Summer would be the best time to cry, he thought.

Everything ended with the coming of summer.

~ * ~

College brought him baseball scholarships. Universities vied for Akio Nitta's extraordinary batting talent. Tatsuya Uesugi sat across him, smiling and nodding at Akio Nitta's excited chatter about the many offers. He quietly sipped his coffee and offered his assistance when it was needed.

"But," Akio would say, shrugging, "I don't know if I'll go pro."

"Idiot," Tatsuya would then chide. "You're supposed to accept all of them. The best."

Akio would give him a small smile that Tatsuya always wondered about and would turn to Minami to order another cup of coffee.

Minami was not anymore a gymnast but other universities asked for her, too. She politely refused and said she was more interested in pursuing her bachelor's degree. She would join them and chat. Akio would get a glint in his eye that Tatsuya would have to grin. Minami-chan had grown all the more beautiful.

Tatsuya, too, got baseball scholarships. But instead of talking about it, he would look down at the papers silently, reading the words only once before returning them to the envelopes and stuff them between his books at his desk at their study house.

"Aren't you going to take one?" Akio asked one day when he came over. Akio rarely came over because he was from the other side of town and went to a different school, but he when he came, he combed the place.

"I've never thought about going pro," Tatsuya replied, surprised.

Akio pursed his lips, staring at the paper. "You should."

"There's no more meaning," Tatsuya would state lightly and he would bend over his homework.

"Idiot," Akio would mutter affectionately, ruffling his hair.

Summer took time.

The last year was by far the most difficult. The new coach had them hopping from benches literally and even gentle Minami-chan was already exasperated with him. Tatsuya, it seemed, was his favorite toy, and he would make him frog-hop a hundred times around the baseball field with a 500 kg weights over his shoulder.

~ * ~

But summer was there, and it was the end of his baseball year. Akio Nitta had come over to his mound and, suddenly, before all the people, clasped his hand in his. Minami was weeping when she came over to them, running over Tatsuya. Kohtaro laughed and threw him over his head, the only way Kohtaro could.

He said goodbye to Kazuya when he was still in second year. But then and there, he decided to throw it away.

"Don't," Akio urged him.

"I'm not interested anymore," he replied quietly, shrugging.

"But I--" Akio started, closed his mouth and shook his head. "I don't understand."

Tatsuya didn't either. He didn't know what he want.

~ * ~

In the end, he applied for a baseball scholarship anyway in his university. Although his pitching was sought after, he didn't think it would be of any help in professional baseball. Akio frowned at him but it seemed Minami understood. She stood beside him and agreed when he said he wanted to take a bachelor's degree in Education. She helped him apply.

Summer, he thought to himself one day, so suddenly, brings changes.

When he looked up from the casually disappearing ripples over the river's waters, he was startled to see Akio Nitta glaring at him.

~ * ~

"We always end up here," the other boy mused.

Tatsuya smiled and stared down at the grave. "Yes. I think it's because it started here."

"Here?" Akio asked, frowning.

"What do you want, Akio?" Tatsuya asked, changing the subject. "Help in your Chemistry? How was your exam today? Did my explanation of the periodic ta--"

"You asshole," Akio said flatly, turning to him. "You completely messed it up, didn't you?"

"What?" Tatsuya blinked.

"Kazuya," the other replied, anger clearly etched in his face. "Kazuya, your twin. You don't get it, do you? This need. Baseball is all I have of him, all I ever had. I hate the way...the way you try to take it away from me!"

Tatsuya took a step back, surprised. "What are you talking about?"

"It's your fault...you...made me..." Akio's hands were clenched as he looked at the other boy. "You took him away...Kazuya. And Minami. And baseball. Don't...don't try to take yourself away..."

"Akio--"

"You don't understand!" Akio said abruptly and walked away.

It took Tatsuya a minute to replay the whole odd conversation in his mind. And in that whole minute, Akio Nitta had already boarded his motorcycle and speeded away.

~ * ~

Summer brings changes, he thought angrily.

Summer should be full of life.

Somehow, it feels so dead.

Aniki...

~ * ~

Akio Nitta met him on his way to school. He slowed his motorcycle at the sidewalk where Tatsuya was before letting it give a final groan. He removed his helmet and gave Tatsuya a smile. "Get on."

Tatsuya eyes him warily. "What...?"

"Just get on. Let's skip class. I'm treating." Akio smiled. "And don't worry. Your parents won't find out. Neither will Asakura-san."

The other grumbled but obeyed. He got on behind Nitta and pulled on the helmet the other gave to him. They drove around town for a while before finally ending up at the stadium. The janitor knew them and let them in; they sat at the dugout, staring at the empty field.

"I never took anything away from you," Tatsuya began but Akio waved his hand.

"Don't worry about it."

"What was it about?"

Akio turned to him briefly and flashed him a small smile. "I don't understand either, you know."

"I'm sorry," Tatsuya fumbled.

Akio slapped his Chemistry modules on his friend's head and smiled. "I said don't worry."

They stayed there the whole morning, talking about nothing in particular.

~ * ~

"You were taking yourself away from me, Tasuya Uesugi-kun," Akio Nitta whispered at the draining water at his bathroom sink. "You took away all I ever held dear then. Kazuya and then Minami...and you didn't become pro...and I couldn't beat you all over again...

"And then...you made me...made me to this person who can't survive without you...you bastard...you bastard..."

His fingers were under the tap, overflowing with cold water. They streamed over his skin, lapping like rivers, hissing with the pipes. He splashed water over his face and thought about drowning. Then he thought about grass--one can drown in grass. Tall grass, almost weeds, that hide his body and made him momentarily forget...

"I never thought I'd love you, Tatsuya."

~ * ~

Summer brought changes, Tatsuya Uesugi thought. It brought so many things and takes away so many beautiful things. He wondered since when he referred to Akio Nitta as beautiful.

The perfect time to cry.

He weighed the hard white leather skin on his hands, measuring the perfection of the white baseball. He thought hard about his twin, laughing and smiling, and understood Akio Nitta's thoughts.

He threw the baseball across the empty field and waited for someone to catch it.