PHOBIA!!!!!!
and other fascinating mental quirks

A collection of weird and wonderful fears - some of which just have to make you wonder . . .

In no particular order, then . . .

Oh all right, for convenience we'll make it alphabetical!

ALEKTOROPHOBIA - fear of chickens
ANTHROPHOBIA - fear of flowers (the hydrangeas are out to get me, man!)
ARCHIBUTYROPHOBIA - the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one's mouth
ATOMOSOPHOBIA - fear of atomic explosions
CENOPHOBIA - fear of new ideas or new things (no, that's the Tory party)
DUTCHPHOBIA - fear of the Dutch (the dykes are out to get me! Wait, that's homophobia)
FRANCOPHOBIA - fear of the French (being a sufferer may be a sign of rational thought)
HIPPOPOTOMONSTROSESQUIPPEDALIOPHOBIA - fear of long words (we kid you not)
OCTOPHOBIA - fear of the figure 8 (right . . . )
PARTHENOPHOBIA - the fear of young girls
PENTHERAPHOBIA - fear of mother-in-law (understandable)
PHOBOPHOBIA - the fear of fear itself
POGONOPHOBIA - the fear of beards
XANTHOPHOBIA - fear of the colour yellow
ZEMMIPHOBIA - fear of the great mole rat

Things that make you go, "hmm" . . .

COMPULSIVE TANNING DISORDER - yes, folks, if you obsess about your tan, organise your life around tanning opportunities, and get stressed if your tan is fading, YOU ARE A SUFFERER!

HAPPINESS - sufferers of this crippling condition may display signs of impaired judgement and irrational thinking. We kid you not.

STAR TREK ADDICITION - ever seen "Galaxy Quest"? You have no idea.

How do you know if your best friend is a Vampire? They may have some of the following . . .

ALLIUMOPHOBIA - fear of garlic
ARSONPHOBIA - fear of fire
CATOTROPHOBIA - fear of mirrors
ECCLESIOPHOBIA - fear of church (or maybe they just went to a Catholic school . . .)
EOSOPHOBIA - fear of dawn or daylight
GEPHYROPHOBIA - fear of crossing bridges (running water, right?)
HAGIOPHOBIA - fear of saints or holy things (NOT things with holes in)
HELIOPHOBIA - fear of the sun
HIEROPHOBIA - fear of priests or sacred things
HYDROPHOBIA - fear of water
PYROPHOBIA - fear of fire
STAUROPHOBIA - fear of crosses
XYLOPHOBIA - fear of wooden objects (stakes, people, stakes)

If you suffer a particularly odd phobia or other "mental illness" you feel the public should be warned about, let us know at
[email protected]

For more information on phobias, try the Phobia List site. But y'all come back now, y'hear!