"So when did you and Taylor do it?" 

I nearly choked on my banana milkshake when Zac spat that question at me. While I was fighting to swallow my drink while lying flat on my back, Zac burst into hysterical laughter. 

"Sorry!" He said, not intending on hiding his amusement. 

I got my breathing back on track and relaxed back on the grass of the back yard, setting my milkshake aside for the time being while Zac sat Indian style, gazing up at the stars. 

I too started to watch them. They were so clear out in the country, they were nothing like I'd ever seen before. In the city where I used to live, you were lucky if you could spot a few stars in between high rises, and there was no chance in hell of ever seeing the moon. But out in the country, the stars stretch for galaxies, and sometimes you feel like you can see every one of them. 

"But seriously," Zac laid back on the grass, his hands behind his head, "When did you guys do it?" 

I hesitated for a moment and bit my lip, "That night he took me to the movies,"

"That day when we ate that whole tub of ice cream?"

"Yes..."

"Dang," Zac chuckled.

"Exactly," 

"Anyway," Zac looked over at me then back to the sky, "I just had to ask you that. For my own reasons,"

"It's ok Zac, I don't mind,"

Zac smiled. 

"I have to talk to Taylor."

Zac looked over again, "I know,"

I sighed and wondered how he was feeling; if he'd forgotten about it or if he hated my guts. Or if he still wanted us to be together. 

"Kids! Come and get some dinner!" My mum called from the back verandah which dragged us from the stars back to reality.

Zac and I smiled at each other, acknowledging all the subjects we'd neglected to touch on, simply because they were too complicated. I guess we both just hoped, like Taylor and Reilly, that the break-in would begin a mistake and stay a mistake. We giggled nervously and picked ourselves up off the grass.

"Hey, The Sixth Sense is on TV tonight," I said.

"Oh really?"

The screen door clicked shut behind us as we continued our mindless jabber, galaxies away from the stars. 

-    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    - 

(cut to school some time the next week: on the front lawn at lunch)

"Has Connor spoken to either of you yet?" Reilly asked.

"No, he hasn't," I replied.

"Me either," 

"Man, we're so fuckin lucky," Reilly shook his head, un able to believe it. "The shit people get in for break and enter these days...and we walk off without a scratch,"

"I wonder if the brick through the window worked," Zac said. 

"You know, now that I think of it, that was a really good idea," I said. Zac did a little sitting-down bow and laughed it off. 

"I've decided I'm going to see Taylor tonight," I said next. Reilly and Zac nodded. 

"Well it's been, how long?" Zac said, counting the days on his fingers, "Three days and one night? That's not bad,"

"How has he been at home?" 

"You know, he's Taylor,"

"So he talks to you like normal?" 

"Yeah," Zac replied, "But I can tell he's still upset underneath it. That's just how Taylor is, he's very emotional. He likes the idea of fighting with someone and being angry, but after a little while the novelty wears off and he just wants to make up,"

"...I just want to tell him the truth, be totally honest with him. And I want him to come out of it as my friend,"

"That's not entirely impossible," Zac said and Reilly nodded, both of them supporting my decision.

-    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    - 

(cut to after school: walking home with zac)

"I'm nervous,"

Zac chuckled and wrapped his arm around me, "Don't feel nervous, silly, it's only Taylor. And remember what I told you today,"

"That he's a big softy and is over the whole fighting thing,"

"Exactly,"

"I'm still nervous,"

Zac chuckled again as we walked around the curb of his street, "Will you stay for dinner?"

"Yes. That's if everything goes well, if it doesn't then you'll know about it...Just don't make any promises to your Mum,"

"My mum,"

"Excuse me?" I said, fighting off a laugh.

"Mum," He said, followed by a giggle. He was fascinated with the word. "I'm going to say Mum instead of Mom from now on,"

"You really are very strange, you know that?"

"Yes, I do. I probably got it from my Mum," With that, Zac started laughing, and kept laughing before we past the next two houses until we reached his. 

There wasn't much noise in the house once we got inside. It seemed as though the little kids weren't home so the only sounds were of his mother cooking and Oprah playing on TV with no one to watch it. 

"Hey Mum, is Taylor home?"

Diana gave Zac a peculiar look, "Um, yes. He just got back from work. He was in the study last time I checked,"

Zac nodded and took off down the hall. 

Diana looked at me, "Did he just call me Mum?"

"Don't ask," I laughed and followed Zac. When we got to the study, the door was shut and locked. I grinned and remembered the tour Taylor gave me, showing the study to be his pride and joy since it was the only lockable room in the house. 

"Who is it?" Taylor called through the door after Zac tried to open it.

"It's Zac. How come you locked the door?" 

"So that you can't get in,"

"Right. Well, I have to get my sketch books out. Do you mind?" 

We heard Taylor huffing from inside. Zac shooed me to the side of the door out of vision. The door clicked open, Zac went in and came back out quickly. Right after he came out, I went in. 

Taylor was underneath the desk, switching some computer cords around. 

"Get out Zac!"

"Um..."

Taylor froze. 

He slowly backed out from under the table with his back still facing me. 

"Taylor..." I shuffled around nervously, unsure whether to cross my hands in front of me or leave them in my pockets. I decided on the latter.  "Um. I need to talk to you,"

Taylor slowly turned around, his face still looking as angry as when we stormed out of my house. I swallowed hard and wished I could kick Zac. My ass he's dying to make up.

"Come to push the dagger in even further?" He said, his voice thick with spite. 

I swallowed again. If I was nervous before, it had doubled.

"No Taylor, I'm here to talk about...About the situation,"

"Oh, it's a situation now?" 

"You know what I mean by that,"

"Yes I do, actually. I know that this is a 'situation' because I've inconvenienced you, and for that, I'm very sorry. I'm sorry for taking up your precious time,"

"Why are you being such a coward?" I asked, unsure as to why I felt the heat of tears springing to my eyes. 

"Me? You're telling me I'm the coward?"

"Yes, I am. You're the one hiding behind this anger, you can't handle the rejection,"

"You bitch," 

"I can't believe I want to hate you, Taylor," I said in a low voice, utterly disgusted with myself and with him. I ran from their house without saying good bye to anyone and went in the direction of my house, no matter how long the walk was. 

I hadn't gotten far before I knew I was being followed. I stopped at the side of the park, a quarter of the way to my house and spotted a car. Taylor's car. I suddenly felt sick. I turned around and kept walking. 

"Kirby!" He shouted. I still ignored him.

"Kirby! The least you can do is fight with me after hurting me like you did,"

My anger started to show it's ugly head yet again. I stopped and turned around. The engine was cut and he got out of the car. 

"Why are you doing this, Taylor?"

"Doing what? Being as mad as I deserve to be?" 

Taylor's voice was surprisingly calm. He sat on the bonnet of his car and waited for an answer. 

"I didn't mean to make you this mad," 

"You must have meant to use me, though,"

I was utterly confused. The words coming out of Taylor's mouth weren't matching his calm tone of his voice.

"I didn't mean to use you," I scoffed and sighed, "I can't believe this,"

"Believe what?"

"That this conversation is even happening...I'm not like you Taylor, I don't talk about things like this. When I'm angry with someone, I tell them, I don't winge and complain like most girls do. I hate complaining...I hate..."

"You hate talking openly about intimate subjects," 

"I never said that,"

"But it's what you mean, Kirby."

"Fine, so what if I do. Why is that such a bad thing? Haven't you seen those people before, Taylor? Take any couple, even in movies, and the girl demands the guy to tell her all his feelings. Guys hate that! I hate being that! Why don't you?"

"This is different, you should know that this isn't a relationship,"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this, you were the one who thought we were a couple," I said, watching him in amazement. 

"And am I such an idiot to believe that? The way you were around me...The things you said to me...you meant more than just a fuck Kirby-"

"Shut up!"

"No, I won't shut up," Taylor edged towards me. "How could I ignore those feelings? You'd look at me and it'd make me feel like you loved me. And when we made love in my car that night, it was...god...it was amazing. It was like everything I felt was between us that night,"

Taylor was standing close in front of me but I didn't want to hear what he was saying. Tears began to roll down my cheeks and I covered my face. "Stop Taylor, stop it," I cried out in desperation, but he kept on.

"You wouldn't talk to me, Kirby, so how was I supposed to know what was going on? I was living in my own little world where we were a happy couple," Taylor's voice was low and I continued to cry, begging him to stop, "But Kirby...as happy as I was...then...Now I know that...I was wrong."

I looked up at Taylor, the tears blurring my vision. 

"I know that we were never a couple, in reality, anyway."

I wiped at my face and got a better view of him. 

"It's just that...nothing like that has ever happened to me before. I've never slept with someone simply for the enjoyment...It was so casual and alien to me. So...It was just a reflex to expect a relationship from it," 

I wiped the rest of my tears away and inwardly swore at myself to stop crying. 

I spoke out in a trembling voice, "Taylor...I...I really didn't mean for this to happen....Especially to you,"

"Kir-"

"Just hear me out. You're my friend, Tay, and no matter how much I've tormented myself in looking for an answer, I can't find any sense in the way I've treated you," This time it was inevitable. The tears streamed down my face twice as strong as before. Maybe it was the fact that I was going out on a limb and sounding like every other female on earth, or maybe it was because what I was saying was true.

"I disgust my self, Taylor...I just...I just can't believe how I've been acting..." I broke down in a mess of tears and anger. I fell down onto my knees and buried my face in my hands. Taylor knelt down on the ground and placed a hand softly on my shoulder. 

"I didn't know you felt this way, Kirby...I guess I've just been seeing myself as the victim...I never...I never thought this would happen," He rubbed my arm, "I don't want you to feel this way, Kirby. I still care about you, a lot. And I mean that in a strictly platonic way," 

I smiled through my tears and looked up at Taylor's concerned face. He took me into his arms and hugged me tight. 

"I'm so sorry...I said some really cruel things to you. I didn't mean any of it," I said, my face resting against his chest. 

He rubbed my arm and kissed the top of my head, "Hey, we're as bad each other. I can't believe some of the stuff I said to you," He said. 

"Are we friends again?" I asked.

"You betcha. I ain't missing out on that free ice cream!"

Taylor and I sat hugging in front of his car for a little bit longer before he drove me home.

-    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    - 

(cut to the saturday morning)

Reilly, Zac, Taylor and I were all watching Dexter's Laboratory (well, to be honest, we were actually trying to mimic Dexter's accent) when Jesse came into the room. He sat on the side of an arm chair tying his shoes with a pop tart hanging out of his mouth.  

"Sheesh, this is rare," I said, watching my brother.

Reilly nodded, "I agree. Who the hell is this guy, anyway?" He signaled to Jesse who tried to eat the pop tart without any hands. 

He finished tying his shoelaces and took the pop tart out of his mouth, "What are you idiots on about?"

"You, dickhead! You're never around," I said, Reilly still nodding his agreement. 

"Well. I'm a busy person," Jesse put the pop tart back into his mouth, grabbed his car keys, waved half-heartedly and left.

"I don't understand that guy," I said, and went back to listening to Zac's rendition of Dexter's accent. 

"What's he been doing, anyways?" Taylor asked. 

"Fucked if I know. He came home at like 4 last night and he's going out again. It's the same every night,"

"He never used to go out at all," I said, "He'd even sleep down in the basement sometimes,"

"Maybe he got a job and hasn't told you yet?" Taylor suggested. 

"Maybe..." Reilly said, evidently considering this theory. 

"We'll just have to force it out of him one day," I said, in the middle of my own Dexter accent. 

"Yeah...I guess..." Reilly said, and went back to his thoughts.