Part 54
Me: They�re all over at the fire.
Kevin: I feel like I�m in Die Hard With a Vengeance.
Me: Why?
Kevin: Because I could steal Manhattan right now and no one would notice.
(my survey answer)
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: are a few of my favorite things. Along with girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes and something or other that melts into spring, yes these are a few of my favorite things.
Jaime: We�ll be exhausted tomorrow.
Me: At least we�ll look hot.
Jaime: We WILL look hot.
Me: There is a 6 hour maximum on my cuteness.
Jaime: We passed that two hours ago.
Missy: So what was the problem with the Mass?
Me: First, the new priest yelled at us, because apparently you can only hear God in absolute quiet. Then, he was saying how the Judas inside all of us is what makes us disregard the fact that Jesus is found in silence, so I figure, if that�s true, maybe he should accept the Judas inside him, get off the podium, and SHUT THE HELL UP.
Kevin: I rearranged the shed to fit more stuff in it. If you want, I think we could actually get that sandbox in there.
Me: Cool.
Kevin: It�s a wonder that I suck at Tetris.
Kevin: I would make the best gay guy ever, if only I didn�t like chicks.
Me: I would make the best lesbian ever�if only I didn�t like guys. Hey, that must be why Kev and I are such good friends.
Me: Oh, wow.
Jaime: What?
Me: Apparently, according to Nazi-Pope, the fact that I am pro-choice means I should be excommunicated.
Jaime: Really.
Me: Yeah�and you�re going straight to hell.
Me: I can�t believe you.
Molly: What?
Me: Don�t ever tell a nun that you will burst into flames when you walk into church. Especially not in this house.
Me: Kev says that if you want to be a rapper, you�re going to have to get some gear.
Jaime: Gear? Like, what? Some Baby Phat clothes and Timbs?
Me: We need tree squirrels in here like whoa.
Jaime: Steve, we are having an ice cream emergency up in here.
Me: I got ice cream at Dairy Queen yesterday.
Kev: Did you see Dan�s girl?
Me: I don�t know. However, I got much less ice cream in my cup than I should have. As un-PC as it is to say it, and as much as I hate this expression, there was nothing else I could think of at the time�I got jewed.
Mom: No one is allowed to poop in this house until after Saturday.
Me: I can�t seem to find a hole big enough to crawl into and die from embarrassment.
Jaime: We are in pursuit of the suspect!!! He is heading down Elmwood toward Regal Movie Theaters!
Me: Wait, there he is!
Jaime: We must have been chasing Andy.
Me: This is a three car pile up waiting to happen.
Will: I�m hungry.
Jaime: We have the suspect in custody and he is hungry!!
Will: Let�s go to Olympic.
Jaime: The suspect wants to go to Olympic!!!!!!
Me: Sweet. Crispy. Christ.
Nick: More like sweet burnt Christ!
Jaime: For my birthday, I would like you to make a sign that says �Hi, my name is Steve, and I am a gigantic buffoon.� And then make him wear it when we go out Friday night.
Me: Consider it done.
Jaime: I just wish it were Friday and I was out of work so that I could go have a beer�or fifteen.
Me: I can just see you explaining to your boss that she is the only thing standing between you and drunken retarded-ness. And that you will go through her to get to the drunken retarded-ness if you have to.
scaryglowworm13: I want toast. I�ll brb.
Im Just Chillen: make me some
scaryglowworm13: lol, ok. I�ll just toss it over the fence.
scaryglowworm13: hey I got u a present
Im Just Chillen: is it toast?!