::Jump in let’s go
Sit back enjoy the show::
Hilde sat on the edge of the chair and balanced her elbows on the bed frame.
"Well. Are you going to talk to me or do I have to make you?"
Duo turned his face to the wall and snorted, "There’s nothing to talk about. We’re finished Hilde. That’s all. Goodbye."
Hilde bit her bottom lip and tried to smile though the words stabbed at her cruelly.
"I know you don’t mean that, Duo."
"No you don’t. You don’t know anything about me Hilde."
::There are miles to go
There are miles to go::
This pissed Hilde off. "Well how am I supposed to figure out stuff if you don’t TELL me? You never talk to me Duo! I had to learn from Quatre that you were captured last mission."
Duo’s eyes widened in fear and his muscles tensed. "What did Quatre say?"
"Nothing. He just told me you were captured for a few hours and they got you out."
Duo relaxed visibly and closed his eyes in relief. Hilde watched him and her voice softened.
"What didn’t you tell me, Duo?"
"Because it didn’t matter."
"It matters to me! I care about you, Duo. Anything that happens to you matters to me. I love you—"
"Don’t say that," Duo interrupted. "Just don’t say that Hilde. You don’t know what you’re getting into."
Hilde sighed and reached out a hand to brush the hair out of his eyes, a gesture she had become accustomed to over the years. She winced when he shied away from her touch.
"Then why don’t you tell me? I want to know, Duo. I want to know everything about you."
Duo let out a harsh sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "You want to know? Fine. Sit down and I’ll tell you a story."
::This could be the night
The only night
But something you should know::
My first memories are of stowing away on a shuttle to L2 colony when I was seven. I don’t remember my parents. I don’t know what happened to them. I’ve always been alone. I was staying on V08744. It was a poor place to grow up. Most of the residents were impoverished immigrants from all over the Earth. The people there hated the federation and there was an awful lot of fighting in the colony, which left behind a lot of abandoned buildings, as well as orphans like me. I was like Trowa in a way. I didn't have a name and I was on my own. I stole to keep alive but I wasn’t very good at it. One day I was almost caught but some kid named Solo helped me out and he took me in. Solo was the leader of a whole group of orphans. He taught me how to steal, how to survive. He was my best friend. Solo was infected with a virus that was burning its way through the entire colony. A vaccine had been discovered, but those pompous bureaucrats saw no reason to distribute it to the poor or homeless. I snuck into a hospital and stole some of the vaccine but I was too late. Solo died because I wasn’t fast enough. Before he died, Solo told me that even after he died, he would always be with me. I told him that if he was with me then we’ll become Duo. I thought I would die from the virus as well but I didn’t even get sick. I took over being the leader of the group for Solo but we didn’t get very far. The Federation tore down the abandoned building we were living in. Father Maxwell and the kind people of Maxwell Church took us all in. They fed us and gave us clothes. They cared for us. Sister Helen…
Duo’s voice broke slightly and he stopped for a minute. Hilde just sat silently, squeezing his hand to give him encouragement.
Sister Helen was one of the nuns. She was always trying to cut my hair, but I was real stubborn about it. One day she got fed up with me and braided it instead. I didn’t mind. If it was braided it wouldn’t get in my way when I stole stuff.Duo fingered his braid thoughtfully and continued.
We were sent to a Federation-run school, which was normally for children of military personnel. I didn’t get along with the military brats. They were always making fun of me because I was an orphan. The next year, there was another uprising, turning the colony into a battlefield once more. Maxwell church became a makeshift hospital for the wounded for the resistance fighters that had made it their base. One of the resistance leaders decided that they needed an MS. I just wanted them to leave us alone. I told them that I would steal an MS for them if they would just leave the church. They told me that I couldn’t do it but I knew that I could. I managed to steal a Leo and I was bringing it back to the church when…Duo fell silent once more. His breathing was harsh and it looked like he was holding back tears.
The church was completely destroyed. Everything…Father Maxwell, Sister Helen. It was all my fault. Because I stole the suit. They all died because of me.Hilde looked like she wanted to say something but she kept silent.
"I decided that from that moment on I would call myself Shinigami, The God of Death, because everywhere I went an ugly death would follow. I jumped at the chance to pilot Deathscythe. I reveled in the killing. I became death itself. And I never let anyone get close to me. Except you, Hilde. I let you get under my skin and now you’re going to pay the price for it. You’re going to die, just like everyone else I’ve ever loved. Are you happy now? Are you satisfied?"::I don’t want you to want me
Cause I’ll hurt you in the end
I don’t need you to need me
Tonight I’ll hold you tight
But I won’t come back again
Come back again::
Tears were now streaming openly down Duo’s face and he was making a futile effort to wipe them away. Hilde regarded him sadly for a minute before speaking.
"Duo, I love you. But I swear sometimes you can be so STUPID."
Duo’s head shot up and he glared at her.
"What did you say?"
Hilde shook her head. "Duo how old were you when Solo died? Eight? You were only a kid! You tried the best you could to save him. You didn’t create the virus. You didn’t hold back distribution to the poor. You-didn’t-kill-Solo! Got it? YOU DIDN’T KILL HIM! IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT! Am I getting through here?"
Duo refused to look at her.
Hilde sighed and ran her finger through her hair. "I’ll tell you something else too. The massacre at Maxwell Church wasn’t your fault either. Think about it! The resistance leaders didn’t believe you when you told them you could steal an MS did they? No one would believe that a kid could steal an MS, would they? How could someone realize that you were taking their Mobile Suit, figure out who you were, and organize an attack party to completely destroy the church before you got back? They couldn’t! There’s just no way. So the attack must have been planned before you left to get the suit. It-wasn’t-your-fault! Do you get what I’m saying?"
Duo shook his head in shock. He couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t believe it. All that pain. All those years. How could they not be his fault? This was his sin. This was the baggage he had to carry around. It wasn’t possible that he was suffering for nothing.
Hilde saw his disbelief and decided that this called for drastic measures.
"You did say one thing that was true. I am going to die. And it’s you who is killing me."
That startled Duo. His eyes went wide and the breath seemed to freeze in his throat.
"Hilde, what do you mean?
Hilde looked into Duo’s violet eyes and said,
"I love you. I’m never going to stop loving you. And every time you push me away, every time you say you don’t love me, every time you tell me good bye I die a little inside. You’re killing me slowly with your words. If you leave me for good I will die. In the end, I’ll be just as dead as if you’d of shot me full of bullets. That’s the way it is."
Duo was speechless. He’d never thought about it that way. If I’m killing Hilde by keeping her away…then maybe we should be together. But—no that’s wrong, she wouldn’t be safe. I have to keep her safe. The curse, remember the curse. But she said she would die anyway…Oh I’m so confused!
Duo was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t see Hilde leave her chair and approach him. He didn’t see her lean towards him but he did feel it when her arms went around his neck.
"Hilde, I—"
"Shh," Hilde said, putting a finger to his lips. "Don’t say anything. Just let me hold you. Please, Duo? I need you now."
::Don’t think it’s wrong
I just need somebody
And life goes on
And life goes on::
"But Hilde I—mmmph," Duo’s protest was muffled by Hilde’s lips and he soon forgot what he was about to say. Her mouth was so warm and alive. It was what Duo imagined heaven would be like. All warmth and light and sweet…
We can’t do this. But it feels so right. And I need her, God, I need her so much. Maybe, only for tonight, I can forget about Shinigami and just be Duo Maxwell.Duo took control of the kiss, pressing his mouth against Hilde’s with greater intensity, slipping his tongue inside when she opened to him. His hands reached up to wander over her back, rubbing in slow, seductive circles. The effect was intoxicating. Hilde moaned against his mouth and arched against him, wanting him more in that moment then she had ever wanted anything in her life.
::So stay with me tonight
This only night
Don’t forget you know
I don’t want you to want me
Cause I’ll hurt you in the end
I don’t need you to need me
Tonight I’ll hold you tight
But I won’t come back again::
What little remained of Duo’s rationality excused itself and left the room when Hilde pressed herself against him. He hadn’t felt her touch in so long, made love to her in so long….it was too much. Something in Duo snapped and he grabbed Hilde around the waist and pulled her down with him on the bed, yanking at her clothes as he went. Hilde gasped at his vehemence and then moaned as he tossed her sweater to the floor and began running his hot hands over her revealed flesh. Duo teased her nipples through her bra, rubbing the cloth between his thumb and forefingers, smiling when they became hard almost immediately. He removed the bra and took one of her erect buds into his mouth, continuing to fondle the other one with his hands. Hilde closed her eyes and panted desperately as he licked and suckled at her breast.
"Du~oooooh!!"
Duo’s free hand traveled to the waist of her pants and pulled them down, slowly. Then he started to work on her panties, pausing only to brush his fingers against the wetness of her sex. Hilde whimpered at his touch and her hips bucked instinctively against his hands. Duo grinned and whispered, "Ya like that, Hilde? Of course ya do. You want more, don’t you babe? You want more?"
Duo’s grin widened at Hilde’s nod and he obligingly dipped his head down and proceeded to lick her clean. Hilde writhed and moaned, gasping as he brought her to the edge…..and then pulled away.
"Duo…" Hilde growled.
Duo smiled down at her, taking in the way she looked, the taste of her on his lips.
Hilde pouted and tugged at Duo’s shirt.
"It’s no fair. You still have all your clothes."
Duo laughed and allowed her to pull his shirt off and throw it to the floor. Hilde ran her fingers briefly over Duo’s chest before moving on to divest him of the rest of his clothing. My Duo Maxwell. Mine. Hilde thought as she licked her lips at the sight of him.
"You know," Duo commented. "A nurse or doctor or something could walk in here at any minute and catch us."
"I don’t care," Hilde hissed as she bent down to take Duo’s erection in her mouth. Duo groaned and threw his head back, panting her name as she began to stroke him with her tongue and create a suction around him with her lips. Duo could feel the tension within himself building and he almost lost it when Hilde bit down lightly on the head. He pulled away from her and flipped her so that she was now lying beneath him.
"Hilde…" his tone asked a question.
"Yes," she whispered back, reaching up with her arms to pull him down into her. Duo positioned himself at her entrance and thrust deep inside of her, gentleness giving way to raw need as he slamming himself down again and again. Hilde moved with him, bucking her hips upwards in rhythm with his thrusts as she called his name over and over. Dimly, in the back of her mind, Hilde wished for the chance to go on like this forever…
::Stay with me tonight
This only night
Don’t forget you know
I don’t want you to want me
Cause I’ll hurt you in the end
I don’t need you to need me
Tonight I’ll hold you tight
But I won’t come back again
Come back again::
Quatre stood guard at the door to Duo’s room, making sure no one would enter unexpectedly. He had heard the noises coming from inside and guessed immediately what was going on. He smiled broadly and thought, I see that Hilde’s gotten through to him, if only temporarily. I just hope it lasts. Quatre’s smile grew wider and he turned to explain to a rather puzzled and innocent-looking young nurse exactly why no one could come into Duo’s room at the moment. Even if it was extremely important.
Well, there it is. The end. *sob* Boooooooooooooh ;_;. I feel all sad now. Review so I can feel better ^__^
Jaa neeeeee!!!
Cherry Blossom