Betcha thought I wasn’t gonna finish it ‘cause only three people reviewed the last one. Well I AM gonna finish it SO THERE! Nya nya. Just because I didn’t want to leave

Lara Winner, liz cando, and sabacat (the only ones who REVIEWED) hanging. And cause I was reeeeaaaaaalllllllllllly bored. And in a lot of pain. Dentist. Owie ;_;

NEway, this is also a song fic because I’M OBSSESSED WITH SONGS!! This song is by Third Eye Blind. I think the writers were actually some guys named Jenkins and Cadogan but I’m not sure. The only important thing to remember is that I OWN NOTHING except the ::cough::pathetic::cough:: plot. So read. And review, dammit.

Song lyrics are in these thingies ::la, la I’m a song lyric, la::

HOW'S IT GOING TO BE

"What the hell is wrong with you? Answer me!"

"Just stay out of my life Hilde. I don’t need you always hanging off me. Just leave me alone! I don’t love you. I never loved you. You make me sick. Just go away. Do you understand? GO AWAY!"

Hilde shook all over. Her knees trembled and she had to hold on to the back of a chair for support. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked with disbelief at the man she thought she knew.

::I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore,

Before you take a swing, I wonder what are we fighting for,

When I say out loud, I want to get out of this, I wonder,

Is there anything I'm going to miss::

Hilde tried to think back to what she’d said to make him so upset. All she did was ask him if he’d gotten any of the paperwork done yet and he just blew up at her; asked her if she thought that he was lazy and when she denied it, he called her all sorts of horrible names.

"Duo, please tell me why you’re so angry."

Duo whirled around to face her, the fury on his face making her wince.

"Why? Because I can’t stand you, Hilde."

Duo took two menacing steps towards Hilde and fastened one, strong hand around her neck, creating a slight pressure. Hilde trembled under his harsh touch, frightened.

"I can’t stand to be around you. Is that so difficult to accept? So impossible for your tiny brain to register? I don’t want you. So why don’t you just leave?"

Something in Hilde snapped. She glared at Duo and replied in a cold voice.

"Because this is my house you asshole. So if anyone should leave it’s you."

Duo’s hand left her throat. Hilde slid to the floor, rubbing her sore neck. Duo regarded her sadly and he seemed to pause for a moment, as if regretting his actions. Hilde held her breath.

"Fine," Duo snarled. "I’m leaving. Good bye Hilde."

Duo turned and briskly walked out the front door, leaving Hilde alone on the kitchen floor.

::How's it going to be, When you don't know me,

How's it going to be, When you're sure I'm not there,

How's it going to be, When there is no one there to talk to about,

How it's going to be, 'Cause I don't care,

How's it going to be,::

Duo walked down the street towards the seedy bar he had been frequenting. Although the night was warm he found himself unable to stop shivering.

Memories of Hilde’s tearstained face and the fear in her eyes when he had wrapped his hands around her neck stabbed at his heart like knives.

Duo arrived at the bar. He looked up at the garish, neon light; the only indication that the dark building was even open, and ran his shaky fingers through his hair. Inside was the only thing that could make him forget. Duo smiled at the promise of oblivion and opened the door.

***********************************************************************

Hilde still sat on the kitchen floor, unable to move or even comprehend what had just happened. The silence of the house seemed to suffocate her and words flitted through her erratic thoughts.

Gone/Duo/hate/go away/just leave/make me sick/sick/Duo/don’t love you/leave me alone/sick/Hilde/leave/why/gone/gone/gone/good bye/

::Where we used to laugh, There's a shouting match,

Sharp as a thumbnail scratch,

A silence I can't ignore::

The ring of the phone brought her back to reality. Hilde stood slowly and made her way to the phone.

"Hello?"

The too cheery voice of a salesman filled her ears.

"Hi! My name is David Walsh and I’m with Coortman’s vacuum cleaners. I was wondering if you’d be interested in—"

"No."

"But I—"

"I said NO. Are you hard of hearing or something? No I do not want to buy a stupid vacuum cleaner, okay? Just leave me alone!"

Hilde slammed the phone down and covered her face with her hands. Everything was wrong, wrong, wrong. Duo was gone. Duo had left. Duo didn’t love her anymore. Duo hated her. Hilde sat down on the floor and cried. She had never felt so alone. So completely destroyed. Harsh, choking sobs tore themselves from her throat and the world disappeared in a blur of tears.

************************************************************************

Quatre walked down the darkened street, searching for the address Hilde had given him. A sudden noise made him stiffen with fear and he wished, for a moment, that he had asked Trowa or Heero to come with him. But after a few tense moments Quatre decided that the noise was probably a cat or something and it was foolish to be scared.

Quatre continued walking, counting off the numbers of the houses in his head.

There it was. Hilde and Duo’s house. Quatre sighed and observed the dark building.

Quatre shook his head sternly.

Quatre walked up the driveway. A sudden pain stabbed in his chest and Quatre clutched it in surprise.

Quatre ran to the door with a feeling of dread.

************************************************************************

Hilde heard a pounding at the door. She ignored it.

"Hilde? Hilde! It’s Quatre. Let me in!"

Hilde had called Quatre yesterday and asked him if he could come over and try to find out what was wrong with Duo.

"Just go away, Quatre. I don’t want to see anybody."

The pounding on the door stopped.

"Hilde! Are you okay? Something’s wrong, I can feel it! Why won’t you let me in?"

Hilde wiped at her eyes, furiously and yelled back, "Godammit Quatre, just leave me alone!"

Silence. Hilde breathed a sigh of relief and closed her eyes.

The sound of the doorknob turning caught her attention.

::Like...the hammocks and the doorways we spent time in, Swing empty,

don't see lightning like last fall when it was always about to hit me,

I guess that is how it's going to be::

The door swung open and a concerned Quatre rushed to Hilde’s side. He looked at her swollen, tear-stained face and reached out a hand to brush against her cheek.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"You wouldn’t be crying if it was nothing. Did something happen with Duo? Is he okay?"

At the mention of Duo’s name Hilde burst into fresh tears and she clutched at Quatre’s sleeve.

"He’s gone! H-he left me. He said he d-didn’t love me any m-more."

Quatre’s eyes widened in shock.

"Oh, Hilde. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. Duo loves you more than anything in the whole world."

"No he doesn’t. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t love anybody. He’s incapable of love. I was a fool to think that he could ever want to be with me. I’m so stupid!"

::How's it going to be

When you don't know me, any more

How's it going to be::

Hilde sniffled and bit her lip, hard, to keep from crying out. Quatre hunted around in his pockets and passed a handkerchief to Hilde. She accepted it wordlessly and blew her nose.

"Hilde, you’re not stupid," Quatre sighed. "And Duo does love you very much. You’re all he can talk about. Whenever we get together it’s always ‘Hilde’ this and ‘Hilde’ that. You’re always on his mind. Trust me. He didn’t mean it."

"Then why did he leave?" asked Hilde.

Quatre shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

"I don’t know. But I’m going to find out. Do you know where he might have gone?"

Hilde avoided Quatre’s eyes.

"He might have gone to Finnagin’s."

Quatre frowned, puzzled.

"What’s Finnagin’s?"

Hilde sighed, "It’s a bar."

"But Duo doesn’t drink!"

"He does now," Hilde indicated the empty green bottle still lying on the floor where Duo had tossed it. "He’s not himself. That’s why I called you, Quatre."

Quatre stood up, a determined look on his face.

"Tell me where this Finnagin’s place is."

************************************************************************

Duo sat at the bar, nursing his fifth drink. So far it hadn’t helped like usual. He could still se Hilde’s tearstained face when he closed his eyes. And the screams of the dead still rang in his ears. Duo threw back his head and gulped the last of his drink down. He winced as the brandy burned the back of his throat. This isn’t working. I need to forget and I need to forget NOW.

::Want to get myself back in again,

The soft dive of oblivion.

Want to taste the salt of your skin

The soft dive of oblivion::

"Hey, buddy. You look like shit."

Duo turned to the seedy looking guy with the raspy voice who had decided to sit down next to him.

"Thanks."

"Don’t mention it. Women problems?"

Duo glared at the man. "Look pal, I don’t feel much like talking if ya get my drift."

The man held up his hands in a defensive gesture.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry."

Duo’s eyes went back to his empty glass.

"’S’okay. Hey bartender! I need another one of these over here."

The bartender refilled Duo’s glass and he took another swig of brandy, hoping maybe this one would make him forget…

"Hey buddy, sorry to intrude but you look like you could use some peace."

The raspy voice cut into Duo’s thoughts again and he turned to glare at the man beside him once more.

"Yeah, some peace and quiet would be nice," he said pointedly.

The man chuckled.

"No I mean peace of mind. You look like you need to forget something."

Duo’s eyes widened.

"Yes. Yes, I want to forget."

The man beckoned Duo closer and handed him a small box.

"I got something here that will make you forget quicker than that brandy will. I call it peace of mind."

Duo looked at the package in his hand dully.

"You mean drugs," he said in a flat voice.

"Hey, I’m not making you take ‘em or anything. I’m just sayin’ that if you want to forget, this is the way to do it."

Duo swallowed some more brandy and considered his options.

Duo shut his eyes briefly and the image of Hilde lying in a pool of blood flashed in his mind. It was so vivid that his eyes snapped open almost instantly and he gasped.

"Hey buddy, you okay?"

"I’m fine," Duo said, turning back to the man. "How much do you want for these?"

************************************************************************

Hilde sat in her room, waiting for Quatre to come back. Her thoughts were scattered, nervous. Do I want Quatre to find Duo? Do I want to have him back? I don’t know anymore. He said he didn’t love me. He isn’t the person I fell in love with. I don’t know what to do. Please, somebody tell me what to do. Hilde clutched one of her pillows and buried her face in its softness, remembering the first night she and Duo spent together in this bed. It was her first time and she had been so nervous. But Duo was very gentle with her and she had ended up begging for his touch in the end. She remembered how he had held her all through the night and kissed her awake in the morning. She remembered his touch, his voice, his eyes, his body. She remembered him. And she knew that no matter what happened she would always love him. Even if he doesn’t love me anymore.

The jarring ring of the telephone brought Hilde to her feet in seconds. She scrambled to the phone and pushed the buttons on the vid-screen frantically. Quatre’s image wavered and then stabilized. He didn’t look happy.

"Quatre! What’s wrong? Did you find Duo?"

Quatre avoided Hilde’s eyes. "I found him Hilde."

"Where is he? Is he coming back? Quatre!"

Quatre sighed deeply. "Hilde, we’re at McMaster Hospital."

"What are you doing there?"

"I found Duo not to far from the bar you described. He had collapsed on the street. I took him to the hospital…"

Hilde was already running out the door, collecting her car keys as she went.

Duo, you baka. What have you done?

::How's it going to be, When you don't know me,

How's it going to be, When you're sure I'm not there,

How's it going to be, When there is no one there to talk to about,

How it's going to be, 'Cause I don't care,

How's it going to be,::

Dun, dun, DUN. Okay….cliffhanger. Hey, it’s not my fault! I just couldn’t write anymore tonight. It’s really late and I need my beauty sleep. Sorry Sab-chan ^__^ But hey, maybe this will encourage you to get some more Spoils of War out, hmmmmmm?

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…er…..ehem. And for all of you waiting for the next episode of Crappy Poem Theater………..I’M WORKING ON IT, DAMMIT! And thanks to everyone who sent me poems but I just received some actual reading assignments from my evil English Prof. sooooooooo I guess I’ll have to MST those before Monday *wugh*. Hey! Why are you still reading this? You could be reviewing! Go on! Review!