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UNCONSIDERED OPINIONS 97 Male teenagers – Ever seen little girls in lipstick, clumping around in their Mum's Shoes? Goatee bumfluff beards and wispy pubic sideboards are your equivalent. (Now I have hair on my face that I could shave but won't just yet, I can get served in pubs.) WRONG! Your age is more obvious with your soft and stupid hair. Girls of your age may think you look cool but Landlords think You look like a c*** in more ways than one. Hair on your face does not qualify maturity, neither does studied Cool - just look tired, that will do it. Uniforms- During school time in Britain, one joy is to re-arrange your uniform so as to maintain a certain cool. Trainers instead of sensible shoes, top shirt button undone, jumper around waist, (NEVER the neck as if you were a European poof) It is a natural teenage reaction to go against conformity, the straight and the dull. How come virtually none of them go against each other - or themselves in the type of uniforms they wear when out of school, college, or even University? They remain in their cliques for protection from what? The outside world of responsibility? Themselves? Adidas, Benneton, Kenvelo, kitted out, item for item from a catalogued magazine of cool. If teenagers are that cool and rebellious, why not demand to get paid for the free advertising they give clothes which are taken up with emblems and logos of the companies. You are walking around like 3 D billboards, on behalf of those who are laughing at you and taking your money, you morons. Skinheads, Goths, Punks, white boys wanting to be black - all out of a catalogue. It is easy to rebel against your folks and teachers. Try to be original on your own individual terms. Ignore your idiot peers and start your own group of one. Flapping out of the nest, falling out of the tree, only to join another flock for slaughter...Baaaaa!!! Fashion- Why are people STILL following coked up (or pretending) fashionistas? Lemming peer pressure? Those STUPID baggy jeans with the arse around the knees, a factory mistake, saved by the announcement that they were cool. Skirts to be worn over trousers for girls, sarongs for Western men, keychains dangled like prison guards. How the f**k did flares and platforms and those Godawful Seventies jumpers? Those coffin block toed high rise monstrosities with shiny metal toecaps - which magazine was paid to snigger they were ‘in’? Which female truly feels sexy/feminine/dangerous in stack -heeled shoes which make her clomp along like a clubfooted mongaloid? Like short people wearing high shoes, the illusion is too obvious. (So are my targets, but I’m on a ranting roll…) Putting silver attachments on these shoes is like the ‘go faster’ stripes on tacky cars. I cannot even be allowed to start about mullets. The trousers for women which look like Sixties Star Trek rejects. The only good fashion is a sense of style, mix and match for yourself. Black is always the new black. All those backslapping, handclapping catwalk parties make me wish I had a flame-thrower at hand. Why pay to dress like a clown - unless you trust the circus? I thought that muzak played in malls and supermarkets was Designed to calm shoppers down, so as to make their purchases according to the psychologically designed areas. Call me old fashioned, but every time I hear the fake Beatles et al and the insipid, limp and empty arse- air which is played in these places, I want to kill kill kill and walk out without buying anything. But as our demented Yankee cousins would say; ‘Hey, that’s just me!’ Grafetti- Whatever happened to good grafetti? Rude, slanderous, political, nonsensical and surreal, with poetry and drawings at times. Slogans as a call to mental arms... All this messy marking of territory like a spastic writing Arabian, a pissing dog spraying his idenity. Even ‘I woz ‘ere’ has more art and anarchic rebellion than the hip hop scrawl. Even the politics on brickwork was better than the subway rave bullshit. Spraying on folk’s houses and garden walls? You wankers, wait till you have conformed and get this courtesy returned to you -and you fume at the morning discovery. In the last 20 years, I have yet to see one breaking from the pack. If you cannot create your own style, then at least imitate the original. F*** THE GOVERNMENT. (Why not? They have the secret slogan, ‘F*** the People’) And who are ‘The People’ anyway? Bill stickers is innocent. Vivé the poets of the psychic revolution. All art is an expression- Punk appeared as a reaction to the over gloried bollocks of keyboards and concept albums. Techo/jungle/house/hardcore events was a reaction against normal gigs where all attention was focused towards the stage. The ‘kids’ just wanna dance, do drugs, f*** etc. What happened to that? Now the DJ has become a god because he can play records in a cult of no personality. Attention and adoration is poured unto the king amid the laser and strobe lights. (Six years later and all is well again, although corporate rock will suck forever Jon Bon Jovi? I am RIGHT with Dennis Leary on him) Mobile phones on public transport- Do people think others want to listen to their shouted non conversations? ‘I’m on the train, I’m on the bus, I’m on space ship to Neptune, I’ll be there in an hour, what else did you want from the shops?’ The way that when one phone rings, everyone else with one, takes theirs out as if to show they too have one, rather than check a message to their very important selves...(2002, heh heh, now I have one…) AND ANOTHER THING... There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t mourn the death of Bill Hicks. Keep ranting till I get there buddy. We, the raving minority, loved you. |