"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. 'Yes' is the answer."

Anonymous

"Man cannot live by bread alone. He must have peanut butter."

Brother Dave Gardner

"The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon."

Robert Cromier

"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."

Betty Reese

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

Douglas Adams

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

Douglas Adams

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."

John Lehman (US secretary of the Navy)

"Never go to bed mad. Stay awake all night and plot horrible REVENGE!!!!"

Vince Lewonski

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

Woody Allen.

"GOD IS COMING, AND BOY IS HE CHEEZED!"

Cleckmoon

"People think I'm on drugs and I'm not, I'm really quite you know... just me coffee. When I take drugs I start going "Oooohh! insurance? and pensions...very sensible." So don't do drugs or you'll end up like that. Just go bleeaarrgh."

Eddie Izzard

"Ooooh, look - a bit of fluff. Fluff seems to go "Isaac Newton, fuck you!"; It just goes up doesn't it? Physics teacher there going "And of course, gravity, everything goes down, and Ooooh, there's a bit of fluff - Kill the fluff, Traitor to Isaac Newton!" Isaac didn't think of fluff did he? Tut! He didn't know anything, and he's dead, so that shows he was wrong. Looked at an apple."

Eddie Izzard

"Oh, quick question, right, you know... oh never mind, um; you don't know what I was going to say do you? That's really annoying, isn't it, like someone comes up to and goes "I've got this great secret, ah no, I can't tell you", and you go "Ah, come on!" You didn't care before. Anything this person could have told you, you wouldn't have cared, but suddenly they say "It's a big secret... oh I can't tell you", and you go "Come on!" So they go "Well, people... no, I can't" and you pound them into the ground with your fist until they tell you the secret, and then there's a court case."

Eddie Izzard

"We who are about to die, are going to take one hell of a lot of the bastards with us."

Joel Rosenberg

"And [Hitler] was a vegetarian and a painter...so he must have been going "I can't get the fuckin trees... damn, I will kill everyone in the world!!!!"

Eddie Izzard

"cake or death!?"

"cake please."

"well, we're out of cake. we only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush. so what do you want?"

"so my choice is ... or death? well, i'll have the chicken then please."

Eddie Izzard