Jay: What's twistin' this bitches tit?
Justice: Maybe it's because girls don't like to be called bitches, Jay.
Jay: They don't? How 'bout fine piece of ass?
Justice: How 'bout not.
Jay: Then what the fuck am I supposed to call you?
Justice: Something sweet, ya big goof. Something nice.
Jay: Boo boo kitty fuck?
Justice: That's... a start.
Silent Bob's Mother: Bobby Boy, stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, kay? You be good.
Jay's Mother: Alright, don't you fuckin' move you little shit machine. Mommy's going to try to score.
Passerby: What the hell? 'Scuse me. Who's watchin these babies?
Jay's Mother: Uh - the fat one's watchin the little one?
Passerby: Oh yeah, nice parenting. Leave 'em out here like that and see what happens.
James Van Der Beek: Dude, you wouldn't last a day in the Creek.
Banky: God, I'm so embarrassed.
Hooper: You should be. They took your intellectual property and turned it into one 90-minute long gay joke. It was like watching "Batman & Robin" all over again.
Holden: Nights like this... I miss dating a lesbian.
Banky: Your friend's a fucking clown shoe, you know that?
Silent Bob: You know, after about five movies, I'm starting to realize that.
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Why can't Hollywood make a decent comic book movie?
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Tell 'em Steve-Dave.
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Would you stop saying that?
Matt Damon: Just take it from "It's a good course."
Ben Affleck: Oh, now you're the director.
Matt Damon: Hey shove it, Bounce-boy. Let's remember who talked who into doing this shit in the first place. Talking me into Dogma was one thing, but this...
Ben Affleck: Hey look, I'm sorry I dragged you away from whatever-gay-serial-killers-who-ride-horses-and-like-to-play-golf-touchy-feely-picture you're supposed to be doing this week.
Matt Damon: I take it you haven't seen Forces of Nature?
Ben Affleck: You're like a child. What've I been telling you? You gotta do the safe picture. Then you can do the art picture. But then sometimes you gotta do the payback picture because your friend says you owe him...And sometimes, you have to go back to the well.
Matt Damon: And sometimes, you do Reindeer Games.
Ben Affleck: See, that's just mean.
Randal Graves: See? I told you that restraining
Miramax Security Guard Gordon: Sorry to interrupt fellas, but we have a 10-07 on our hands.
Matt Damon: Ah Jesus, not again Ben.
Ben Affleck: Nah! That's bullshit because I wasn't with a hooker today! Ah ha!
James Van Der Beek: You actually watch that show?
Jay: Yeah, for Joey, man. She is too fine. Did you ever get to 3rd base with her?
James Van Der Beek: Well, actually there was this one time...
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