He opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling above him. His own room. His own ceiling. It felt so distant now, so unlikely.

Everything's not the same.

Everything's the same.

How can one feel so alone in his own house? His own bedroom?

Something's changed.

*

He waited for her at the hallway. He was staring out to the open windows across the hall, where tree branches reached. He could remember the teacher who had let their class go early. He could remember the way she had scowled at them, her hand pressing on her temple with a headache.

The bell rang and he looked up as the kids began to pour out of their classrooms. He shifted his satchel, back still against the wall. His eyes ran over the different faces, looking for the one familiar to him.

Then, she was beside him suddenly and he didn't have to look. Her hand smoothed her rumpled skirt, trying to smoothen them. She did not offer her hand.

He took a second, just looking at her, not straightening. He wondered how it would be like to look at her, like a part of the wall, without her knowing, without her staring back.

Her eyebrow raised. Stop playing walls. He straightened finally, raising a hand in greeting. She shrugged and gestured with her head. They started walking.

He could remember, one time, not so long ago, when she used to smile.

*

Sometimes, he felt a little guilty, wondering if he could somehow do everything all over again. Maybe he could go back? It seemed a little silly, wanting to go back to something he knew he never belonged to.

How can he feel so at home in a world he never really existed in?

*

He was going to walk her to her father's lab, as he had been doing in the past three months they've returned to their own world. Dr. Sanada had destroyed the machine that brought them to the parallel world. He didn't like it, and neither did Dr. Rara, but it had been the only way to save both worlds after all.

He didn't like going to her father's lab. It filled him with memories he didn't want to remember. Or wanted to go back to. He had the feeling she didn't either, but it wasn't something that can be helped.

He could remember, again, the times when she used to laugh and tease him. How they didn't get to her father's lab until sunset when they were ready to shut down all machines. Those times she always managed to convince him to go somewhere else.

"I miss you," he whispered.

But she didn't raise her head to acknowledge his words. And they disappeared with the noise of the passing cars and the people's conversations. He sighed again.

He really did miss her.

*

He awoke groggily at the sound of the digital beep of the Casio alarm clock. He waited a while, wondering if someone would turn it off for him. When no one did, he reached out at his bedside to turn it off.

7:00 a.m.

He strained to hear if someone was cooking.

Three months.

His mother didn't cook. He would get some money left in her box and run out to eat breakfast on the way to school.

Three months.

7:01 a.m.

Yayoi used to cook.

So did Mitsuki.

So did Mitsuki-san.

And Dee would be beside him.

And Dr. Sanada would be drinking his morning coffee.

7:02 a.m.

Three months.

He hasn't learned.

He still didn't let go.

*

"Let's eat," he suggested to her.

Miyuki looked at him, puzzled. "Are you hungry?"

"Aren't you?"

"No."

He sighed and looked away. "I wish you'd cook something for me."

She was silent for a moment. "You eat enough at home, don't you? Anyway, come on, I'll treat you."

"No." His voice was quiet.

Mitsuki turned to him. He had stopped walking. "Kazuki..."

"I wish you'd cook something for me." He looked down at his shoes. He sounded sad. "It's been such a long time. I miss your cooking. I miss you." He looked up and gave a lopsided smile. "I wish we can talk. Just talk."

A man bumped him from behind. He looked up, ready to apologize, but the man was gone. When he turned back to Mitsuki, she was beside him. She shrugged. "Let's eat. Let's talk."

He stared at her. And when he took a step forward, she began to walk with him.

*

"Not too many people now," she commented, unwrapping her hamburger. She took a small bite and looked around. "Weird, considering it's one of the best fastfood chains here."

He swallowed a French fry. "Unusually empty McDonalds," he agreed.

She nodded.

He really did miss her smile.

"Kazuki..." She stopped and took another bite of her hamburger, chewing thoughtfully. "Kazuki, if you really want, I'll cook for you this weekend, okay?"

"It's not just you." He felt frustrated. Angry. How could she not understand? "What happened, Mitsuki? We had to go back, didn't we? The war is over. It was time to go back."

"I thought that, too," she replied. She sounded so calm. "You're right, Kazuki. It was time to go back."

His anger disappeared in a second. Her calm tone always did that. It flustered him, made him think what he was arguing for was ridiculous. He looked down at his half-eaten hamburger. "I miss them. And it's unreasonable, because they're actually right here."

She waited.

"I miss waking up to your screams, to Yayoi's voice, to Dee's weird breakfasts, to your father's morning coffee. I miss Mitsuki-san's cooking, Yayoi's, yours..." He bit his lip. The hamburger's warmth seeped through the wrapping to his fingers. "And McDonalds doesn't really make up for your cooking."

They were silent for a long time.

Then, she said, "We couldn't stay. We were disrupting the balance."

"You're making excuses!"

His voice was too loud. He was standing. People looked up at them, but they didn't notice.

*

"You're making excuses for what happened. And you don't want to talk about it. Does it scare you, Mitsuki, that we're not there anymore? What's stopping you? What's scaring you?!"

*

She reached out and touched his hand. Again, she restrained him, like a tamer soothes a lion. He sat down; their eyes met.

"Mitsuki..."

"I am scared," she told him quietly. "I'm scared that I'm actually wishing for something that will never return to me."

As always, she managed to silence him.

"I miss them, too, Kazuki."

She managed to silence him...

"But I have you."

...as always.

*

"Father." She stared down at her black shoes, hands behind her back to hold on to the railings. "Father, have you ever thought of getting married again?" She looked up and stared ahead, frowning slightly. "Of ever getting another wife?"

He paused for a while, blue screen blinking before him and reflecting at his glasses. Another research project; this time, will not affect anybody. At least, not yet. "No, not really." His mouth was set into a grim line. "No."

"Why not?"

"I never really met anyone as great as your mother." His fingers clenched as if remembering a painful memory. "No one as great."

*

"In the parallel world, you had no wife, no child. Mom was Dr. Rara's wife, and they had another child, Mitsuki-san. She cooked well and she fought well. And you had a woman who admired you. She was the official war inspector of the UN.

"Mitsuki-san liked Kazuki a lot. And Dr. Rara loved her, but Mom didn't. Mom didn't care much for her, neither did she like Dr. Rara much."

A smile.

"She makes him clean up messes and serve on the tables. But Dr. Rara loved her, and so did Mitsuki-san. But I hated her, Father. I lived with her for a month or so, and I could do nothing but hate her. I didn't like Mitsuki-san, either.

"What does this mean, Father? Does this mean that I hate Mom? That I hate myself? How can I do that, Father? How can I feel this way, see myself in such a different perspective? How can I hate my own family?"

Silent tears racked her voice. Her fist was clenched behind her back. Her teeth were clenched, her face hard, without tears, only a scowl. Filled with wonder and hate.

Dr. Sanada turned to her quietly, watching her.

"Your mother...Ayako was a wonderful woman. She was full of life, and I'm afraid I took it away from her. She gave up so many things for us, but I never did the same for her. I never went home much, and that was one of the reasons why she left. I didn't give her a chance to develop.

"Maybe Ayako in the parallel world was actually wiser to think that she can be a mother and be the Ruler of the World at the same time."

"She never had time for Mitsuki."

"Then she made the same mistake as I did."

*

Silence.

The computer beeped. Mitsuki turned away. Dr. Sanada returned to his work.

*

"I can never make fried eggs the same way again."

Mitsuki stared down at her breakfast. Fried eggs, sunny-side up, with rice and sausages. A hot cup of chocolate mixed with a little coffee to keep her up the whole day. Across her, Kazuki was eating a hamburger with eggs as its filling.

"What do you mean?"

"I keep waiting for Yayoi or Mitsuki-san to enter the kitchen, expecting them to cook another kind of breakfast."

And here they were, sitting again at McDonalds, eating breakfast.

"Fried eggs are easy to do. Even I can do it."

"Does noodles taste the same here as in the other world?"

"I never really notice now."

She offered a small smile. "We never notice much of anything now."

He smiled back. He missed seeing her smile.

*

I wish you'd cook for me again. Just once.

*

He awoke groggily at the sound of the digital beep of the Casio alarm clock. He waited a while, wondering if someone would turn it off for him.

7:00 a.m.

He waited a while, then reached out from underneath the covers to press down the OFF button.

Then the noise stopped.

Yayoi

Then, realizing where he was, he pushed the covers back slowly, rubbing his eyes off the sleepiness that still surrounded him and clouded his vision. Surprised that a person was standing beside him, he looked up.

Mitsuki smiled at him.

"I'm cooking breakfast for you today." She shrugged. "Your mother let me in. She didn't mind." She held up a spatula. "Hotdogs with gravy, what do you think of that?"

Dee

"Sounds great."

"Want coffee?"

"No, thanks."

7:01 a.m.

"And then, maybe noodles for lunch?"

"Cool."

Mitsuki-san

Mitsuki turned to go, tightening her apron behind her. But Kazuki sat straighter and reached out a hand to stop her. "Mitsuki, wait!"

She stopped but didn't turn around.

"Thanks."

Still, she didn't look at him. There was a trace of a smile in her voice. "No problem."

7:02 a.m.

Mitsuki

He really did like seeing her smile.