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Penelope |
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Pet loss books sent by Yang Yang about a week before Penelope�s death. |
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Flowers and candle from Jean. |
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Then we drove the 150 miles to the pet crematory that�s near Atlanta. |
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April 12, 2004
Monday morning the pet crematory�s call woke me up at 7 AM. They said it would be okay to do the cremation that afternoon. So around 8 AM, called the vet school and asked them if I can pick up Penelope�s body at 9 AM. And the receptionist said it would okay. So at 9 AM, we arrived at the vet school to pick up Penelope�s body. Two vet students from the oncology department wheeled Penelope�s body out. It was inside a cardboard coffin. They helped me to the box into the backseat of the car and said the oncologist wanted to talk to me, and then they left. While I was waiting, I wanted to check if I have the right body, but I was a little afraid that I would be shocked if I see blood all over the body. But when I finally got up the courage to lift the lid, I saw that they had wrapped Penelope�s body in plastic pads. I only got to see a little paw sticking out from the covering, but I immediate recognize that it was Penelope�s paw. Then I took Anastasia out of her carrier and walked toward the reception desk again, and Natalie, the oncology tech, came out to talk to me. She said that when they heard the news this morning, they were all just sat there (shocked). It make me feel a little better hearing that because it meant that they cared about Penelope enough that it affected them when hearing the news. She reassured me that I had done everything I could for Penelope, and even though I wasn�t hugging her when she died, Penelope knew that I loved her. She said Penelope put up with them, but I was her one and only, and I should never doubt that. She was wiping tears off her eyes as she was telling me these. She said they made a paw print of Penelope, and they�ll bake it and give it to me later.
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He and another guy carried Penelope�s coffin (or casket, as they call it) into the little chapel, then he stood in front of the coffin and said he needed to clean the body up a little. So he went to get some paper towels. When he said okay and I went up to see Penelope�s body, I just couldn�t help myself and started crying. There wasn�t that much blood near Penelope�s mouth, so I wasn�t crying about that. The manager said he would go start up the gas for the crematory. I stroked Penelope�s fur. Her skin and fur were still soft, but beneath the skin, it was frozen solid. I also stroked and petted her head. Her ears were still soft like they�ve always been. But after about five minutes, I was ready for the manager to take Penelope to be cremated, because I really felt it was just the body that�s left in the coffin, but Penelope�s spirit will always be part of me. We waited a few more minutes, then they took Penelope through their casket room and loaded it onto a golf cart and drove it to the crematory in the back of the property. They have three crematories, but the manager said they are not expecting anybody else today, and I didn�t see anything came out of the smoke stacks from the other two crematories. They had the crematory door open to show me there�s nothing in the crematory, so this is definitely a private cremation (I had been warned by another crematory manager when I was calling around asking about cremation services, that sometimes a crematory might say private cremation, but it could be �private� along with ten other bodies. I had heard some good things about Deceased Pet Care (company that owns Oak Rest Pet Cemetary), so even if it wasn�t a viewed cremation, I�m sure they would still do real private cremations. But I just need to actually see Penelope�s body being cremated, so in my mind I would be able to convince myself that she�s really dead). Then they put the entire coffin into the crematory, and the manager closed the door, and pushed a button that started the fire. He said it would take about three hours to finish, and I could either wait in the parking lot or drive to town to look around in the stores. I said I would walk around their burial gardens, and the manager said that they have some pet loss books and pet magazines in their office if I want to look at them. |
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When we arrived at the pet crematory, the manager of the place just got back from lunch. I went inside with him and paid the balance left on the cremation service. I asked him if I can take pictures of the procedure, he said they can put the body in the little chapel and I can take pictures there, but he preferred that I did not take pictures of the crematory. |
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Anastasia in the chapel. |
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It was a cold day, but I held Anastasia in my jacket and we walked around on their property for about an hour. It was truly a healing experience as I walked around their burial gardens. As I read the epitaphs on the headstones, I realized that so many pet owners loved their pets as much as I loved Penelope. Not only some of them spent hundreds of dollars for the headstones, some of the epitaphs were truly touching. While we were there, there were this family (parents with a little girl) came to visit their deceased pet. They did not appear sad at all, it was if they were visiting a friend. |
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