INTERVIEW WITH MATT FROM SHADOW'S FALL by Oswald Knox. Interview conducted with a tape recorder at the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival 2002. Knox: Uh, yeah, I'm here with Matt from Shadow's Fall, and uh... Matt, I got a couple questions for you. N- uh, name one celebrity you'd like to fight. Matt: .......Wow, you hit that one right away, didn't you? Oh shit, um... (someone suggests a person) no, I don't wanna fight him. Oh god, dude... you're putting me on the spot! Knox: Better not say Shatner. Matt: Shatner? Ah, never! Knox: Good enough. Uh... Next - Matt: Wait, I don't wanna fight Shatner. Knox: Next question. You remember that show "You Can't Do That On Television?" Matt: I do. Knox: Member that girl Moose? Matt: Yes. Knox: She was hot. Matt: Agreed. Knox: Uh, moving on... um... how many licks does it take to get to the center of a eyeball? Matt: A three. Knox: Say it again? Matt: Three. Knox: Are you aware that I am the Bringer of Truth in this Age of Darkness? Matt: Of course. Knox: Good enough. Uh, Jenn from Metal Mafia, is she morbidly obese? Matt: No. Knox: I think she is. Matt: No. Knox: I think she is. Matt: No. Knox: Uh, you've made it to the bonus round. Uh... 5 quick questions. You have 15 seconds to uh, to answer each. Some guy: Megadeth broke up. Knox: Uh... do you care that Megadeth broke up? Matt: No. Knox: Good enough. Good answer. Uh, question #1. The clock has started. Spell Borknagar. Matt: B - orknagar. Knox: Uh, question #2... um, what was the name of the device that caused time travel in "Back to the Future?" Matt: Uh, Flux Capacitor. Knox: Uh, question #3... uh, best Enterprise Captain? Matt: Kirk. Knox: .... Good. Uh, question #4. Uh, what's uh, what's your lucky number? Matt: Uh, triple 6. Knox: Uh, question number #5: Angela Lansbury? Matt: No. Knox: Alright, ok, stop the clock. Uh...moving back, question number 1. Uh, spell Borknagar... you said B - orknagar. The answer is n - o - r - d - i - c uh, next word, f - a - g. Matt: Well put. Knox: Uh... number 2. Uh, Flux Capacitor is correct. Number 3, the best Enterprise Captain, you said, one more time? Matt: Kirk. Knox: Uh, good. Good. You get 1500 points for that. Uh, number 4. Your lucky number... uh.... what'd you say? Matt: The triple six. Knox: Uh, no... judging from your enormous girth and weight, the answer is "pi." Matt: You're right. I was, I was trying to hide the true answer, you got me red handed. Knox: Uh, Angela Lansbury - what'd you say again? Matt: I said no. Knox: No. The answer is of course. I'm sorry. Matt: Oh. Knox: Uh, uh, thank you for your time. I am the Bringer of Truth in this Age of Darkness. Any last uh, any last observations? Matt: Nothing. Knox: Off I go. Thank you. |