SIXTEEN UNTITLED ONES  -(87-89)



I tried to be myself
You accused me of lying

I hope you remember
You are never prepared
For any sudden change
Of character, climate or surrounding

I want you to know that I saw
How lost you were last night
When I had to pretend to be myself
And you forgot who you were.

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They will be looking for both of us now
Those in grey and white
I will be where I always am
Crossing my heart in hope
As they move in for the kill.

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You spat,  ‘You think you know everything’
I don't
You know more than I
But I do know when not think
And when to stay silent.

=================

True love is very fine tonight
And a pleasure it is to undress with you
In the dark shelter of anothers’ room

But please remember
I am the one
                                           
On your left.

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I have no words for your beauty
That would not rail against being confined to paper
They should be cut into a midnight sky in fire
With distant suns and falling stars for punctuation
And although I borrow this style
From one who could annihilate the majority of my work
With a quote from his Buddhist Torah
My imitation holds the honour
Of being true
To the precise time of the heart
Measured only by those worthy
Of true admiration

May you both live to overwhelm me forever.
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If I walk away now
I want you to follow
Because I have just learned
The value of where I am going
And I need you there

If you choose to remain behind
Then I will stay
Because you need me here.

===================

They sit alone in their separate squares and she scares me dead.  
We never made love until it was too late.  
We had a baby that froze in water as soon as I said I loved it.  
Live like it is your last summer as a teenager.
The landscape changes whenever I forget it.  
One night by red light on nitrous oxide, dope and tequila sunrises.
Days spent on amphetamine and mescaline.
Praise from the lunatic competition- we are all equal in madness, enchanted I'm sure.  
O driveme home and let me sit in the back like a stoned young lord in exile.  
Returning to my open cell to welcome the uninvited reprieve.
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You may be relieved to hear
I finally met my true muse
Face to face in the early morning mile

She came to explain her departure
From the desolate time before
And she did not wear your face

The poet is confused
Is he blessed with gifts
Or being used?

Now there is no blame for inspiration
No credit for barren times
You are relieved of every duty
Now feed yourself my rhymes.


No assassin’s bullet
Could ever make you bleed
But as you leave again, I plan

Mumbling to the paper 
About obvious futures of minimal hope

I slowly vanish
I eat and get thinner
Until the changing image
(One of your veins to reality)
Re -appears in black
Dazzling with white flames

One day, moonlight
Will not be enough to impress you
Your kind of beauty
Is pain

It kills observer and observed.
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Voices outside the window
"Come on, he can't hear- he's deaf"
I recognised the girl and heard footsteps

I lept to the glass
And looked to the street
No one in sight

Instant confusion

It is easy to go out of your mind 
In an asylum.

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A certain song has found me again.  The past is catching up.
Waiting on the corner like a lie detector in a long leather coat.
I have learned my history and remember mistakes.  
I remember every night, their words and truth.  
But this song has found me, trapped me into sentiment and doubt.

I am not condemmed to repeat
I am not condemmed to repeat.
==============


Things to take with you
When you go out:

A watch
A lighter
Hankerchiefs
And money

Ask any insecure man why.

====================

The solution to the problems is simple
But the questions are wrong
So how many would understand the answer?
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I understand
You want to go on and on
Until you burn up and out
Some arrangement has been made 
By yourself to this end
You refuse to tell, but are so lonely and weary
That all I need to do is watch your eyes
To know what it is

You are catching up at last.
=====================


You are looked upon as a guide
People see you as a map
On what to avoid
Their relief consists of:
‘There but for the grace of God...’
You make them happy they are not you
You see them as being known
For what they have not done.
==========================

I was the wrong child for my parents
I can make no apologies
My children will be wrong for me
And I the wrong parent for them.
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