Allan, The Most Unholy Beast, is the creature mentioned in some of our stories here on the Green Death Cult Page, and the cause of Global Warming, World War II, Idaho (The Potato State ;) ), The pot shortage in Brandon, Manitoba, and many cult members' mental anguish. He is the foul thing that stalks us.
His first appearance was in the tent one summer's eve (see "Ouija Game" in the stories section) and was most unwelcome, not to mention trippy. Ever since then his presence has haunted us (particularly Asshock and I) relentlessly. This is the story of how he came to be.
Allan was a dorky dude, fresh out of high school. He had just arrived on his new campus at some far distant College at some far distant town. Ready to get settled in and search out handy hiding places from unruly students, he headed up to his dorm. Opening the door, he was surprised to see who his roommate was.
Satan stood up and offered his hoof for a shake. "Hi im Satan." he said. Allan shook hand/hoofs with Satan and asked "Satan, how did you end up going to college in this far and distant town?" Satan proceeded to tell Allan about how its so hard to keep a good job for all eternity without keeping up with the changing technology of today and getting a proper education. "They didnt have college back in my day," Satan said, "Unless you had a rich papa or were one of them monks. I hated monks, they were dorks like you." Allan nodded, and told Satan he wanted to be cool. Satan went on to ask Allan why he wanted to be cool when he could be evil. Allan thought about this for a split second, then asked Satan if he would teach him everything he knows about being evil, for Allan was sick and tired of the dork life. Satan agreed to take Allan under his (black, dragon-like, and irritatingly noisy) wing, and show him the ropes of evilness. And thus, we have the product of Satan's teachings. The Lord of the Underworld's very own Protege, Allan.
Unfortunately for us, The Green Death Cult, Allan has his sights set on tormenting us for all of time immemorial. Oh hurray. Oh frabjous day. Callooh, callay. (see "Jabberwocky" under "Trippy Poetry")
There have been many an adventure involving Allan, the most significant being the Annihilation of Time (no story correspding to this on this page.... yet.) I would give you a brief outline of the events, but I dont feel like it so fuck off.
Now you know all that you need to, and if you ever see this wretched creature, dont introduce yourself, just tell him to go fuck himself and he probably will.