Oscar Medleys - 1999
Like Billy Crystal's Oscar Medley's? Wondering what the lyrics were? Here ya' go:
GREEN MILE (to the tune of Green Acres)
Green Mile is the place to be
Tom Hanks is there but he can't pee
Then as he walked his late night watch
The lights went out and that magic guy grabbed his crotch
Bright lights! Last rights!
Sponge dry? You fry.
Don't get me wrong
But it was a little bit long
Three hours long, tell me why
Green Mile!
SIXTH SENSE (to the tune of People)
People, kids who see dead people
Are the spookiest people in the world
You're eleven, having chats with folks in heaven
So if you see my uncle Doug,
tell him I didn't pull the plug
You see things that ain't there,
Like Bruce Willis...with hair
You're in the sixth sense
You were so great in the sixth sense
You may go home with Oscar and with Cher
THE INSIDER (to the tune of The Minute Waltz)
I am gonna go on 60 Minutes
I am gonna go on 60 Minutes
I am gonna go spill my guts on 60 Minutes,
Yes, on 60 Minutes I will tell them everything I know
I just hope they put it on the show
'Cause I hate to risk my life by saying
I'm on 60 Minutes and then tuning in to find out that I'm not even there
It's just Mike Wallace and an empty chair
Still I cannot keep it in so I'm gonna tell the truth and say who dunnit
And just prey to God they have the guts to run it
Someone tell Don Hewitt
He has got to do it
Even though I know I've got my faults
I know everybody there thinks I'm a loony
They have got their nerve, they hired Andy Rooney
Hey listen Morley Safer
I'm gonna sing the 60 Minutes waltz
You can tell the bigshots up at B&W
I've got some information that will trouble you
Spare us from your fiction
You know cigarettes addiction is the thing that filled your vaults
I don't care if they all say that I'm a whacko
Watch this little whacko bring down big tobacco!
I'm a fighter, the Insider, yes!
And I just sang the 60 Minutes waltz
THE CIDER HOUSE RULES (to the tune of Mame)
I'd like to sing a song about Mike Caine
He never met a script he didn't like, Caine
He's made a lot of movies
First Alfie then he kept on making more
He won for Woody Allen but why'd ya have to go and make Jaws 4?'
How many movies can one actor make? Caine
You'll make one in the next station break, Caine
Tonight you're dressed to kill
And you may be going home the Prince of Maine
I'd gladly cross a bridge too far,
To be the actor that you are
You are such a classy movie star, Caine
AMERICAN BEAUTY (to the tune of Lady is a Tramp)
He just turned 40 but he digs a teen
He loves to shower, never gets clean
The guy next door is a closeted marine
That's why this beauty is a champ
There's always roses all over the floor
He gets his reefers from nut case kid next door
His wife's adultering and looking for more
That's why this Beauty is a champ
He's now a free, fresh, high hamburger-selling cat,
He's lifting weights
He's throwing plates
She fled, he's dead
It ain't a feel-good, but boy is it great
That's why this movie could win eight
It's time for Oscar to take center stage
This guy has his work done
He never shows his age
He's 72 now but still all the rage
That's why the Oscar
That is why the Oscar
That's why, Oscar is a champ!
If you have any corrections or additions to these lyrics, please send them to me.
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