| Geert from SHAI HULUD - Conducted at New England Metal and Hardcore Festival 2002, Worcester, MA By Oswald Knox. Knox: Aright, I'm here with - Geert: Geert from Shai Hulud. Knox: Oh, from Shai Hulud. You guys are big, huh? Geert: Oh, uh... I don't know. I guess, I guess we have a pretty big following in the hardcore scene. Knox: I used to like hardcore, but then uh, but then I grew up. Geert: Then you grew up? Ha ha. Ah, well, I'm still growing up, so I guess I still like hardcore. Knox: Uh, moving on, uh... what's the name of your band again? Geert: Shai Hul- Knox: Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Aright, moving on, next question. Question number 22. Geert: Ha ha. Knox: Name one celebrity you'd like to fight. Geert: What's that? Knox: Name one celebrity you'd like to fight. Geert: One celebrity I'd like to fight. I just got out of a fight. I don't think I'd wanna fight anybody. Knox: Who'd you - you fight somebody here? Geert: Uh, let's not even get into it. It's not necessary. Knox: Uh, good enough. Um... Carmen Electra or Jenny McCarthy? Geert: Jenny McCarthy. Knox: Uh... qualify that answer please. Geert: Why? Knox: Yeah. Geert: I don't know. I just think she's prettier. Knox: Uh, I'm sorry. I can't accept that. Question number 21. Geert: Yes. Knox: Uh, your favorite glam album from the 80s? Geert: Uh, Europe. Knox: Eu- Geert: Europe's "Final Countdown." Knox: Europe. Wow. That's not one I - I haven't heard that one. I - I will give you credit for that one. Uh, who's gonna win, uh, Vitor Belfort or Tito Ortiz? Geert: You know what? I have no idea. I never follow boxing. Knox: It's not boxing. It's uh, Ultimate Fighting. Geert: Well, there I go, see? I don't know anything about Ultimate Fighting, either. Knox: Um... ok, question number 20. Geert: Yes. Knox: Oh no you didn't, Girlfriend! Oh no you didn't! Geert: Start a fight? Knox: Oh, oh no you didn't! Geert. ... Start a fight. That's - Knox: Where the bling-bling at, yo? Booyah. Geert: I have no idea. Knox: Dropping bombs on ya Mizoms. Geert: Ha ha ha. I have no idea, dude. Knox: Aright, you've uh, you've gotten to the, you've gotten to the Final Round. Ok, here, here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna fire quick - Geert: I lost, huh? Knox: Quick - uh, no, no, no - Uh, uh, uh, I'm gonna fire quick, uh, rapid questions at you in sequential order. There's five of them. You have 15 seconds to answer each. Geert: Ok. Knox: What - uh, this isn't one of the questions. What do you play in the band? Geert: I - I, I sing. Knox: Oh, I see. Uh, when I saw Shai Hulud like 4 or 5 years ago at the Tune Inn in Connecticut, you looked much bigger. Geert: That was Chad Gilbert. That's very observant of you. Knox: I hate hardcore. Geert: Do you really? Knox: .... I do. Geert: I don't think you really do, because otherwise you wouldn't come up to me right now, asking me questions. Knox: Honestly, I, uh, I don't, I don't know who you are. Geert: Heh heh. Knox: I don't. I wa - I just saw all these people talking to you and I figured you must be important. Geert: No, no. These are just friends of mine and we were just chatting. Knox: No, you are. You're a very important person. And, and I think that in the grand scheme of world events, that you will, you will, you will figure in a prominent role. Geert: I doubt that. Knox: Uh, are you aware that I am the Bringer of Truth in this Age of Darkness? Geert: Uh, no. I am not. Knox: Are, are you aware of that now? Geert: Nope, nope I'm still not. If you could do something to prove that to me, I'd be, uh, willing to accept it. Knox: ... What if I did this? ... ... Geert: I'd say you're pretty stretchable. That's pretty fucking - Knox: I am, I am the Bringer of Truth in this Age of Darkness. Geert: You should, uh, you should see my guitar player do something like that. But he can do it cooler. He can put his arm around his back, and get it around back here. Knox: I hate myself. Geert: Do you? Knox: Ok, alright - Geert: You should read some of our lyrics then. Knox: Ha ha, alright. Uh, Bonus Round. Geert: Yes. Knox: Question number 1: Um, Phyllis Diller or Chloris Leachman? Geert: I have no idea of either two people. Just tell me who they are and maybe I can give you an opinion. Knox: Question number 2: Uh, how many elements are there in the periodic table? Geert: Hey Willem (turns to some friends and says some unintelligible stuff.) Willem: Damn... I don't know. Uh... let's see. Geert: He's a doctor. Knox: He's a doctor! He's a doctor! Willem: Ha ha! You putting pressure on me, Fella? Knox: What college did you go to? For the love of the children! Willem: Uh, actually I go to the University of Groningen which is in Holland. Knox: Wha? Willem: University of Groningen, which is in Holland. In Europe. Geert: Want me to spell it out for you? G - R - O - N - I - N - G - E - N. Knox: That's correct. That's correct. That's fifteen hundred points in Bonus Round. Uh, moving on, um... Finish this line, ahem: "I did it all for the ____" Geert: Nookie. Knox: Ok, question number 4... uh, how many in a Baker's Dozen? Geert: 12? Knox: Uh... question number 5: Favorite color. Geert: (Discussing with friends) 14? Willem: What? What? Geert: In a Baker's Dozen? I don't know. I figured 12, but I guess it's 14. So what's the next question? Knox: Uh, question number 5 - your favorite color. Geert: My favorite color would be, um... green. Knox: K, stop the clock, going back. Phyllis Diller or Chloris Leachman. Your answer was "I don't know who they are." I'm sorry, the answer is Ernest Borgnine. Geert: Ernest Bordnine? Knox: Airwolf's Ernest Borgnine. Geert. Ah. Knox: Number 2. Uh, how many... uh... how many elements in the periodic table... You deferred to the doctor from Europe... uh... Geert: I - I guess he didn't know either, huh? Knox: Neither one of you knew. Uh, that, that reduces your answer to, uh, to zero. Geert: Okay. Knox: Finish this line, I did it all for the nookie, the, the, the answer - Geert: The, that deduces it to like minus 50. Knox: Correct. The, the, the - Geert: That's right. Knox: The, the, the fact that, that you, that you got that answer correct uh, is uh... Gay. Geert: Is what? Knox: Gay. Geert: Gay? Knox: Gay. Geert: Alright. Knox: Alright, well anyway - Geert: I'm cool with that. Knox: Um, 3... Finish - Uh, uh, you did that, ok. How many in a Baker's Dozen - You said 12. Geert: I said 12. Knox: The answer, the answer's 13. Geert: 13! I was close! Knox: The answer's 13. Uh, your favorite color... you said green? Geert: Yes. Knox: I'm sorry, no. The answer is violet with lavender polka-dots. Geert: That's my favorite color? Knox: That's what I'm told. Geert: Well, if that is the case, then next time, you know, show me how that looks on me and stuff. Knox: ... That can be done. Uh, any, any parting comments uh, from uh, from the Shai Hulud camp? Geert: Any party comments? Knox: Parting comments. Yeah. Geert. Um. Thank you for asking me these really silly questions and uh, and uh, making my mood alot better. Knox: Um, do you, do you believe me when I said that I, I didn't know who you were? Geert: Um, sure. I, I believe you. Knox: Even though I am the Bringer of Truth in this Age of Darkness? Geert: No, because I don't believe you are. See, if you were, then I would believe that you didn't know who I was. Knox: If, if I'm not, then who would be? The doctor from, uh, Holland? Geert: No, he wouldn't be, but he would be a better Bringer of Truth. Knox: He'd be a better Bringer of Truth. Why would you say that? Geert: Uh, cuz he's one of my best friends and I trust him, and I believe that he's a very sincere and truthful person. Knox: Be honest with me. It's cuz he's more handsome than I am. Geert: He would be - uh, uh - Willem: I am not more handsome than you are. Knox: Ah, oh, say that again? Willem: I am not more handsome than you are. Knox: Oh, please. Geert: Take of your hat and see. Let's compare. Knox: (Takes off hat) Willem: Owwww! Oww! Geert: He's got you beat in the hair department. Knox: Yeah. Yeah. Believe it. Willem: You're hot. Knox: Me, and the uh, me and the guy from Holland are gonna go on a date after this. Geert: I'm okay with that. Knox: That's, uh.... Geert: He broke up with his girlfriend. He's got time for you. Knox: Do you, do you wanna watch? Geert: No, I'm, I'm, I'm great. Knox: Do you know, uh, Chris X, from uh, Pennsylvania, from uh, Philadelphia? Geert: Chris X from Pennsylvania, Philadelphia? Knox: He's that, you know, he's that, you know, straightedge hardcore kid that, um, goes to shows, and sometimes, he uh, he reads zines? You know that kid? Geert: Sure. Knox: He's the straightedge... you know him, right? That hardcore kid who, who has dredlocks, and he's white? Geert: That's like every hardcore kid. Knox: Fair enough. You know what? Nobody cares about Chris X. Would you agree with that? Geert: No, I don't agree with that. Knox: Do you like him? Geert: Do I like him? Yeah. I like most Chris X's. Knox: I don't think anybody likes him. I - you know, in fact, I don't think he has any inherent worth. In fact - I would go so far as to say that he is utilizing up the earth's resources. He should be, uh, jetisoned into s - into the sun as so much human excrement. Geert: Uh, you just summed up humanity. Knox: Good answer. Good answer. Well, anyway, uh, thanks for your time. Uh, this will be posted on seedsofevil.com. Uh, and, uh... any, any last words? Geert: Uh, thanks again. Knox: Doctor from Holland, any last words? Willem: Yeah, do you like, uh, listening to yourself? Knox: I do. I do. Would you, do, do you like listening to myself? Willem: Uh... I like listening to yourself very much, yeah. Knox: If you could just, uh, just email me or something, you know, we'll, we'll get the hook up going on, you know what I'm saying? Like, uh... you know, I'm, I'm, I'm not down for a relationship, I just - you know, I wanna get down, and, you know? You know what I'm saying? Geert: Yeah. Willem: You know that, you know that two man can get married in Holland, right? You know that, ja? Knox: Say it again? Willem: Two man can get married in Holland. Knox: I'm going. I, I already got my ticket. I'm on my way, here we go! You ready to go? I'd marry a doctor! What, are you kidding me? That's money! Geert: That is money. Knox: Off I go. Thank you. www.hulud.com |