[ tell me why you're crying
of happiness
and why you drown
for loneliness ]

"Is it over?" he whispered in the darkness. "Is it finished, then? Are we going home?"

There was a silence in the darkened room before another figure sighed and shifted with the blankets. "Yes, I suppose." The voice rose and fell, fading with the figures, hitting the walls and disappearing until they joined the night air. Unseen, unheard.

"It would have arrived one day."

"It seemed like so long ago," one murmured, lips on skin that were scarred by years of training. "So long since we started this revolution."

"And now we are going home." But the voice was hesitant and quite uneasy for the darkness had become home and these arms his hearth and warmth. But the war was over and he would be going. It seemed he was speaking a lie and he had not lied to this man. Not once, except to say that he would be with him forever.

Teeth nipped on his neck, a tongue sliding over his cheek, tracing the X-shaped scar on his left face. His breath heated the skin and arms moved to their own accord to embrace him.

"You're crying," one remarked, touching the face his lips had traced.

Gremio opened his eyes to smile at the worried face that hovered above his. Eyes that were smaller than ordinary humans and so purple, golden red hair that shimmered even in the darkness, ears that were long and pointed that twitched with puzzlement. "Don't stop," he told him.

Kirkis leaned forward and kissed him again.

~ * ~

[ why do you choose me
so strong, my hands
and your thoughts
will always be with me ]

So in the morning, almost everyone left. Frantic preparations were being made for the birth of the Toran Republic and with Mathiu Silverberg gone, Lepant had become the chief adviser in the meantime while they geared Tesla for the job of General Secretary.Tir, though, disappeared frequently, saying he would like some time to be alone. Gremio let him. He was not the boy's keeper anymore.

Gremio thought often of Viktor and Flik. Somehow, he could not believe them to be dead already, no matter what the others insisted. It was hard to think of Viktor, the man who had been with them since the beginning, to be gone. And Flik, the man with the charming smile and suppressed anger and sadness, didn't seem to be the type to just die without a hard fight.

But...

His glance fell at the tall Elf who stood beside him, watching the other people run around as well.

But. He thought of Kirkis everyday.

As if sensing his thoughts, the Elf turned to him and gave him a smile. "Two more days," he told him quietly.

Gremio nodded, smiling back. "Tell Sylvina--"

"--she understands," Kirkis replied. There was a small pause as Gremio reached out his arms and wrapped his arms around the Elf's waist to draw him closer. The turned his head so he could breathe the words into Gremio's ear, "I love you."

Gremio shivered and closed his eyes, wishing Kirkis would not pull away just then and see the tears that gathered and threatened to pour.

~ * ~

[ I want you so much
and because I am
crazy, stubborn
don't doubt it anymore ]

"Even in war," Tir McDohl said, by way of beginning a sentence, "we make friends, don't we?"

Gremio looked up from his breakfast and Cleo gave him a sharp glance. Tir continued to stare at his plate.

"Was it wrong...was it wrong to ask for something otherwise?" Tir went on, voice barely audible.

"Bocchan." Cleo leaned a little across the table, trying to see the face of the boy. "Friends come and go and the war had to end. We all changed. Nothing could be the way it used to be."

Tir picked on his breakfast. "I used to think that love can hold everything," he confessed after a small pause. "But...Pahn still left. Mathiu, Father and Ted are still dead. Windy is gone. Cleo is still confused and Kirkis wouldn't stay."

Cleo and Gremio stared down at their breakfasts, suddenly forgotten. Their faces were solemn.

"What went wrong, Gremio?" Tir looked up at the man.

Cleo turned to the boy. "Bocchan--"

But Gremio stopped the girl with a smile and answered sadly, "Everything went right at the wrong time for all the wrong reasons."

"Is it always because of races?" Tir asked angrily. "Is it all because you're Human?"

"One day, you'll understand, Bocchan."

"No I won't!" The boy stood up, slamming his hands on the table. "We fought the war for everything to turn out alright and it's not. Everything I ever thought would be has gone and you had the chance to be happy but turned it down. Why?!"

Cleo's eyes widened.

Gremio met his young master's gaze calmly. "You said it so yourself. We fought the war for everything to turn out alright and it's not. One year of pure bliss, interjected briefly by the time spent in the dark void, doesn't erase six hundred years' worth of doubt." His voice dropped a notch. "Happiness is brief when one can be erased so quickly from this earth."

"You're a coward," Tir snapped and ran from the room.

"Bocchan!" Cleo stood but the boy was already gone. She turned to Gremio and demanded, "Go after him!"

"No," the man replied, pushing his plate away sadly. "He was right, after all."

~ * ~

[ though in the future
there will be an enormous wall
I am not scared
I want to fall in love with you ]

Kirkis looked up at the ceiling of his hut that he had acquired after the rebuilding of the Village of the Elves. At the whiteness that mingled with the darkness, slightly trying to remember the pale tan skin that he always saw against the black. Sometimes, he thought, he wondered if he would forget. It always seemed he wouldn't.

He sat and looked out the window, surprised to see a shimmer of purple hair against the moonlight. Sylvina, his mind whispered and he relaxed.

He wondered why he did not marry her. It would have made things a lot easier, he supposed, if he married her and forgot everything. But, he continued, war changed everything, messed all your plans. Everything did not turn out the way he wanted it. Yet however he thought this, he could not bring himself to regret everything.

After all, he had met Tir McDohl, Emperor Barbarossa had found redemption, Windy found peace and the Elves found themselves full of friends and a new home.

And he had fallen in love with a warrior, after all. Thoughts of Gremio would fill him and he could not deny the warmth that filled him. Gremio always made everything feel alright. Gremio made everything worth it.

So then, his mind insisted, why didn't you stay?

He turned to his side, away from the window, away from Sylvina's figure staring at the night sky. Watching her hurt him.

He didn't want my love, he thought, not a little angrily. It was with resignation that it entered his mind. He wouldn't stay and I can't stay with him if he didn't want me to.

He felt his ears twitch at the thought: a reminder. Long ears; sharp and narrow eyes with unusual purple color; hair so golden red that even in the darkness it shimmered; skin so pale and white...it spoke of their differences, he thought.

An Elf could not fall in love with a Human...

...because...

He thought of the time Gremio had died, consumed by the man-eating spores by Windy's acts through Milich Oppenheimer's body. The despair he felt, the anger and darkness that threatened to devour his very soul. And the very knowledge that, yes, their love is forbidden...

...because Humans die so quickly.

~ * ~

Gremio opened the door and let out a sigh, wondering why it had chosen to rain today when the sun was high only the day before. Spatters of raindrops fell on the cement and he could barely make out the next house through the storm. He debated briefly if the stocks would hold out until the end of the week; Pahn had decided to come home for a visit and Master Tir had also returned for a stay. With Pahn around, they would have to redouble their provisions.

He grinned at the thought. Pahn had come home and the Young Master was here once more. It would be like old times for a while, despite Master Teo's death.

A stray drop fell over his eye and he blinked and lifted a hand to wipe it away.

It felt like a tear, that drop, he thought suddenly, surprised at where his thoughts headed. A moment's happiness passed him as he remembered the only time Kirkis had been able to convince him to bathe at Lake Toran's water. Sylvina had sat at the edge where the cement met the water but he and Kirkis had decided it to give Tir a break and, along with some other men they had convinced, they had jumped into the cool waters of Lake Toran.

It was when we shared our first kiss, he thought and he smiled. Kirkis had gotten a hold of his arm and had laughingly pulled him down. With a yelp and a loud splash, Gremio had slipped, flailing helplessly and grabbing his captor's body before he completely fell.

They had gone down quickly and he had gasped, only to let the water into his lungs. Alarmed, he tried to motion at Kirkis, but the Elf had only grinned wickedly and swum closer, grasping his face with his slender fingers and pulled him closer.

Gremio had not realized Kirkis was kissing him until he was already kissing him back. He gripped the smaller frame at his body, needing the contact. They broke into the surface, breaking apart and breathing hard. Then, they had both laughed before Kirkis tackled him again and let his lips meet his. It had been the perfect day.

He had to smile whenever he remembered that. That night, he and Kirkis had fallen asleep in each other's arms, too exhausted to do anything. The Elf crawled up to his post outside Tir's door and they had whispered to each other until they fell asleep. They awoke to find Tir grinning down at them and asking them to meet Mathiu for breakfast.

Rain was still falling.

He shook his head with a grin and started to close the door but a movement in the grayish fog captured his trained eye and he looked up.

A figure across the street.

The gray light formed a silhouette; the rain barely acknowledged the movements, but it was there. Gold-red hair, purple eyes, long and pointed ears--

Gremio's breath caught and held.

~ * ~

There are times when one forgets the purpose of a very long journey because of a beautiful flower that is seen at the end of the road. Sometimes, the rocky path seems like the clearest stream because at the end, the view of the sparkling ocean takes one's breath away.

It seemed illogical, Kirkis thought, that he should take this journey because of a smile.

The Village Elder had already given him his blessings to strike out for a while, and even Sylvina smiled and pulled him aside, whispering at his ear, "Farewell." There were tears in her eyes and Kirkis found himself wishing for a moment that he can wipe them away.

He passed through the Village of the Kobolds and through the Enchanted Forest. He stopped by Lake Toran, spending the night there with some of the others who were left behind.

Gregminster was two days' worth of travel away and his mind kept asking, what then? At the end of the journey, would he catch a glimpse of the smile and turn away once more? Would he let the person walk away?

Thoughts brought him sleepless nights and he fell into fitful dreams of arms that encircled his body, of shining yellow hair that wound around his fingers, of eyes as blue as the ocean where he can drown.

It rained on the third part of his journey. It was considerably easier to pass through the gates of Gregminster with the authorization of Tir and Lepant. It also pleased him that Tir was well-known there and that everyone knew the mansion as well.

He staggered then, because the house was far from the gate and the rain began to pour harder. He could barely make out still figures, not to mention forms that ran to and from everywhere. More than once did someone bump on him on the way.

But he remembered the smile.

Just one, he thought, and perhaps I can go back.

This was not his territory, after all. It was disconcerting, the lack of Elves. Spending two years again with his kin brought a sense of security that had been lost with the war.

But then, so had Gremio's arms.

He stopped walking even before he knew that his feet stood erect on the street. His hair glistened with the rain but he did not notice. His cloak was soaked and his clothes were wet but he took no notice of these as well. The pounding of his heart threatened to overpower that of the rain.

A smile.

Across the street, a man stood before the open door of a mansion, arms outstretched to catch some drops of rain. There, the smile. So beautiful that when it appeared, it lifted a weight from Kirkis's heart that he did not notice was there.

"Happiness," he murmured to himself, "comes from even a brief moment locked in another's arms."

Everything came together so beautifully.

He turned to go.

And then, miraculously, a voice called above the rain, struggling to fight with the rushing noise of falling water. "Kirkis!"

Kirkis stopped breathing and turned. The figure had his arm outstretched, but not anymore to catch the rain. If he wished hard enough, he could think it was to catch him.

"Gremio," he said, and it was loud enough.

Gremio stepped out into the rain and held out his arms. His smile was so brilliant and so sad and happy at the same time. "Don't go. Not now."

Kirkis hesitated for only a moment before running across the street and hurling himself into the arms that had always been his home.

~ * ~

Tir McDohl welcomed the Elf in his home as he would any other guests that it made Kirkis almost embarrassed to be there. Pahn, who had returned from his journey, welcomed him heartily and Cleo was still there, smiling at him and inviting him to stay. Behind him, Gremio reluctantly let go of the hand he had been holding and Kirkis had to turn to him sharply, knowing full well when the fingers slid away from his.

The boy leader asked him about his village, how were everyone, especially Sylvina, Stallion, and Rubi. Kirkis answered the questions and asked some of his own. A little restraint was between them but there was understanding as well, since both have rejected the offers of being leaders of their own account: Kirkis from being his tribe's Chief and Tir from being the first president of the New Toran Republic.

Gremio carefully watched him, playing the faithful servant, always by his master's side. His eyes met Kirkis more than once across the dinner table and at the study where they had retreated.

Then, Tir stood, blinking away some of the weariness in his eyes. "Forgive me, Kirkis, but I am dead tired," he told the Elf frankly. "I suppose you're weary as well with your journey. Please, rest and make this your home."

Kirkis smiled.

The boy turned to Gremio. "Gremio, I hope you'll take care of our guest. And--" Here, he turned to glance at Kirkis and smiled warmly. "--you have a lot of catching up to do." With that, he walked out of the study and left the two alone.

An awkward silence passed between them for a few minutes. Gremio gathered the goblet Tir had been using and turned to him. "Come with me, please," he said simply.

Kirkis took his goblet and followed the taller man out of the study to the kitchen where they put the goblets on the washing pans and sink. Then, Gremio told him softly, "I'll wash them tomorrow."

Kirkis felt a lump gather in his throat. "Gremio..."

"Why are you here?" Gremio interrupted. He knew Kirkis was on the verge of explaining but he wanted to ask anyway, wanted the slender Elf to know how much he needed to hear the words.

Kirkis swallowed hard and stared the man at the eye. "I missed you."

Silence, then the taller man sighed. His eyes were sad. "I missed you, too." He looked up and gave a small smile. "But it's not the reason is it?"

"No." Kirkis thought of the reason, of Gremio's smile, of his laughter. It seemed he would not see those tonight. "I also wanted to ask why."

The smile that was presented to him was grimmer. "After two years, Kirkis? You're only asking now?" His voice dropped a notch. "Haven't you figured out why?"

Kirkis held out a hand and touched his face, fingers tracing the scar on Gremio's left cheek. "Because of this," he replied softly, "isn't it? This mortality, this weakness that you think you have, that everyone has. But you've been there, haven't you, at the edge of death? What are you afraid of?" He leaned closer and cupped the man's face, drawing their faces closer.

Their breaths mingled before their lips met, as if it was to prolong the agony. Then, their mouths opened slightly tongue tracing the familiar lines and caves that they had been denied two long years. Hands roamed over each other's bodies, slowly outlining the curves that their clothes hid. Skin tracked over skin and their mutual gasps told of their needs.

"I love you," Kirkis murmured before leaning forward to catch Gremio's lips again.

Gremio closed his eyes, holding Kirkis at bay, taking a deep, ragged breath. "Don't," he muttered, feeling the tears once more. "Don't love me. It will only make you regret."

"Gremio," Kirkis replied slowly, "don't make me regret loving you." He leaned forward, practiced lips kissing Gremio's lips, jaws, trailing to the cheek where the scar lay, to the neck. Gremio arched before him, all words forgotten.

Quietly, he pulled the Elf to his quarters right behind the kitchen. He laid him on his bed and Kirkis breathed the scent that was solely his lover's. It surrounded him and made him feel safe. Just as these arms would do.

A few hours later, Gremio awoke to find himself naked and bathed in moonlight, his body wrapped around another body that lay in splendor beside him. He smiled and wept bitterly, knowing he was lost.

~ * ~

Tir McDohl stumbled into the kitchen, trying to blink away the traces of his sleep. It was already high morning and he had not expected to sleep so late. Instead of the usual morning ritual of Gremio entering his room and opening his curtains to let the morning sunlight in, he was greeted by Pahn's enthusiastic announcement of a food competition at the market and his intentions to enter. After a groggy congratulations and a shared laughter concerning his rumbling stomach, he stood to go eat breakfast.

It took him a minute to realize that his servant sat beside the counter, head in his hands as if he had not noticed his master's entrance.

"Gremio?" he uttered uncertainly.

The blond man started at the mention of his name and turned to him. His shoulders drooped and his posture told of an exhausted state. "He left," he mumbled.

Tir did not even have to ask. Immediately, his weariness left him and he stood beside his friend. "When?"

"Early morning. With the sunrise." Gremio sounded as miserable as he looked, but he stood and tried to smile as he turned away. "Pahn already ate most of the breakfast but I suppose I can --"

"Why?" the boy interrupted, expression growing fierce.

Gremio did not turn to him, merely stood with his back to his young master. His voice dropped again. "He couldn't stay."

"Or you wouldn't let him?" Tir corrected angrily.

Gremio whirled around. "This is not your business, Tir!" It took him a while to realize that he had used the boy's name and did not call him "Bocchan". He struggled for his composure and went on, "It does not concern you. It never has."

"Yes, it has!" Tir shouted. "It does concern me because I chose to join the Liberation Army! I chose the paths all of you tried to steer away from me." His voice lost some of its power and he choked slightly. "You weren't the only one who experienced death, Gremio. I died every time someone died for my sake. You, Father, Lady Odessa, Ted, Flik and Viktor...I die again and again and I don't want that to happen to you and Kirkis. You deserve more than that!"

"Do you know the lifespan of Elves, Tir?" Gremio asked him quietly.

The boy nodded. "They live for eat least three-hundred years."

"And do you know how they love?" his servant pressed on.

Tir blinked. "What?"

"Forever," Gremio replied flatly. "They love forever, Tir. Do you know how much hurt it caused Sylvina to let Kirkis go? Do you really think it's easy for me to give him up?" At that, his voice cracked and he collapsed once more on a chair. "I don't want him to love me. I don't want him to give forever up because of me, a human."

Silence.

Then, Tir said coldly, "I was right. You are a coward." And he turned to his heels and left, completely forgetting breakfast.

~ * ~

[ I don't know what to tell you, this is the truth
if people want to know, how to show compassion
you and I split, they don't move
but in this lonely sky, don't leave me ]

This isn't real , he thought hazily as the mouth traveled down his throat towards his exposed chest. This is a dream and I'll wake up soon.

Somehow, it felt so much like a dream. Kirkis found himself moaning as the body began to move with him. But he knew it was real, this naked awareness, this fire. He responded desperately, trying to intensify the flames. It didn't seem real, but he wanted it to.

At the back of his mind, he could remember what had happened...the drinks, the long talks, the bitter laughter. Then, Rubi, the Elf who had just been welcomed, was tugging at his hand, pulling Kirkis towards him, and they had tumbled to Kirkis's bed, eagerly stripping their clothes. The hands that brushed against his skin invoked the same lust but it he wondered why it was not as strong as his love's.

Then, Rubi's hand strayed over his arousal and began to touch. Kirkis uttered a low sound and bit his lip, hating himself for wishing that hand to belong to another, wishing Rubi's fevered whispers were spoken by a different voice.

"Let go for now, Kirkis," Rubi murmured, breath hot over his ear. "Just for now...come to me."

"Oh, gods!" Kirkis groaned, nails raking Rubi's smooth back. He whipped his head from side to side, trying to keep himself from losing control and failing miserably. "Gods, Gremio!" He gave a keen shout and came into the other Elf's hands, so strong that he found himself screaming the name over and over again.

It was over in a moment and the taller Elf collapsed beside him. Their lungs frantically grabbed air and Rubi wiped his hand before running them over his body.

Kirkis closed his eyes, biting his lip.

Then, his friend pulled him in a warm embrace and whispered, "You didn't let go completely, Kirkis."

"I'm sorry," Kirkis whispered in return. "I tried, really..."

"Not hard enough," Rubi told him quietly. "Not as much." Fingers traced over Kirkis's nipples, slowing to a tease over his chest where his heart beat erratically. "Not here."

"I don't want to talk about it," the younger Elf replied tiredly. "Leave it alone, Rubi."

Rubi smiled in the darkness. "You cried his name when you came, you know." Kirkis remained silent; he knew. "But you wouldn't speak the words."

"He told me," Kirkis said slowly, "not to love him."

"Did you follow?"

The younger Elf smiled acridly. "Do you know the reason why he doesn't want me?" He held up his hands before his face, into the darkness. He tried to stare at them without light; the slender fingers, molded for the bow and arrows, stared back at him silently. "Because of these. These hands that weren't able to save him."

"You mean, he's afraid that when he dies, he'll hurt you if you love him?" Rubi gave an indignant snort. "What a waste."

"But," Kirkis replied sadly, "it tells me of his feelings." He gave a long breath that sounded like a choked sob. "Gods, Rubi, I miss him so much..."

At these, the arms drew him closer once more. "I told you to let go for now," Rubi told him.

Kirkis caught a bunch of his friend's green wisps of hair, clenched his fists and wept.

~ * ~

[ don't leave me, don't leave me
don't listen to me, if I tell you not to love me ]
[ don't leave me, don't disarm
my heart with that you don't love me ]

So he was staring at the darkness once more, staring at the stars. He thought briefly of how everything would have been, how they changed and what they have become. One hundred eight Stars of Destiny, sharing the same lonely fate.

He thought of his last thoughts before he died: it was of his Young Master. He had always been worried for the boy and had treated him like his own son.

But he thought, too, of his fellow companions, of his closest friends who have died with the Gate Rune Wars three years ago. Ted, the boy he took care of along with Tir; Teo McDohl, the first man who took him in and believed in him; Lady Odessa, the woman who formed the Liberation Army and did not live to see its fruits; Mathiu Silverberg, the strategist who only longed for a peaceful life; Viktor and Flik, the men who were as different as two sides of a coin but decided to give their lives for the boy who stood beside them in their victory.

"Gremio," a voice said from behind him.

He ripped his gaze away from the stars and smiled at the boy who timidly stood before him. "Bocchan," he said.

Tir shuffled his feet nervously. "I just wanted to apologize. I've been behaving badly for the past few weeks." He sounded extremely sorry.

Gremio merely nodded and smiled comfortingly. "It's alright. Don't worry."

"I just...I've just been thinking a lot lately and..." Tir looked up at the sky as well. "I'm thinking of leaving again, traveling to the East for a change, you think? There are other continents I haven't visited and I...I think I need some time alone." He gave Gremio a hesitant smile.

But Gremio crossed his arms and replied thoughtfully, "It might be a good idea, I agree. You will write, though, won't you? Have you planned anything yet?"

"No," Tir admitted. "But I thought I'd leave next week, depending on the weather and the availability of transportation."

Gremio smiled tenderly. "We'll all miss you," he told him truthfully.

Tir smiled back. "And Gremio...about Kirkis."

The man tensed.

"I know what I think doesn't matter," his young ward went on, "but this Soul Eater Rune gave me a lot to think about. About Ted, especially." He shrugged and looked away. "How Ted must have felt, living three hundred years, how lonely he must have felt. And I kept thinking, why did he stay so long with us? Did he learn to love as well?" At this, he turned to Gremio. "I'd like to think he let himself go and allowed himself to be happy. I think...that's what matters in life. If...if you're really...really happy with what you had, what you have for the present. It doesn't matter what happens in the future."

Gremio stared at him silently.

Tir seemed embarrassed and began to back away. "Well then, Gremio...good night," he finally said awkwardly.

"Tir," Gremio spoke suddenly.

The boy straightened. "Yes?"

"I think," the blond man said softly, turning to the skies with a thoughtful expression, "that if you don't mind, I shall take a journey as well."

~ * ~

[ don't love me, that I beg you
my grief leaves me ]
[ you know well, that I can't
that it is useless, that I will always love you ]

He had not returned to the Village of the Elves since its inauguration around three years ago and it looked better than before. The dawn broke at the faraway mountains, casting a soft glow for every dew drop that was on the tree. The silence spoke volumes of its sleepy state; bridges to other branches and huts swayed slightly with a stray wind.

Gremio looked around and wondered if this was how Kirkis felt, this uncertainty when he traveled to Gregminster.

It doesn't matter, he thought, almost dazedly, as he crossed a bridge. I don't know how this will end, but it will. Right now. Somehow.

His heart throbbed, protesting loudly at his frantic state. There were too many huts, he realized, and he did not know his way around. Elves everywhere were still asleep and he wondered if he should stay outside and wait until he saw some figure outside.

Then, from a nearby window came a slight movement. He quickly turned just in time for the door to open. He opened his mouth to ask a question but it came out instead as a sharp gasp: "Rubi!"

The tall, dark-skinned and green-haired Elf looked up at him, surprise quickly melting into a small smirk. "You finally came."

"Where is he?" Gremio demanded. The pounding in his head was louder now, threatening to drown his senses. He tried to silence it.

The Elf shrugged and smiled. "Where he usually waits." He pointed to the west. "His hut's the eighth one from here. Good luck." But the man was already running.

He felt like he leaped over branches and dodged all leaves in his eagerness. His heart was pounding so loud that it felt like bursting. Kirkis is here, his mind sang and he tried to rationalize, tried to think that maybe it was already too late; his heart refused to accept such an idea.

And then, just as abruptly, he stopped and stared.

By the door sat a lone Elf, looking up only when he came in sight. Kirkis stood slowly--so slowly--and smiled. "Don't love you," he said quietly.

Gremio crossed the distance between them. "Don't leave me to my sadness."

"You only needed to say the words."

Gremio held out his hands and with them, grasped the Elf's arms to draw him closer. When his lips brushed over the long and sensitive ears, he said the words he only breathed in his dreams: "I love you, Kirkis. Let me stay."

[don't love me, since I made you suffer
with this heart that is filled with a thousand winters ]
[don't love me, to forget your gray days
I want you to love me, just to love me ]

That night, they made love under the stars with their hands as guides to each other's bodies. They whispered words that held no meaning, acted on their passion with fleeting touches and kisses. When they woke in the morning after spending a night in Kirkis's hut, they laughed and cried together. It really seemed like a very long time.

Is it how you felt in that void? Kirkis asked. The emptiness, the alone...like only a shadow to your previous existence?

Without you, Gremio replied solemnly, I was a shadow.

Kirkis smiled and kissed him again. Slowly. Lovingly.

Gremio responded and entwined their fingers together, leaning into his lips. He gasped softly as Kirkis sucked on his mouth slowly, savoring the sweetest taste he ever found.

"What did you ask me then?" Kirkis asked once more when they pulled away. "For me not to love you?"

"Yes," Gremio confessed with a small smile. "Don't love me."

"You have no idea, love."

The man frowned. "What?"

"It was already too late, after all." And Kirkis's laughter was like the peals of bells that broke into the darkness to tell of the dawn's arrival.

~ * ~

[ don't love me, you and I will fly
one with the other and we will always be together ]
[love is like the sun that comes out from behind the torment
like two comets in the same star ]

Two stars shone brightly in the night sky, burning for so long as they tried to come closer.

They said that when two stars moved on their own, they would explode.

But then, the strongest explosion can create many beautiful galaxies.

~ * ~

[ don't love me ]