Joanna Eberhart: I guess I want to be remembered.
Bobbie Markowe: Dave set me loose at Bergdorf's and I went mad!
Bobbie Markowe: If I were to apologize for every time I got smashed, I'd spend my life wandering around saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry."
Dale Coba: I like to see women doing small domestic chores.
Joanna Eberhart: You came to the right town.
Joanna Eberhart: When you come back, there will be a woman with my name and my face, she'll cook and clean like crazy, but she won't take pictures and SHE WON'T BE ME!
Joanna Eberhart: Why do they call you Diz?
Dale Coba: I used to work in Disneyland.
Joanna Eberhart: No, really!
Dale Coba: No. Really.
Joanna Eberhart: I don't believe you.
Dale Coba: Why not?
Joanna Eberhart: You don't seem to be the kind of person that likes to make other people happy.
Bobbie Markowe: Am I game? Am I GAME? Boy! Am I game!
Walter Eberhart: She cooks as good as she looks, Ted.
Joanna Eberhart: If I am wrong, I'm insane... but if I'm right, it's even worse than if I was wrong.
Carol Van Sant: I'll just die if I don't get this recipe. I'll just die if I don't get this recipe. I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.
Bobbie Markowe: If you tell me you don't like this dress, I'm sticking my head right in the oven.
Bobbie Markowe: Oh Joanna! My new dress! How could you do a thing like that? Just when I was going to give you coffee! How could you do a thing like that? I thought we were friends! Just when I was going to... how could you do a thing like that... just when I was going to give you coffee! Oh Joanna... I thought we were friends... I thought we were friends... friends... coffee... how could you do a thing like that? Like that? Like that? Like that? Friends... friends...
Bobbie Markowe: I just don't get it. It's like there's this contest, okay? And the housewife with the cleanest house gets Robert Redford for Christmas... but nobody will tell the rules!
Bobbie Markowe: I'm also an ex-Gothamite, who's been living here in Ajax country for just over a month now, and I'm going crazy. You see doctor, my problem is that given complete freedom of choice, I don't WANT to squeeze the goddamn Charmin!
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