5 Person Special
Chiquita smiled at Karen, Cardiff, Quatre, Leeann, and Trunks, all of whom were standing right outside her door. Quatre stepped nervously into the room and plastered his back against the wall. Karen, Trunks, Leeann, and Cardiff all attempted to jump through the door at once. Leeann, who was on the top of the pile, yelled "Wee!" as her head brushed the top of the door frame. She had somehow managed to get on Trunks's shoulders. Trunks, however, had more on his mind than Leeann at the moment. Cardiff had an elbow locked into his ribs. Karen, somewhere at the bottom of the pile, moaned pititously.
Quatre giggled quietly at them. Chiquita's smile had been replaced with a tight lipped line and her eyes were narrowing more by the second. The four idiots eventually managed to squeeze through the door.
"Hi-ya, Trunks!" Leeann half-sang.
"Aah, fat human, much pain....owww," Trunks moaned as he sank to his knees. Chiquita and Cardiff burst into laughter. Leeann, wearing the scowl Chiquita had removed, slapped the back of Trunks's head, sending his lavender hair into disarray. He gave her a rebellious grin and helped her get off.
"Leeann: 0. Trunks: 1," Karen laughed weakly, as if she were keeping score at a sporting event.
"All...righty, then....people," Chiquita said slowly. "Sit."
Her patients obligied, although Trunks winked and Cardiff scoffed before doing so. There were a number of mismatched chairs in front of Chiquita that they seated themselves in.
"Okay, then, I'm going to administer the delicate practice of psychiatry upon you," Chiquita began, but she was cut off by Leeann and Karen, who cracked up. "Shut up, you two!" she screamed before hitching up her buisnesslike manner once more. "I will be talking to you indiviually and as a group..."
"On three," Trunks muttered as Chiquita droned on. Cardiff nodded inconspicuously. Karen, who was sitting between them, looked curiously at Trunks. His face was straight ahead and expressionless. Leeann, who was on Trunks' other side, seemed much too interested with Quatre to have noticed Trunks'words. Quatre was busy avoiding Leeann and listening to Chiquita.
"Now, I will begin. Remain sea--" Chiquita concluded.
"OnetwoTHREE!" Trunks hissed. He and Cardiff instantly levetated six inches into the air, still in seated positions.
"--ted, PLEASE!" Chiquita yelled.
"What do you mean?" Cardiff asked with an innocent-puppy look she aquired from Ryoko. "We are seated!"
"Sit in the freaking chair, Cardiff!" Chiquita bellowed.
"Nah, I think I like it up here," Cardiff replied with an evil grin.
"I don't mind the view," Leeann commented, shooting a meaningful glance at Karen and kissing the air in the general direction of Trunks' butt. Quatre gagged. Leeann ignored him.
"Trunks, Leeann enjoys your gluteous maximus," Karen literally called, although Trunks was only a couple inches away. Chiquita's eyes were narrowing again.
"All night long!" Leeann added.
Karen looked at her with a faked snooty and miffed expresion, saying airily, "What, you mean you laced his house with spy cameras as well?"
"Oh, YEAH, duh!" Leeann cheered. Chiquita's eyes were in danger of disappearing. Quatre gagged again.
"You are 'innocent', huh?" Karen directed to Quatre.
"Excuse me," Chiquita said icily, "I believe I am the one asking questions. Karen, I shall honor your request and begin with Quatre." Everyone stared at her. Cardiff was so distracted, she stopped concentrating. Her buttocks hit the chair with a "WHOMP".
"I belive that Karen called you innocent, Quatre. Do you think she's right?" Chiquita continued. Quatre got a pained look in his eyes.
"How can anyone be innocent if they have killed another person? How can anyone like that be innocent?" he cried.
"Not easily," Karen began, "but that's--"
"Raise your hand," Chiquita demanded coldly.
"EVER BEEN TO A DANCE?" Karen yelled. "EVER DREAMED ABOUT A GIRL? EVER SEEN AN R MOVIE?" Trunks hit the chair, making the exact same noise as Cardiff had earlier. The silence was deafening.
"Would anyone esle like to say something?" Chiquita asked in a small voice.
"I like pickles," Cardiff contributated.
"THANK YOU, Cardiff," Chiquita replied.
"What does pickles have to do with anything?" Quatre muttered.
"What do pickles have to do with anything," Karen corrected automatically.
Leeann yawned widely. "Tell someone who cares, Karen."
"Anyone gots any Coke?" Cardiff asked lazily. Leeann raised her hand.
"I do!" she giggled. Karen gave Leeann a very strange expression.
"Where, Leeann, where? Inquiring minds want to know," Karen said warily. Trunks snorted but instantly turned his laughter into a hacking cough.
"Or maybe they don't," Cardiff added, with a O_o face.
"Oh, good mother of meatballs," Chiquita moaned, laying her head down on the dask. "Why me? Why me?"
"Because we love you, that's why," Cadiff said absentmindedly.
In response, Chiquita shouted to her desktop, "Then humor me!!"
Karen's face fell. "Oh, ok," she sighed. "Leeann, sittdoawn and shuttup for a minute." Obedinently, but with some dark muttering, Leeann sat and zipped her lip. Trunks turned his attention back to Chiquita. Quarte sighed in relief.
Chiquita's purple eyes scanned her victims.