| Interview with JEFF BUTCHER (ex- ONSLAUGHT) at the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival, Worcester MA By Oswald Knox Knox: Aright, I'm here with Jeff, and uh, he's from, uh, Western Massachussetts. He used to be in a band called Onslaught with uh, withaguy named Emo Steve. Comment on that please. Jeff: Yeah. Steve was really emo, you know. He'd like to go to shows with sweater vests on, and... you know, just be a real emo kinda guy. Knox: I'm gonna ask you a couple quick questions, here. Uh, are midgets technically human? Jeff: Yes. Knox: Uh, do you know, uh, the date of David Hasselhoff's birthday? Jeff: No I don't Knox: You know, I asked the guy from 100 Demons that. I thought I was gonna fucking get killed. Jeff: (laughs) I think that's hilarious. Knox: So then real quick I was like, so then real quick - real quick I was like "Oh, so how'd that show in Hong Kong go?" Jeff: (laughs) I think it's a good question. Knox: Uh, questionnumberthree. What does Passion Fruit Snapple taste like? Jeff: No idear. Knox: The REAL THING! Jeff: (laughs) 2 Guys: (laugh) Knox: Uh... seriously.... uh.... how lame is Mel Gibson? Jeff: He's pretty lame. A lotta, lotta movies that are like, the same movie but just set in different time periods. Knox: Did you like The Patriot? Jeff: No I didn't. Knox: Wer - I think that fucking Aussie should go back to fucking Tasmania or whatever and do some goddam fucking Tasmania independance movie and stop worrying about Scotland and fucking the United State. Jeff: I agree. I agree. Knox: Uh, comic books. Respectable medium or contemptably childish waste of time? Jeff: Uh, I think respectable medium. Knox: Uh... I disagree. Uh, question number six - Jeff: (laughs) Knox: Jean-Paul Sartre claimed that Kafka was an existentialist, but many classify him in the absurdist category. Uh, what do you think of that? Jeff: Um... I'm not really familiar with him, so... (laughs) Knox: Uh, in the Metamorphosis, is Kafka expressing his self-isolating tendencies, or intamacy issues with his immediate family? Jeff: Not sure. (laughs) I don't know. 2 Guys: (In perfect unison) Intamacy. Intamacy. Intamacy. Jeff: Intamacy, cuz they say so. Knox: Uh, moving on. Here's a good question. Uh, do you (sings) "Keep on falling, In and out, Of love, With you?" Jeff: No. (laughs) Knox: You know, I didn't ask the guy from God Forbid that. Jeff: (laughs) 1 Guy: How come? Knox: Heh, eh, weh.... Uh, uh, question number 13. Do you hate the Swiss? Jeff: I don't hate them... Knox: I fucking hate em. Jeff: - I wouldn't say I like them. I don't care. Knox: They ji- they jip us so bad on that fucking cheese. All those fucking holes in the cheese. All that dead space. We fucking get charged for that. You kidding me? Jeff: That's true. Knox: Fucking pirates. Aright, um... bonus round. I'm gonna ask you five quick questions. You got 15 seconds to answer each. Jeff: Okay. Knox: Questionnumberone. Spell Borknagar. Jeff: B - O - J - R - K - N - A - R? Knox: Nobody likes you and you're not good at anything. Jeff: (laughs) Knox: Question number 2. Uh, what was the name of the device that causes time travel in Back To The Future? Jeff: Flux capacitor. Knox: Uh, number three. Uh, the best, uh, Enterprise Captain? Some guy walking by: Kirk. 2 Guys: Kirk. Jeff: Kirk. Knox: (to the walking guy) Thank you. Uh, questionnumberfour. Uh, what's your lucky number? Jeff: 24. Knox: Uh, questionnumberfive. Angela Lansbury? Jeff: Murder She Wrote. Knox: Aright, uh, stop the clock. Going back. Borknagar. You spelled it wrong. The correct spelling is, uh, N - O - R - D - I - C, F - A - G. 2 Guys and Jeff: (laugh) (alot) Knox: Question number two. Flux capacitor. You got it right. Question number three. I forgot what you said. Uh, Enterprise Captain? Kirk? Jeff: Kirk. Knox: Uh, good, good. Good answer. Otherwise, I'd kill you. Jeff: (laughs) Knox: Questionnumberfour. What's your lucky number. You said 24. I'm sorry - uh, judging from the fact that you're such a goddam fat ass, you rotund, obese motherfucker, the correct answer is pi. Jeff: (laughs) Knox: Questionnumberfive. Angela Lansbury. You said Murder She Wrote. The answer is "Hell yeah, I'd hit that, Bitch!" Jeff: (laughs and claps) Wow. Knox: Any, any parting comments? Jeff: I like your interview. I think you should, uh, you know, do more of them. Knox: ... Off I go. Oh yeah, I am the Bringer of Truth in this Age of Darkness. Jeff: Alright, man. Cool. |