The words form themselves and I feet the whole world slipping away. I glance at our leader's face and see the words become truth as his face looks too ashen and pale. His silence holds everything and I fear that with this frantic beating of my heart, it will finally burst.

"So...it's true," I say slowly, betraying the shaking of my voice. Gods, when shall I be accustomed to this? This sudden rumble of the earth that takes the lives of those who I care for? "Really..."

"Yes," he says to me and I see that he, too, is shaking. "I...I'm sorry."

His head is bowed but his voice is racked with silent tears. For a while, I bury these questions, these hesitations, and take him in my arms as he weeps.

~*~

She takes my hand and holds them as she stares up at me. "Oh, Kirkis, I am sorry," she tells me.

I stare down at her. She is truly wonderful, hair a light purple that turns silver with the light, either moon or sun, with eyes wide and innocent. Sylvina is easily the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. "Yes, me, too," I tell her softly.

The Toran Lake below us shines a reflection of the moon. Beyond the horizon, there are grasslands, towns, to Kaku. We are a long way from the Village of the Elves, and it seems a long time ago, suddenly, since we walked away from its ashen remains.

"He was a good friend, wasn't he?" she asks me suddenly.

My hand tightens around hers immediately but I do not notice this until she gives a gasp and I quickly pull away. "Yes," I agree, "a very good friend." My throat constricts and I suddenly find it difficult to breathe.

Then, her arms are around me so suddenly, enveloping me in an embrace so familiar that I bury my face in her hair. "Oh, Kirkis, I didn't know," she whispers to my ear. "Hush, love, cry if you must."

I grip her waist and begin to weep, sadly, angrily. This momentary weakness will be over in less than an hour, but its effects will remain forever...Gremio is gone, dead, and no one will be able to hold him again. Did he even know of his death's effects? Master McDohl performed too admirably, giving the announcement, only breaking down before Viktor, Lord Mathiu, and I.

Tomorrow, we would storm Scarleticia and kill General Milich Oppenheimer if we must. However, tonight, it is a time for sorrow and memories. Tomorrow...tomorrow would be the time for revenge.

I do not know how long I stay in her arms but when I pull away, she is smiling down at me sadly. I give a little laugh, angry that it sounds so shaky as I admit huskily, "Forgive me."

"What is there to forgive?" she asks me quietly. "You are in need of someone to comfort you in this time of anger and sadness. Whose better arms than that of a childhood friend?"

I swallow hard and tell her, in a way of explanation: "I don't really know how this happened, how I came to love him. Maybe...it was because of the way he carried on so wonderfully after we returned from the Village of the Dwarves. When I despaired, he held me so gently and..." I stop and pull away. "I'm sorry, I did not mean it."

"He loves you as well," she says, smiling prettily. "Do not be sorry."

"No," I cut in, staring at her. "Please don't say that. He doesn't, doesn't even know I hold these..." I take her hands and stare down at the ring. "Sylvina...it...it doesn't matter. I cannot take back my words, but I gave you that ring for a reason and I...I still mean to marry you."

She makes a small sound as if to say something, but thinks better of it and only nods. I gather her in my arms, my turn to embrace her. She gives a sigh, maybe of discontent, maybe of frustration, or even maybe of satisfaction.

I close my eyes and breathe her scent, hoping I would forget.

~*~

...When I despaired, he held me so gently and told me to hope. Even with the rest gone, even with Sylvina dead, with all the people I cared for now burnt to ashes, I should go on for them.

Maybe that was when I loved him.

While everything was falling apart, I clung to him and he let me hold on to him for a little while before, little by little, I let go. But I always keep a finger hooked unto his clothing, telling myself it is only for a short time, that it would be the last time.

But I never completely let go, and maybe he hadn't noticed that I would sometimes accidentally bump him on his way somewhere just to feel him again, even so small. Pathetic.

And that one time I allowed myself to touch his face, feeling the scar on his left cheek, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, letting me see the weariness bearing on his body. My hand felt the loose strands of his golden hair, making his face seem so ethereal and I longed to cup his cheeks and pull him towards me, to feel his lips that opened so invitingly as he breathed.

But the moment was over too soon and he was gone again.

~*~

A hand is on my shoulder and I look up. Sylvina smiles down at me and with the sunlight, the ring on her finger winks and shines. "Kirkis, it is time for the final battle."

"Soon," I tell her, smiling.

Yes, Sylvina is good and will be a very beautiful wife.

I wonder if she would forgive me if I still loved another, that even though I do not regret putting that ring on her finger, I still wish it was on someone else's?

I take her hand and lean on her figure, staring off to the horizon's bluish tinge. "Tomorrow," I whisper and close my eyes against the golden sunlight that always reminds me of long hair flowing over a beautiful scarred face that is now forever gone.