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| NIGHTMARE RECALLED 85 Mum and I in the main bedroom, watching large helicopters taking off diagonally and vertically behind the opposite row of houses in the evening. Already very scared. Then jets taking off in the same way, massive above us. I did not see or hear the nuclear explosion. The dream cut to a railway station in the midst of thousands of frightened, milling people, DESPERATELY trying to find Antonella, terrified I was dying from the fallout even though I did not yet feel bad. I followed crowds along what seemed to be the edge of a quarry. Then got to a school, a hospital, or a hall where all the survivors appeared to be insane. I found her, wept as I held her, then lost her again to the mob. Now slower and hopeless, with greater desperation, I tried to find her again. I did not want to be alone with the ill and insane. Talked to some survivors in the hall, totally mad, no sense at all. Talking of nothing at all. I woke up crying my heart out. /// During 83 to 85, I had many, many nuclear apocalypse dreams. Remember Threads? There was something in the collective psyche, I am certain of that. This was just after I had split from Antonella and knew it to be a terrible mistake - these dreams, the split, the divorce of parents, lack of job and money,an attempt at living in a rented squat and the endless drugs, finally claimed their victim in August 85.../// |