I never wanted to be in this shambolic skit anyway.

I always wanted to be a . . . a LUMBERJACK!!

Leaping from tree to tree!
As they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia!
With my best girl by my side!
The Larch! The Pine! The Giant Redwood Tree!
The Sequoia! The Little Whopping Rule Tree!

We'd sing! Sing! Sing!

Oh . . .
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day

Mounties:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Lumberjack:
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping,
And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping,
And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Lumberjack:
I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I dress in women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He dresses in women's clothing,
And hangs around in bars?

He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Lumberjack:
I cut down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels,
Suspenders . . and a bra??
(spoken) What's this? Wants to be a "girlie"? Poofter!

Girl:
And I thought you were so rugged!

ALL:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day!