THE WORST MUSICIAN IN THE WORLD                          2003                                   



Doorslams, exploding BOMB
Mongrel yaps and shrieks
Yellow bird PEEPS!

The Worst Musician in the World 
Is lankthinhaired 
With a wispy dyed red goatee
Five years practising
The same cartoon horror riffs
Drear noise, no anger or passion
Without ideas or spirit
Not heavy, not evil
No real bollocks

What is he playing for?
Every Frankenstein chord
And twisted rockschool scale
Invokes excessive violence in me

I will give him enough rope
And hope

Let his filth build up around him
Lungs full of smoke and dust
May he cough all night for release
And crash his car again

He’d be a better guitarist
If all his fingers were broken

Stick to selling drugs son
You’ll get more punters.


///For my neighbour and his endless stupidity, I have no
tolerance for daily repeated aresholes.  This includes me too
but I know how to behave most of the time. This ape doesn’t.///