for one moment

by O.P.Bautista

Memories are just moments we create from our everyday lives.

It all started when life seemed no more than a four letter word and its meaning deemed better left to those that want to be the Socrates sort. I was neither the thinking type, but rather the kind of teenager that scribbles and form lines on a piece of paper hoping to find a different style that can be compared to Picasso (an individual is entitled to his/her own opinion). Oh yes, I experimented with music playing the flute to the likes of Beethoven and Mozart and of course the never-ending Pomp and Circumstance. In regards to sports, I was an athlete. I tried the different shapes and sizes of balls one can imagine...basketball, softball, baseball, football, volleyball, tennisball, bowlingball, etc. I excelled towards all those things (again, a matter of one's opinion). Until one day, something extraordinary captured my sight and forever altered my perception and gave meaning to the word "Life".

Lunatic was the word affixed to the unsuspecting algebra teacher. She was a curly haired, petite, smart woman; nevertheless considered as "lunatic" by the unruly and unforgiving crowd of mongrels. Students hated her, not personally, but because she taught the subject we hated most. I've never paid attention to Lunatic before until one day she came in the classroom and introduced Laura. From that day on, my universe was transformed and was given a definition "Laura". I did not know what I saw in Laura that transfixed me to her. Everytime I saw her, blood would rush up to my brain and my heart's beat sounded more like the tribal drums of Africa.

After a month of friendly gestures, I was given a chance to do a project with Laura. I went to her house and started working on our project. After a few minutes, she yawned and told me she was tired. She jumped on the bed and asked me if I was also tired (of course I was. who would miss a genuine opportunity). We started hugging and kissing. This was the day that I have ever experienced passion. Some would consider this teenage perversion, but for me it was deeper than anything in my world. I felt I was J.J. Winckelmann, discovering antiquity, but in my case the antiquity of love, romance, and passion. I am definite that anyone who has ever been in love can comprehend what I was going through. It was the explosion of all explosives combined. I was in love for the very first time.

Laura and I started going out and enjoying each others company. My love for her didn't have any limitations. My love grew to a new high every day and every moment I spent with her. However, with everything else, too much of anything is bad for anyone. I loved her too much that everything in my world encompassed only Laura and no one and nothing else. Her love for me lasted maybe for the time we were together; almost a year and a half. For me, it was a different story. Although I didn't want to ever see her again, I still went a couple of times with her and her new boyfriend as a chaperon. My heart felt more than a stabbing wound every time I was with them or every time I saw her. Well, love is blind and I have more than proven this.

After Laura, I went on with my life but every day I felt I had a hangover from her. She was always there beside me in my thoughts, memories, and heart. When I finally found and formed a wonderful relationship with somebody new, I came across Laura once more. After fifteen years, she was still the same and I still had the same feelings for her. I did not know what to do. Should I tell her that after all these years I have loved her or should I just turn around and forget about her. I was baffled for about a month and finally had the courage to tell her. She said she had an inkling of what I wanted to tell her. And so, it started from there again.

I visited her once in a while with flowers and chocolates. One day, I gathered up the gumption to grab and kiss her. Once more, my life stood still. It was just her in my universe. Of course, problems always arise in the most wonderful of moments. We were both tied to other people; people who both loved us more than we could ever imagine. I was always stubborn and took risks so I kept going until she stopped me from visiting her. I always knew and had thought of the consequences before courting her again. I tumbled in tears and turned my mind upside down deciding. I had to do it. Whatever the reactions from my actions. I have only one life to live and I can no longer spend that life reliving and going back to the past. This was the period from a long journey of romance and dreams that I was searching for. Although to many I am a culprit, but I would rather be a culprit once in my life and even wear the scarlet letter forever, so that I may live and love truly.

For one moment, Laura came in my life and forever changed it. I have never been the same nor will I ever become that innocent in love again. Through the experiences and risks I have taken and because of her, I have become a better and a stronger person in whatever tribulations I will encounter. I have found the reason and the answer and realized that memories are just moments we create from our everyday lives.