teratism5.page

Knox: Number four. If you had to choose one, would you choose a
pair of Hello Kitty mittens, or a spiked arm band once worn by Richard
Simmons?
DE: You know, I'd have to go with Hello Kitty, Dude. I couldn't touch
anything that was touched by Richard Simmons.
Knox: Honestly, how, how tough would that make you, being in a black
metal band, you know, you know, like, extreme black metal, and you're
up there wearing mittens?
DE: Dude. That'd be fucking tough. Let me tell you.
Knox: Who's, you know, who's gonna tell you no? Honestly? Who's gonna get on stage?
The Black Metal Mafia gonna get on stage and tell you what to do?
DE: Fuck no, Dude! They'd be too scared.
Knox: Fucking gay European gay fucking gays.
DE: (laughs) I'd fire off high-style right hands with those things.
Knox: Exactly. Number 5. Uh, what are you wearing right now?
DE: Oh, actually... black leather pants and a Dark Funeral shirt.
Knox: Ok, aright, stoppin the clock right there. Going back. Let's uh, let's tally your score.
What is your favorite MTV celebrity. You said none. Uh, the answer is actually "Kurt Loder,"
cuz you are so creepy.
DE: (laughs) (but not much)
Knox: Number two, complete this line: Gozer the Traveller. You said "Gozer the Gozerian?"
DE: Mm Hmm.
Knox: I'm sorry, no. The answer is: Gozer the Traveller. He will come in one of the pre-chosen
forms. During the rectification of the Valdrani, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg!
Then, during the 3rd reconcilliation of the last of the mecetric supplicants, they chose a new
form for him... that of a giant Slor. Many shubs and xuls knew what it was to roast in the depths
of the Slor that day, I can tell you.
DE: ... (laughs)
Knox: I will not be denied!
DE: (laughs)
Knox: Number three, uh... on the background for the reviews page, what the hell is wrong with,
uh, your singers hand. You said Tendonitis. I don't have an answer for that one. That really
did just like throw me off. It was nasty. I don't know. It looks like all deformed. Looks like he
has cauliflower hand.
DE: (laughs)
Knox: Number 4. Uh, if you had to choose one, would you choose a pair of Hello Kitty mittens,
or uh, or uh, Richard So- uh, Richard Simmons spiked-arm band. You did have the correct
answer, Hello Kitty mittens, cuz they are so tough.
DE: Yes.
Knox: And, numberfive. What are you wearing right now? You said leather pants, and a what
kind of shirt?
DE: Dark Funeral.
Knox: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, no. The answer is "something frilly and lacy."
DE: (laughs)
Knox: No, it is.
DE: That's -
Knox: No, it is.
DE: It is.
Knox: No, it is.
DE: It is.
Knox: Any, uh, any parting comments?
DE: Uh, I don't know. That which does not kill you makes you stronger. Remember, no matter
where you go, there you are. That'd be it.
Knox: Uh, are midgets technically human?
DE: Um... Well, technically one-third human, how's that?
Knox: That's, uh... Hey, wanna hear what some of my new songs are called?
DE: What's that?
Knox: Real quick, I have a, I have an acoustic band. Uh, well, it's an acoustic project. It's just me,
really. And, uh, some of my songs are, are this: Autopsy Bags Full of What They Scraped Off of
Kurt Cobains Ceiling.
DE: (laughs)
Knox: Um... Bathtub Full of Jim Morrison's Cadaver.
DE: (laughs) Fuck yeah.
Knox: Volkswagon Full of Jerry Garcia's Corpse.
DE: (laughs)
Knox: Dingy Apartment Full of the Corpse of Layne Staley.
DE: Hell yeah.
Knox: Screeching Halt Full of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes.
DE: Oh, fuck yeah.
Knox: And, uh, one of my newer one's is called "Earth-bound Cessna: The Final Moments of Aaliyah."
DE: (laughs) You know, I, I hear that, uh, all of, uh, Jerry Garcia's remains sit in the ashtray in a
Volkswagon, too.
Knox: That's awesome.
DE: Fuck yeah, Dude. Well, minus the stuff that, uh, him and his little hippies just rolled up and smoked.
Knox: Good lord. Uh, do you think with those titles, and my acoustic guitar, I could get on the Milwaukee
Metalfest next year?
DE: Oh, easily.
Knox: You could pull some strings, couldn't you?
DE: Oh, totally.
Knox: I just, you know, get up on stage, and, uh, you know, no double bass, and no like fire-breathing,
and nothing like that. But, you know, a little, little good time folk, you know what I'm saying?
DE: Oh, that, Dude, the crowd would go nuts.
Knox: Uh, having said that, I, uh, I am here with, uh, with Paul. I would like to thank Paul from Teratism.
The, uh, the website is www.teratism666.com, and uh, any last thing to say?
DE: No. Did everything great, Dude. And uh, you got a, quite a legacy with your name, Oswald.
Knox: Good times.
DE: Good times, Dude.