TO BE CONTINUED… 86




DO YOU HAVE SILENCE?

Alone, too alone
Mum, she talks to Dad, on the telephone
It isn’t enough to walk the streets
Reciting the 23rd Psalm
I need to learn, relax,
Concentrate on calm

Hate it when telephone rings
Or doorbell chimes
Hate it when no one comes at all
Fluff up my pillows with Valium
I have slept badly for two months
In a soft pit death bed, slept madly

The fear allows me to the edge
Shows me around
Brings me back till the next time
Then a little further on
And a little deeper
Gone
Lost it and spinning…

Relapse, relax, collapse
Until the next time
Then.



/// One tiny delusion kept for a while, was that I was TS Eliot
reincarnated. (Lordy,lordy) He died the year before I was born and when
I saw his picture, heard about his life and read some of his work, something
clicked. One line is pure Plath. The panic attacks.
Line three comes from David T, (another beloved brother) he asked Roy Harper
this question and recieved the instant reply, ‘In between the voices’.
All five of us in this paragraph were probably mad, talented, with wildly
fluctuating happiness. What, and you too ?///