Have you ever wondered where the Easter Bunny gets his eggs?
Well, you are about to find out.

In typical parental style, adults rather than confronting a problem, have lied once again to children all over the world. Children for years have been fearful of a "boogeyman" or something under the bed wanting to get them. They weren't that far from the truth...
The "boogeyman" is a particularly hideous species of rabbit, an evil creature which lays dormant for most of the year hibernating, but as with all creatures there are acceptions to the rule - i.e. the so called "boogeyman" sightings.
Upon discovery of this creature scientists tried to erradicate it as fast as possible to avoid a widespread plague, but their efforts were in vein for the rabbit had spread throughout the world by the time of its discovery. It awakens only once a year. Easter.
Parents knew that children would not sleep knowing there is a possible threat of an evil rabbit wanting to kill them, so they developed a story to make sure children slept. An "Easter Bunny". Not completely wrong but definately a stretch of the truth. The "Easter Bunny" sneaks into houses during the night and looks for any children who are awake. If there is a child so unlucky as to be awake upon its arrival the "Easter Bunny" turns this child into a chocolate egg. The egg is then taken out of the house, and placed randomly in another, or outside (commonly found after following the "easter bunnys" footprints), as a threat for those children who were not awake that year. Perhaps the reason most parents prefer to stay inside while their children search for their easter eggs? Could it be that the guilt weighs heavily on their shoulders, knowing their child is now going to be responsible for devouring another child? The eggs once devoured by children leave only memories of the children they once were.

The biggest problem that has arisen recently is the large increase in deaths between 1980 and 2000. More children than ever have been trying to stay awake to catch a glimpse of the Easter Bunny in their house, or outside. More and more children have been disappearing over this easter holiday, and more and more eggs have been appearing all over the world.

Ofcourse there has been a cover up, the government have employed chocolate factories all over the world to produce and stock Easter Eggs, Rabbits, etc in shops everywhere, to try and hide the truth from children who were becoming suspicious that eggs were not available for purchase around the mid 1930's. So companies such as Cadbury have been given a large sum of money to create these items and sell them to the public. Ofcourse parents have no need to buy them because as we all know it is not Cadbury who really produce these eggs. Why else do you think you rarely see your parents actually BUYING the eggs?

Next time you are considering staying up to see the Easter Bunny, we recommend you do not! For you will most likely become yet another of the Easter Bunnys victims, (a grand total reaching into the billions as of 1990). This rabbit is considered as the most deadly creature known to man.

The writer of this piece prefers to remain anonymous to protect his/her identity.