Cherry Blossom’s Muse goes on Vacation
Cherry Blossom: What a beautiful day. I think I’ll write a story to post on the net. <Sits down at computer. Opens Microsoft Word. Clicks on Blank Document.>
Now what should I write about? Let’s see…I could write about…no, that’s a stupid idea. How about…no, that’s no good. AAARRRRRRGGGHH!!! Why can’t I think of anything to write? What happened to my muse?
Computer: You’ve got mail!
Cherry Blossom: <checks mail>
Dear Cherry Blossom,
My cousin has invited me to his beach house in Florida so I have flown up there for the week. Don’t worry. I left you a replacement muse. See you in a week.
Your Muse
Great, just great. My muse has gone off to Florida. I wonder who my replacement muse is?
Matteo: Ta da! It’s me, Matteo.
Cherry Blossom: You can’t be a muse. You’re just one of my crazy made-up characters.
Matteo: <pouts> I can so be a muse.
Cherry Blossom: <sighs> Fine, so do you have any ideas for a story?
Matteo: How about a Dragon Ball Z fic. I like DBZ.
Cherry Blossom: Okay, who’s it going to be about?
Matteo: Umm…how about Gohan and Picolo?
<Gohan and Picolo appear out of nowhere looking extremely confused. Well…. Gohan looks confused. Picolo looks annoyed>
Matteo: They could be sparring….
<Gohan and Picolo get into fighting positions>
Matteo: Suddenly, Gohan goes in for a kick and….uh….well….
Cherry Blossom: Well what? What happens next?
Matteo: Let me think.
Gohan: Excuse me but is this going to take all day? I can’t hold this pose forever and I have homework to do.
Picolo: Yeah, hurry up. I was busy training before you people interrupted me and brought me here.
Matteo: I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want Picolo and Gohan in this fic.
<Picolo and Gohan disappear>
Matteo: Let’s do a Vegeta and Bulma fic.
<A very naked Vegeta and Bulma appear>
Bulma: What’s going on?
Vegeta: Who the hell teleported us here? If this is Kakarotto’s sick idea of a joke I’ll beat the living s--- out of him.
Cherry Blossom: Hey, watch your language. I want this to be a family fic.
Bulma: Who are you?
Vegeta: Who cares who they are? Listen you, if you don’t send us back right now you are dead, got me?
Cherry Blossom: Matteo!
Matteo: Okay, okay. No Vegeta and Bulma fic.
<Vegeta and Bulma disappear>
Matteo: Let’s try someone a bit less lethal. How about a Goku fic.
<Goku appears with a very confused look on his face>
Goku: How did I get here? Maybe I can teleport myself without even knowing it. Weird.
Matteo: Perfect. Now we can have Goku try to--hey where did he go?
<Goku is off chasing a butterfly>
Matteo: Goku! Pay attention.
<Goku stands still and looks at his feet>
Matteo: Now we’re gonna have you fight some aliens—
Goku: Aliens? Where? Lemme at them!
Matteo: Calm down. Cherry Blossom has to write an introduction setting first.
Goku: Who is Cherry Blossom? Is she an alien?
Cherry Blossom: I am not an alien! I’m the author.
Goku: The author of what?
Cherry Blossom: The story.
Goku: What story?
Cherry Blossom: The story you are appearing in now.
Goku: I’m in a story?
Cherry Blossom: Matteo!
Matteo: Okay, this isn’t working. Let’s have Chi Chi instead of Goku.
<Goku disappears and Chi Chi appears where Goku was standing holding her trademark frying pan>
Chi Chi: What am I doing here? I’m supposed to be making supper for Gohan. It will burn if I don’t take it off the stove quickly. You put me back in my kitchen right now young man. <Thwaps the frying pan threateningly against her palm and glares at Matteo>
Matteo: <gulps> Yes ma’am. No fics about Chi Chi.
<Chi Chi disappears>
Cherry Blossom: Now what am I supposed to do? You haven’t given me a single character let alone a plot.
Matteo: Just give me a sec. Hey, do you suppose Bulma and Vegeta are finished by now?
<A still naked Bulma and Vegeta appear looking very upset>
Vegeta: That’s the second time you’ve interrupted me. <Turns SSJ> Now you die. <Chases Matteo around the room>
Matteo: <gasps while running> No more Vegeta and Bulma fics.
<Vegeta and Bulma disappear>
Cherry Blossom: Maybe I just shouldn’t write this week.
Matteo: Come on! It’s not my fault the characters aren’t cooperating. Let’s bring Goku back here.
<Goku reappears>
Goku: I gotta stop doing that. I could teleport myself off a cliff or something.
Cherry Blossom: But Goku’s so stupid.
Matteo: I know! We could make him really smart for a day!
Cherry Blossom: What a good idea. But how are we going to do that?
Matteo: How about if he drinks a bunch of those IQ enhancing drinks I’ve seen advertised?
Cherry Blossom: Wow Matteo! You are actually thinking of good story ideas.
Matteo: <smirks like Vegeta> See, I told you I could be a muse. Now if only we could just get Master Roshi in a dress…
Cherry Blossom: Let’s not get carried away.
Matteo: What about Picolo in a dress?
Cherry Blossom: Matteo!
The End (or is it the beginning?)
Disclaimer alert: I DON"T OWN DBZ OR IT’S CHARACTERS!!! There. I feel better now that that’s off my chest. Oh yeah, I don’t own Microsoft (duh) or its products either so if you were planning on suing me for mentioning them you’re out of luck. Just for the record, I don’t own Florida or those IQ drinks either.
Author’s Note: This is what happens when I get writer’s block. The story about Goku being smart for a day will be out as soon as I can think of an ending. In the meantime you’ll just have to imagine what kind of hijinks ensue. Please give me your opinions about my writing. I love getting reviews. Even bad ones. It lets me know that people are at least reading my stories even if they don’t like them. Until next time. Konbanwan kiddies.