned. I merely nodded my head answering her question. "Oh my god!!" She yelled as she ran to the end of the hall to tell everyone else. I could her screaming the good news, but yet I could barely speak. The rest of the day I spent thinking about how happy Trevor was going to be.

Chapter 4
* ~ * September 2000 *~ *

O-Town was going to be performing at the Epicenter (Also the Quakes Stadium). I was so happy, I was going to get to see him after all this time. I hadn't seen him in about 9 months and I missed him so much. But I was going to see him and I was going to be so happy tonight I thought.

Me, Charity, Bianca, Geniffer, and Stephanie all walked into the Epicenter just as the gates had opened. Trevor had given us passes so we could see him before the show, so we went to the "back stage" area and went to see him.

"Trevor!" I yelled as I ran towards him. He turned around and smiled as I jumped into his arms like a little girl running to her father after him being away on business for a weekend. He wrapped his arms around me and swung me around.

"I missed you so much!" I yelled as he put me down and looked me over. I had cut and died my hair since I last saw him and I actually lost a lot of weight too.

"Wow, you look great!" he told me.

Then the rest of O-Town and my friend walked, up by Me and Trevor. I introduced Charity, Bianca, Geniffer, and Stephanie to the guys and vice-versa.

Dan was there, he had gotten picked to take and open space when Ikaika decided to be a dick and leave (see I said before that I didn’t like him when I first met him!). But Dan was a sweetie and everything was cool.

Jacob had his dreads back. He grew back his goatee and started painting his nails again. He always had the coolest nail polish! He actually gave me one cuz I was always using it. But anyway…

We had to leave because O-Town had to go on a perform. Charity, Bianca, Geniffer, Stephanie, and I all went and watched them perform. They were so good. Their harmonies were great and the dances were wonderful.

After the concert, a mutual friend of mine and Trevor's threw a party for him. Kelly was there. I was so mad that she was there, but yet I knew Trevor still liked her a lot. So I just stayed away. All I knew was if she hurt him, I would beat her down so fast she wouldn't even know it.
I didn't really see much of Trevor after that. Him and Kelly had a falling out after she visited him. They were still on talking terms, but she just 'didn't want a boyfriend' at the time. But yet she was fu*king Shaun still. Oh well, it wasn't my problem anymore.

It was 5 am, and my birthday. Geniffer came running into my room. Charity was already up, since she was the early-bird-lady. She woke up every morning at 4:30, so she could get ready before anyone could take over all the bathrooms. She was always the smartest of the 5 of us.
Geniffer jumped on my bed laughing. "Comon', get up! There's a present for you in the living room!" She exclaimed, jumping on my bed.

I looked over to my clock, wanting to know what time it was. When I did, I let out a long groan "It's five in the morning! Why exactly are you waking me up?" I asked covering my face with a pillow and had gone to my side in the night.

"Just get up! I made you a breakfast cake and coffee. Bianca, Stephanie, and Charity are already waiting for you with your present!" Geniffer laughed as she jumped off my bed.
I groaned again before I rolled out of bed. I threw on a pair of boxers and a 'husband beater.' I threw my hair into a messy pony-tail and slowly walked into the living room, rubbing my eyes so they would adjust to the light.

When I got into the living-room, there stood Trevor, Ashley, Erik, Jacob, and Dan. Trevor Was holding a white rose with red tips… My favorite rose of all. And I always loved getting single roses over bunches.

I stood in shock as they began to beautifully sing happy-birthday to me. Bianca, Stephanie, and Charity sat behind me on our large sofa, enjoying the beautiful harmony (and the gorgeous guys). Once they were finished singing, Trevor handed me the single rose and Geniffer came out with a stack of pancakes that and syrup and frosting on it. She always came up with the most creative things.

"Happy-birthday Heather!" Geniffer exclaimed as she handed me the plate with my 'cake' on it.
I was totally and completely stunned. 'What are you doing here?" I asked Trevor. For some reason I sounded so mad and evil. And I was mad at him. I don't know why but I was. I just had this feeling I had to be mad at him for some reason.

He had come all this way just to see me on my birthday, but I was mad at him. I had no real reason or proof, I just was.

"Well, I was down here for a week, doing publicity and visiting Kelly and my family and what-not. I remembered today was your birthday so I made arraignments with Charity and Geniffer to come and visit you so I could wish you a happy birthday." He explained to me. The thought of him visiting home and not seeing me but seeing Kelly sent me off.

"Let me get this straight. You come down here for a week to visit KELLY, but you don't visit me. The only reason you visited me at all is because it's my birthday?" I asked, my tone was more distinct of my anger.

"Well I figured you would be busy so I…" He began to say but I cut him off.

"You figured I would be busy!" I exclaimed "You're saying this to me! You should know that at the drop of a dime I would go anywhere for you! You, of all people should know that!" I screamed at him. I dropped the flower as tears began to form in my eyes. I had no idea why I was being so emotional. "If you don’t even know that about me then I don't even want to talk to you! I don't want to hear about it when Kelly goes back to Shaun! Fu*k you! Fu*k her!" I screamed louder stepping closer to Trevor. "No wait, you probably already took care of that!" I said sarcastically. Tears began to fall freely down my face and ran to my room.
Just before I slammed my door I heard Jacob ask "What the hell was that all about?"

Chapter 5
I laid face down crying into the same pillow that Trevor had give me for my 16th birthday. I heard someone knock of the door. "Go away Trevor!" I yelled. The door slowly opened and someone walked in.

I got up, thinking it was Trevor, going to tell him off, but it was Jacob standing in front of my, once again closed door, looking at me innocently.

"Oh, come in." I said softly moving over so he could sit down also. "I'm sorry I went off like that if front of you. I usually don't do that, but something just clicked inside of me, and I had to say something or I would regret never saying something." I told him.

"It's ok. But I just have something to ask you. What do you have against Kelly? I mean she seem like a cool girl. And it seems like you and Trevor have a lot of drama between you two that he doesn't talk about. Is there?" He asked. Obviously Trevor had never talked about what happened with Shaun and I, which I could understand, being that it was my business to tell if I wanted to.

"Well that's kinda a long story." I told him.

"Well I have the time." He told me. "Unless of course, you don't want to talk about it. That's fine." He said reassuringly.

"No, That's fine, I just didn't know how long you were going to be here." I paused. He didn't say a thing so I decided to go on. "Well I met Trevor in 8th grade. We had the same class and we actually found out that our dad's were friends, so we became instant friends." I smiled at the memory. "But, I met Kelly in 7th grade. We NEVER got along, but Trevor had the biggest thing for her, so I was nice and I treated her with respect, just because she was a friend of his. Well in 9th grade they went out finally. I, of course being the best friend, was the one he always talked to about problems he was having with her. By the middle of 10th grade they broke up. I didn't like her in the first place like I said, but she blamed me for them breaking up. We actually got in a big fight in 10th grade, I beat her ass. That was really funny. But anyway, at the end of my 11th grade year, I started dating Shaun, who Kelly had been trying to get at for years. Well just after I graduated, I was living with Shaun since just after my 17th birthday. Just after I had graduated, it was July I think, I came home from work, and I caught Shaun sleeping with Kelly. I totally went off and I went to Trevor's place, I knew he would know what to do. He stayed with me that night when I fell asleep in his living room. The next day I moved in with him and I lived with him till October when he was chosen as one of the 25." I explained.
"Wow? Jacob trailed off. "Well now I know why you don't like Kelly. But, what's with you and Trevor. I mean, didn't you ever have feelings for him as more than a friend?" He asked.
"Well?I guess I dido." I told him. " I remember I kissed him once, we were both drunk and I just kissed him. But he never said anything about it so I figured he forgot about it." I told Jacob. I had never told anyone that before, not even the girls I lived with, and I told them everything!

"Whoa? he said. I sat starring at me.

"Jake! Comon' we gotta go!" I could hear Trevor yell to Jacob. I knew he wouldn't come into my bedroom. We never even looked at each other when we were fighting. It was 7:30, we had been talking for over an hour.

Jacob slowly got up. He gave me a hug good-bye and he left. No one else came in to see me, but Charity told me that they all said bye?except Trevor of course.

Chapter 6
* ~ * December 2000 * ~ *

I got a card from Trevor on Christmas. Even thought I don't believe in god, he insists on sending me holiday cards every year. He does it just to piss me off. The only difference, was this year he didn't write some stupid little greeting in it that was different from everyone else's. He didn't write anything in it, he just signed it.

I still hung it up though, like I do all of his cards. I keep them on my shelf with all of my other cards.

Jacob called me Christmas day, to wish me a merry Christmas. He knew what I believed in, but he still did it, he said it was so I knew someone was thinking about me on the holidays. I appreciated it, even thought I hate that time of year. It really made my day.

It was new years eve. We were in Orlando. That was my Winter Solstice present, Charity, Geniffer, Bianca, and Stephanie bought plain tickets for all of us to go to Orlando for 2 weeks. We were staying in the most beautiful spa type hotel. Everything was decorated in Japanese art-work. There were porcelain masks and the fans with the beautiful scenery painted on them. I've always had a big thing for the Japanese culture.

We were going out tonight. We had been there for three days already. But it was the New Year, the new millennium. We were all putting on our make-up and doing our hair. Bianca knew people in Orlando and scored ticked to some big party at Planet Hollywood. We had all gone shopping the day before and each had a new outfit to wear to the party.

I was wearing a long black hip-hugging skirt with slits up each side that were so high that you could see the attached shorts underneath. It had Flames coming up the front in silver glitter. With that, I wore a black 3/4 length sleeve shirt with a big, red, sparkly kiss mark on it. God, that shirt reminded me of Trevor's Boxers. But anyway, I curled my hair in TIGHT banana curls and put all sorts of glittery clips in my hair. I wore some mid-thigh, black, high, thick-healed boots.

Around 10 o'clock, everyone way ready and rarin' to go. So we all go together and left in the van that we rented when we got to Orlando.

Once we got to the party, loads of people were surrounding the place and there were already lots of people inside. As we stepped out of the van, into the parking lot (there was valet, but we were cheep and didn't want to pay). We walked up to the front door, there were pauperize and girls everywhere.

"It looks like there's gunna be some big group here tonight!" I yelled to Bianca over the screaming as we went inside.

"Well there is." Charity told me.

"What? No one told me this!" I said as we finally got into the main room. It was great! There were tons of people there and there were decorations everywhere.

"Oh… I was kinda hoping that I wouldn't have to tell you…" Bianca trailed off.

"Tell me what?! Who' s here?!" I asked excitedly. Suddenly I heard loud screaming coming from the entrance. I turned and watched as Trevor walked in with Kelly on his arm, followed by Ashley, Dan, Erik, and Jacob.

Trevor was there. They took me to a party where I would have to stay in the same room as him and that stupid bitch, who he was dating openly. Quickly I turned around and walked to the other side of the room.

About a half hour later, I was talking to a very handsome and somewhat drunk man. He was about 6'1 with hazel-green and brown hair with Blue tips. His name was Tim. Well Timothy, but he told me to call him Tim. Suddenly he grabbed my arm out of no-where, he started trying to drag me to the yard, saying that he wanted some time alone with me.

He pulled harder and it hurt so I screamed. Suddenly Trevor came over and told Tim off. They argued for a few seconds, but the Tim soon left. I looked at him stunned. He saved me…

"We may be mad at each other, but I saw what happened and I could never let anyone hurt you." He told me looking down at me. "I say we put this behind us and just be friends again. Jacob keeps tell me about you whenever he talks to you and I miss you." He admitted.

I smiled up at him smiling. "OK." I agreed softly "As long as I don't have to spend more than 10 minutes with her." I paused pointing to Kelly "It'll work out perfectly."

He smiled widely and hugged me. He grabbed my arm softly and took me over to the rest of the O-town boys, who were flirting with my friends. Dan and Charity seemed to be going out then, they were holding hands and talking to each other secretly. Ashley seemed totally into Bianca, and Erik and Geniffer looked like they wanted to just go into the bathroom and rape each other. Stephanie and Jacob seemed to like each other. Right when we got to the group, Kelly pulled Trevor away from me and I was once again alone.

* ~ * January 2001 * ~ *

By the time New Years came, I was totally wasted and ready to go find Tim again and let him 'get to know me better.' That's what has always been the worst thing about me, whenever I'm depressed, I get laid to make all my thoughts go away. For some reason, when you're having sex, all your thoughts go away and everything feels right. Or at least that's how it is with me.
Around two o'clock in the morning, I started to throw up since I was piss drunk. I ended up being taken home by Jacob, of course I don't remember actually getting home.

I do remember waking up in my bed and Jacob was on the floor next to me. I had no idea what happened. I asked him what happened and he told me that he held back my hair while I puked into the trashcan next to my bed. I knew it was true because when I woke up, my trash can was full of Puke (and I was really nasty). God, I think that was the worst hang-over I ever had.

Chapter 7
* ~ * April 2001 * ~ *

Trevor was coming down today! He was gunna come, and see me on the first day of baseball season for the Quakes. I was part of the 'trash can family' that year, so he said "I'm gunna come and see you make a fool out of yourself dancing like you did to me." Of course I told him I was much better than he ever was, even though he was so much better then me.

"Come on!! Let's go, we got be at the park in 10 minutes and if your lazy butts aren't here in two seconds, I'm going to leave without you!!!" I yelled to my room-mates. Seconds later, they all emerged, Charity holding her keys. We left and got to the stadium. Once we got there we all changed and went to where we were supposed to be.

Around the 3rd inning I saw all the O-town boys, surrounded by tons of girls. Kelly was near by, trying to get to her seat. I broke though telling the girls that, "They were here to watch the game" and they actually left. In between the 5th and 6th inning they had a contest between Kelly and Trevor, and Erik and Geniffer (Geniffer didn't have to work that day). They had to hold a beach ball together using their butts.

Erik and Geniffer won, but when they went to ask Trevor what he was thinking of not winning, he took the phone from Billy (He was the announcer on the field) and proposed to Kelly! I was in shock. I had just witnessed my best friend propose to my worst enemy.
He got down on one knee and gave her the ring. I started crying. She didn't even cry, she said yes though. Oh my god, I think that was the worst thing I ever experienced.

The next day, Trevor came over with Kelly. She showed off her ring. It was the same ring I had showed Trevor I wanted when I got engaged. It was white-gold with her birth stone in the middle of his birth stones. It was so beautiful.

Kelly asked me to be in the wedding. Trevor had her ask me. I was going to be on Trevor's side of the ceremony of course. But she said that she wanted me to know that she accepted me being friends with Trevor?yeah, right.

* ~ * May 2001 * ~ *

Trevor's engagement was all over MTV. Whenever I turned on MTV and MTV NEWS was on, it was all about Trevor and Kelly. They actually tried to interview me, but I wouldn't do that. I just told them that it was true and I was going to be in the wedding.
Kelly was going to plan the whole wedding. She was going to have it, four days before my birthday. Isn't that going to be just the most wonderful birthday gift.

* ~ * July 2001 * ~ *

I was at a wedding boutique getting fitted for my dress for the wedding. I don't know why I was getting fitted. The wedding wasn't for another 3 months. I did not want to be there. Kelly just seemed to be rubbing in my face, that she had won the war.
"You love him don't you?" Jacob said as he stood behind me, trying on his tuxedo and I looked at myself in the beautiful lavender dress.

"Excuse me?" I asked turning and facing him. I had told him everything. He became my shoulder to cry on when I was down on my luck. I had lost that with Trevor.

"You heard me." He said softly but sternly. "You love him." He didn't even ask me this time.
"I…" He was right. I knew he was right. I didn't want to admit it for so long so I hid it from everyone, including myself. "I do. I love him." I said. I turned around and studied myself in the mirror. A tear slid down my cheek and my hands crossed over my body.

The dress was so beautiful. Yet I longed to be in the flowing, white gown that Kelly was trying on at that moment. I wanted it to be trying on that wedding dress, that would be used in the marriage to Trevor.

"You should tell him." Jacob told me in my ear and softly pushed me towards Trevor. I grabbed his arm and led him to the corned of the boutique.

"Trevor, I have something to tell you…" I trailed off. Was I going to be able to do this?

"What Heather? Is something wrong?" he asked me. He seemed so worried for me. I wanted to hold him so bad. Like he use to when I moved into his apartment and he would hold me while I slept so I would still be comfortable.

"I…" I had to do it. "I…I'm proud of you." I couldn't do it. "I'm glad you found who you were meant to be with." I smiled. Even though it meant I lost the one I was meant to be with. "and just so you know. If you're ever hurt, listen to 'the arms of the one who loves you' That is my song to you." I told him before I walked back to the dressing room.

I would never be able to tell him. It was too late and I had lost him.

Chapter 8
* ~ * October 2001 * ~ *

Now here I am, again. Standing here. Wanting to cry so bad. I guess you really don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Jacob is holding my hand. He just squeezed my hand, just a reassuring squeeze to hold me over. The music started and Kelly slowly walked down the isle.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered…" I hear the Pastor say before he slowly fades away in my head.

I should have told him! I have to tell him or I'll never live this down… I'm going to tell him.
"…If anyone doesn't think that these two should not be wed, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace." It’s now, or never.

"Wait!" I'm going to do this, I have to do this. Kelly is looking at me like she is going to slaughter me right now. "I have to do this. If I don't I'll never forgive myself. Trevor…" Damn-it Heather say it! "I love you!" I blurted out. Everyone does the fake gasps. Kelly just turned beat red from me saying that.

"What?" Trevor chokes out.

"I love you. I've loved you since… forever. I just never wanted to admit it. Now I admitted it to myself, and I just had to tell you." I'm smiling. I said it. Now I'm leaving. I just ruined the whole wedding. Even if he didn't love me in return, he's going to want to wait.

He's following me. "Heather! Wait!" I hear him say. I stopped. Tears are running down my face and I can't turn around. He finally caught up to me. He turned me around. I looked up though my watery eyes' at him. He's crying too. He leans down and kisses me gently. I've been waiting for that for 9 years.

"I love you Heather. And just so you know, I think you're the one who need to be in the arms of the one who loves you." He told me smiling.

I wrap my arms around him and he does the same. This is how it should always me. I want to be in his arms, In the arms of the one who loves me.

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