Part 35
Me: So I have heard. From numerous sources. Has no one thought to teach him these things?
Katy: I had to do that. Not with him, though I probably should have.
Me: Nah. I sleep better knowing he sucks at that.
Katy: HAHAHAHAHAHA Oh my god! In the two days we dated, I cheated on him! That�s saying a lot!
Me: Can you even really define that as cheating, though?
Katy: Well, no, as we weren�t so much dating as we were�dancing around issues. It was an elaborate dance.
Me: Honey, this entire summer was an elaborate dance.
Katy: I can�t believe its October. I thought it was August.
Me: That�s what I like about you. You�re not going to get a little thing like school interfere with your summer vacation.
Katy: You should go out with him. It would be the ultimate couple. You could take over the world!!!
Me: I know. Everyone keeps saying that if the two of us were to date it would restore the natural order of the world, and I�m just like �Um�thanks, Viv.�
Katy: I love how Victoria equals everyone.
From Katy�s journal:
PS- Superman died
PPS- Aquila's home
PPPS- I don�t think that�s a coincidence.
Me: We just won�t tell him you�re coming.
Molly: Why?
Me: It�ll be like a horribly uncomfortable surprise.
chandra161: With all due respect: Didn't I TELL you that this entire quadrangle thing wasn't going to work out because everyone wanted to sleep together and you'd never all be "just friends"?
scaryglowworm13: I know! But that�s the thing though...it�s like we got to the point of finally all just being friends and thought "well, this sucks."
Molly: Oh my god, we killed Bambi�s mom.
Me: I can�t believe you hit a deer.
Molly: At least I can get my front bumper fixed now.
Dad: Molly�s insurance company called to make sure you were ok. I told them that you had been unconscious since 8am and to call our lawyer.
Me: Ok.
Dad: You know, under New York State by-law, if you kill the deer, you can keep it. We could have had venison for a year.
Todd: Well, which would you prefer: Me shooting deer for sport, or the population going out of control and you having deer walk out in front of your car?
Me: That is so unfair!!
Me: I want to...go...home.
Kevin: ME TOO!!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!!!!!
Kevin: I love you ::smack:: ow. I love you ::smack:: ow. I love you ::smack:: WHAT THE FUCK?
Guy on TV: No one on earth has had sex to this song, except maybe Tommy Lee.
Jaime: And Nick Mason.
Me: Katy thinks I should apply at Pizza Plant.
Jaime: Yes, because you, Katy, RIck and Lillis is a great idea.
Rick: So�I hear you killed one of my deer�
Me: Yeah, I was going to dump it on your lawn, but I couldn�t find your house�
Me: Molly! It�s a deer sign�turn back now�
Me: I have to do two things while in the city�buy a shot glass and see the angel statue.
Rick: That works out cuz I have to buy a bootleg VCR off a crack head.
Me: I hate to tell you this�as turns out�I have written a happy ending.
Rick: That was indeed a happy ending�but you can�t find the last page, I don�t have my script, no one else does�pretend it doesn�t exist. And then when you�re rich and famous I�ll tell everyone.
Me: And I will have a press conference saying that we have never met.
Rick: And I will be at that press conference, and jump up and say it isn�t true, and then you�ll start arguing with me, and say something that only you could know, and prove that you do know me.
Me: Damnit, I would.
Me: I wish I had some annoying friend that followed me around�
Rick: HI BRIGGY!!!
Me: It�s a win-win situation. I get resolution, he gets a stalker.
Rick: You called? Why didn�t you leave a message?
Me: Just giving you a taste of your own medicine.
Rick: Briggy...nooooo�I don�t want to leave my bed�
Me: Get your butt out of bed. Now.
Rick: But�it�s comfy!!!!