Hiyee Minna! Okay so this isn’t a lemon. Sorry Sab-chan. But I wanted to expand my er…Horizons. I’ll come up with another lemon soon okay, happy hentai people? In the meantime this is a very, I repeat VERY angsty fic about DuoxHilde. But mostly Duo. And of course it has a song because I cannot write without one (duh). The Moffets, yay! ^__^ I love those guys. Depressing, depressing, kinda gory. You know, blood and stuff. I dunno. Read and review anyway.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing. *sob* Do you have to rub it in?

 Just Another Phase

"Get up!" Hilde shook her head in disgust and threw a pillow at Duo, which he dodged half-heartedly. "You’ve been sitting on that couch for days. You need to get up, go outside, and get some air, before you turn into a statue. I swear you don’t even blink anymore. What’s wrong with you? Are you even listening to me?"

Duo’s eyes never left the t.v. The characters on the screen went about their own fictional lives, laughing and loving and fighting; totally oblivious to the pain and suffering that was going on in the real world. Duo envied them.

"Would you just talk to me? I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong. Is it me? Did I do something to make you upset? Duo, talk to me! God, just say something!"

Duo’s mouth remained shut. Hilde stood looking at him for a few moments before sighing and leaving the room. Duo waited until he heard her bedroom door slam shut before allowing his eyes to fill with tears.

‘She doesn’t understand. No one understands. This is how it’s got to be for me. I can’t talk to her. I can’t talk to anyone. I can’t let her inside of me. I would just disgust her. I already disgust her.’ Duo buried his face in the pillow Hilde had thrown at him and tried to steady his now shaky breathing. "No, not again…"

The voices were back. And the visions, always the same. The church. The blood. Rivers and rivers of blood. It soaked the ground, soaked the grass, slicked over his skin. The blood was everywhere.

The blood covered him. All over him, all over the ground, all over…….the body.

"No…"

The body. Twisted. Unaturel. Dead. And he knew it, knew the body.

"Father Maxwell! No!"

Another body. This one was female. Also familiar, and cover in blood.

"Sister Helen! Father Maxwell! Nooooooo!"

You killed them. It’s your fault. Murderer.

"Please, no…"

The bodies were coming faster now. Piling higher. Filing past Duo, their dead, twisted faces frozen in an absurd grin, the blood creating patterns on their skin. They reached their hands out too Duo, reaching for him. Reaching…

"Stop! Please, I didn’t mean to…oh god, please make it stop!"

A face. A living face. Smiling….alive.

"Hilde!"

Duo ran to her and flung himself into her arms. Her embrace. Her flesh was warm. She was alive.

"Hilde, I love you."

She smiled and pulled him closer. And then something changed. Hilde stopped smiling. Her eyes became glazed and her mouth dropped open in a soundless scream.

"Hilde?"

Blood. It dripped from her mouth, soaked through her clothes, pooled on the ground. Bright and red and wet.

"No, Hilde!"

Hilde slipped to the ground, silently, her eyes open and unseeing. Duo fell down beside her and grasped her shoulders.

"Hilde!"

Cold. She was so cold. Dead.

"HILDE! NOOOO!!!"

Duo’s eyes snapped open and he sat bolt upright on the couch. The canned laughter coming from the t.v. set calmed the frantic pounding of his heart and he breathed deeply, trying to control the tremors of fear that were shaking his body. When he felt that he could stand without his legs giving way beneath him, Duo made his way to the kitchen. He opened the fridge door and let the cool blast of air clear his head. His eyes searched the racks for the one thing he knew would bring him release, at least for a little while. His hand grasped a familiar bottle and he pulled its cap off hastily, drinking deeply of its contents. He winced as the bitter taste of the alcohol filled his mouth and swallowed it quickly. ‘It’s funny. I’ve never been one for drinking. Now it seems like I can’t do anything else…’

Duo cradled the bottle in his arms and wandered on unsteady legs to his bedroom. On his way there he passed the door of Hilde’s room. From inside he could here her muffled sobs and the guilt nearly tore him in two. He paused, wondering if he should go in and explain his actions to her. Then he looked down at the bottle he had gripped in his hand and sneered. ‘Yeah, right. She doesn’t need you screwing up her life with your pathetic problems, Maxwell. Just leave her alone. If you want to help her you should just leave’. But Duo couldn’t leave. Not now. He was too weak and he knew it. ‘What would you do, Yuy?’

"Hey, birthday girl! Want some breakfast?"

Duo stirred a bowl of pancake mix and pasted a cheerful smile on his face. He was determined not to upset Hilde today. After all, it was her birthday. And she didn’t deserve to have to deal with his problems today. Hilde seemed a little surprised at his exuberance. Lately he had been so moody and quiet that she thought about calling Quatre to see if he knew what was going on with the braided pilot of Deathscythe.

"Sure, Duo. Those pancakes look great! I didn’t know you could cook."

Duo shrugged and motioned for Hilde to sit down.

"I’m just full of hidden talents."

"I’ll bet."

Duo’s eyes sparkled and a little of his old self started to emerge.

"Oh yeah? And what’s that supposed to mean? Huh, little miss?"

Duo poked Hilde with the butt of his spoon making her squeal and swat his arm affectionately. Duo smiled his classic devil-may-care grin and Hilde melted.

"There’s that smile that I missed so much," Hilde murmured as she put her arms around Duo’s neck.

Duo smiled wider and pulled her in closer for a kiss. Their lips were almost touching until…

"No!"

Duo pulled away and covered his face with his hands. Hilde drew back in shock.

"Duo! What’s wrong?"

"Just get away from me, Hilde," Duo growled.

"But—"

"DAMN YOU! GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Tears ran down Hilde’s face and she fled from the house, sobbing. After she had gone Duo collapsed into a chair and lowered his face to his hands. His head throbbed horrible and the images still danced in front of his eyes.

Hilde turned the key in the lock and opened the door silently. She entered the darkened house, stepping over the mess that littered the floor of the living room. Duo lay on the couch, fast asleep with the remote control still clutched in his hand. Hilde pried it from his fingers and turned off the t.v. Duo frowned in his sleep at the sudden silence and shifted his position. Hilde saw the empty bottle pressed close to his side. She let out a choked sob and tears burned the corners of her eyes. ‘Why is he doing this? Why won’t he talk to me?’ Ever since he’d come back from that last mission he’d been so moody, so…depressed. Yes, depressed. It seemed so strange. Hilde had never known Duo to be depressed about anything. He was the one that was always laughing, always optimistic. Hilde reached out a finger to trace the line of Duo’s face. "God, Duo," she whispered. "What’s wrong with you?"

Blood. So much blood. He couldn’t breath. There was too much blood. He was drowning in it. The church, the ruins, the fire. Bodies everywhere. They haunted him. They reached for him. The wanted him so badly.

"Stay away from me! I’m warning you…"

Duo fought off a pair of hands and tried to press his way through the ring of bodies. But there were too many. They latched on to him, dragging him down into a river of blood.

"No!"

Duo woke with a start. His body was soaked with cold sweat and his breathing was ragged. I’ve got to get out of here.

Duo shuddered as the wind bit into his skin and pulled his coat closer. He had been walking for ages in the dark alleyways of the city. Not the safest place to be at 1 in the morning but Duo wasn’t worried about getting mugged. In fact he was kinda hoping that some punk would try it so he could get a chance to vent. He chuckled mirthlessly. "Great, Maxwell. You run away to escape from visions of blood only to end up looking for someone to kill. Fucking brilliant." Duo sighed and looked around. A neon sign beckoned and the promise of oblivion drew him into the smoky dimness of the bar.

Whoa. Well that ended on a happy note…..NOT! Guess that means I need a sequel so we can all find out what the hell’s wrong with Duo. ‘S good question. I don’t even know. Now that I’m all depressed…..I’m going to go find me a nice lemon fic. Review people. Jaa!!