-the myth behind the man-
Turmoil! Intrigue! Social conflict! And lots of Greek Funeral Cheese! These are just a few things, that when spoken, bring to mind only one man: Rick James. But we're not here to talk about Rick James. We're here to speak of a man so bold, so corageous, so incredibly good looking, that even his favorite cat, micky, shutters at the mere mention of his name. That's right kiddies, we're talking about Mr. L. Who is this mysterious man? Why does he stand for all that is blue? And does he dress himself, or let a 200 year old nun with culinary experiance perform this morning ritual? these questions and more will probably not be answered due to the simple fact that i will probably forget about them as i go on. Anyway, where should i start...ahh yes. Stanley. Only a town of its stature could bare such a man. Mr. L. was born Baby L. on the blessed eve of July 8th, 1981. His parents were busy trying to auction off their '87 Magnovox Home Entertainment center and didn't have the time to make sweet, sweet love down by the fire. So before they left, they tied up great aunt Flo's goldfish, Kyle, next to the family shoe horn and let nature take its course. Well, little did anyone know, but Kyle had been dead for quite some time now, and was being controled by a secret organization of mud beavers bent on the domination of the Blimpie Sub Co. So the shoe horn was left on its own. At about 9:22 pm, Mr L. was thrown into this world by means not suitable to mention. He grew at an immense speed and was able to skip many of the grades in school thought nessessary to have a stable future. So i guess he really began his life at the tender age of 14, when he entered the eighth grade of his earth school. It was then that Mr. L. met his beloved Miss K!!!~Soon the two became inseperable, and Mr L. figured it was time to let the love of his life in on his little secret. He took her to his favorite breakfast nook, the Waffle Works and told her the story of how he had been abandoned by KKreelongs on his home planet and forced to survive on his own with only 22 slabs of Sure Fine butt steak, and a green shoe. Well, Miss K was so turned on by his honesty that she too decided to reveal her secret. She was in fact a 200 year old jungle warrior, code named Mistress Ninja! Mr. L and Miss K. were so happy that they decided to leave Stanley and head to a warmer climate. So off too Zeenon x-22 they went. The two lovers spent many years at Marcus Whitman, the Zeenon establishment for gifted youngsters, learning of earths weeknesses, so they could execute their brilliant plan. It was at that very institute that Mr. L. was introduced to Dr. P, a thriving pediatrist who specialized in broken ears. After years of friendly chatter over tea and strumpetts, the two found out that they both had the same diabolical scheme in mind! What was that scheme you ask? why to kidnap bob sagat and force him to sell us all his barry manalow albums so we may reinstitute our trade aggreement with southern sri lanka. Wasting no time Dr. P quickly called a man by the name of Mr. Will. About 27 seconds later, Mr. Will was in on the plan! Mr. L collected all his pencil shavings, mixed them with some yak phlegm and bottled them up. Miss K used all of her life savings to purchase 5,000 tons of cool mint life savors, and with that the scheme was underway. Bob sagat came pretty easily seeing as Mr Will had already blew up Bobs apartmentment, but not before eating Bobs year supply of creme cheese he won from the the local petting zoo. Bob was needless to say an emotional wreck. with everything in place, only minutes remained until all of eastern bolivia would be a smoldering pile of urine. And now for something completely different. Mr L was born a dust buster and remained that way until the late 1800's when a certain Ulysees Reginold III bought a house near a water fall, shot his dog and ate so much elderberry pie that he blew a hole right threw his left esophogus. well that just about did it for Mr L. he quickly moved to the hamptons, where he started a dry wall/egg nog shop. things were going pretty well until he died. after that business was slow, so Mr L relocated to Stanley. after becoming an honorary Apache Chief, he transmogrofied into a large log and was given the Apache name Mr L, meaning "Hey, get off my sofa moose!" well things were looking up for Mr. L , they certainly were!
the end......or is it? BUM BUM BUUUUUUMMMM!!!
