Rene: DICK.
Brodie: You two are retarded for each other.
Brodie: Look, if I had any kind of glow it's because I just got laid. I would look the same had I banged anyone in that elevator... present company excluded.
T.S. Quint: Deny it all you want. I think that you're too proud to admit that you want her back.
Brodie: I suddenly want something very bad to happen to you.
Brodie: There is something out there that can help us ease our simultanious double loss
T.S. Quint: What? Ritual suicide?
Brodie: No, you idiot, the fucking mall
T.S. Quint: I prefer ritual suicide
Brodie: Oh come on man it'll be great they have these new cookies at the cookie stand you have to try 'em they're awesome
Brodie: Hey, what's going on in there?
Steve-Dave Pulasti: I was warned about you. Take it easy before I have you removed from the mall.
Brodie: Warned? What the fuck are you talking about?
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Tell him, Steve-Dave.
Brodie: Fuck you, Fanboy.
T.S. Quint: Can you two testosterone-seething, he-man, comic book fans finish up with this display of tough guy back-and-forth? I have some questions that need answering.
Brodie: But you've had a lot of girls, right?
Stan Lee: Oh yeah. Mick Jagger and I had a running tally going. Last I checked I was way ahead.
T.S. Quint: I was going to propose to her.
Brodie: Where?
T.S. Quint: The Universal Tour.
Brodie: You're kidding. What part?
T.S. Quint: When Jaws popped out of the water.
Brodie: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
T.S. Quint: Too bad I'm not trying to marry you.
Tricia Jones: I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park. When are men going to learn that women want ROMANCE, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride...
Brodie: Hey, now, be fair. EVERYONE wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Brodie: [to Silent Bob] The force is strong with this one.
Jay: Dude, don't encourage him.
Brodie: Come on, this is the dirt mall. Cops don't come here.
T.S. Quint: Neither does any self-respecting consumer.
Brodie: Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
Brodie: Did you see that shit? You call that romance?
Rene: I call that illegal.
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