TIMES TWO AND REPEAT     89



LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I have noticed something!

(Thunderous applause)

If we were ALL outsiders,
We would fall into the void between us

(Hysterical laughter from the MC)

The Singer- "I've got to EXPLAIN this to you"

Audience- "Oh for f***'s sake, WHY?"

Backing Vocalists- "He's making it up as he's going along"
(X 2 and repeat)

We are but as sperm, swimming in the testicles of the universe

Audience- "Oh, here he goes again look...."

Poem One
Every breath in
Is wasted
       Unless it is taken
       With drugs, alcohol
Or a kiss.

(Wilder applause)

Poem Two
       But my lateral drinking partner
Won’t get up this morning
If ever.

(Absolute silence)

Backstage whisper – “He's the kind of bloke who laughs for half an hour,
Then asks if YOU'RE stoned..."

The people I see are as unreal as me (giggles then stares hard)
‘Look, the ONLY thing that REALLY matters, right, is SPEED, right?
Don't you see that?’
Audience- " That is sooo INTENSE!"

Meanwhile-The Real World Sitcom#1

"I have a dream, I had a dream
Oh, I've forgotten it"

Grafitti seen in the park;
AUDITORY HALLUCINATIONS IS A PROSTITUTE

Motto for the Day- If you're stopped by the heat, stay cool
AKA, if you’re busted by pigs, bribe ‘em with swill

       I can't think of anything without laughing

Exclusive story - we visit Wordsworth's home for 33 years
More news on that in approximately 12,045 days...

Audience- "Yeah man, go there for us..."
I have but they were out when I called
Now I'm looking for a volunteer from the audience
To come up here for my next trick
"Oh come ON, there must be ONE??"


Audience- "N E X T!".



/// Heh heh, ahem, this was ONLY inspired by smoking hash or grass.
Throughout everything I have written, there are very few pages directly
from the ideas while stoned. Which is fascinating to me, as the WHOLE
reason I started to take them was to see how much effect they would have
on my writing and thinking. Perhaps a total of 12 pages all in all are from
‘The Drugs’. NOTHING that I consider really good was inspired by them,
although these pages still make me laugh like a lunatic when I remember
getting there. Still wish my parents had smoked a little...///