This story is based on characters and situations owned by
Lucasfilm Ltd.  No money is being made and no infringement is
intended. Please do not post anywhere besides the Organa-zation
fanfic site. I don't think this is NC17..

This story was inspired by an organa-zation discussion about
whether or not Han and Leia made love on the way to Bespin.
There are some great stories that deal with this time, but none
where they actually made love. This is my take on what may have
happened.

Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot.
By Industria9 (email -  industria9@hotmail.com)


Princess Leia Organa  had escaped to the relative safety of her
cabin after they had made the jump to lightspeed and were safely
on their way to Bespin. The last few hours had been spent escaping
from that monsters stomach, outwitting the Empire and finding a
safe port for much needed  repairs to the Falcon. Han had been
civil to her during this time and she had responded in kind. Neither
had mentioned the kiss, but they both realised that they would have
to face it once things quietened down. Two hours had passed since
she had made good her escape and she still sat on her bunk not
moving. She had heard some movement on the ship in the last 
hour. She thought it had sounded like Chewbacca; perhaps going to
his cabin. It was late and she knew she should get some rest but her
mind was too active to sleep. She wondered where Han was. Had
he gone to bed also? If so, she was relieved that he hadn't come
looking for her, but a part of her that she was trying unsuccessfully
to ignore was disappointed.

It had been exactly five hours since Han Solo had kissed her, but to
her it seemed as if it had just happened.  She had never felt so
confused. She wasn't used to feeling like this and as much as the
confusion left her frustrated and annoyed there was also a part of
her that was relishing it.  Her mind kept replaying the kiss over and
over again and her body continued to react. She kept telling herself
to stop thinking about it, to stop thinking about him….she had
more important things to think about…but neither her body or her
mind was paying her much attention.  She closed her eyes and
allowed herself the luxury once more of re-living the kiss… the
way his hands had felt touching hers…. his eyes gazing into hers as
his mouth came closer to capturing her own… the absolute feeling
of bliss as his lips had touched hers; barely caressing her own at
first and then asking for more from her. She had been powerless to
resist as his lips had opened hers more fully and his tongue had
pushed its way gently into her mouth. She had stifled a groan as
her tongue had responded with a life of its own and her hands had 
made their way up to the back of his neck and pulled him even
closer to her. She tried to remember where his hands had been.. on
her back or at her waist?… had he moved them or kept them still?..
she couldn't remember and it was driving her crazy!

'Gods, how am I  going to get any sleep?', she wondered She stood
up suddenly and began pacing the cabin.  She decided to start
dealing with how she felt about him; that damn kiss demanded
nothing less from her. The man had elicited many feelings from
her over the last couple of years; she had always tried to
concentrate on the safe ones of frustration, anger and something
akin to friendship.  Now she had to attempt to deal with the
emotions he stirred in her that she had always taken great pains to
ignore. 

'Damn him', she thought,  'how dare he kiss me when he's going to
leave as soon as he can'.  'Perhaps he's looking for a reason to
return after he's paid off Jabba' she wondered, '...or perhaps he
thinks so little of me that he's hoping for a quick fling before he
leaves; to prove that Han Solo hadn't lost his touch with women!'.
She supposed he'd had no problem getting any woman he wanted
into his bed in the past and she was proving more difficult than
most.

No!, she couldn't believe that of him. For all his cockiness and 
insensitivity she knew underneath the bravado he was honourable
and trustworthy. He had shown his true worth over and over again
during the last couple of years. There was a lot more to the man
than the tough veneer he displayed to the world; she had always
known that. The problem was that he hid so well behind that false
veneer when dealing with her.  Could it be that he was as afraid as
her when it came to leaving down his guard and allowing
somebody to get close to the real him? Perhaps the kiss was his
final attempt to see how they felt about each other before he left. 
'Why do things always have to be so complicated with Han Solo'
she sighed. 

Sitting back down on the bunk she resolved to do something
positive instead of hiding out here in her cabin. She realised she'd
been hiding from him since she'd met him. He had managed to find
her at last when he'd kissed her in a way that she had had never
been kissed before and had left her longing for more. She admitted
to herself that if she retreated back into her hiding place Han would
leave and she would possibly spend the rest of her life thinking
about that kiss and wondering what if……

'How pathetic that would be', she groaned.

Was she really that stupid? Was she really going to let this man
walk away from her with just one kiss to remember him by? Was it
fear or pride that caused them both to act the way they did around
each other?  She had never avoided a situation because she was
afraid. Her father had taught her differently. Her pride was a
different issue. Could she swallow it to discover how she really felt
about Han?. She knew what Bail would have told her and she
couldn't dishonour him by not living up to what he would expect
from her.  'What would he make of Han Solo' she mused. She
smiled unknowingly when she realised that the two men actually
had more in common than was obvious from the outset. 'Could
they share something more obvious' she pondered, 'a love for her
that knew no bounds…?' There was only one way to find out.
  
  


Han Solo sat in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon looking out
at the vast expanse of space. Here was a place where he normally
found peace no matter what had happened during the day. Tonight
was an exception . He couldn't stop thinking about her. 

Her mouth had tasted as he'd dreamed it would when he'd kissed
her. He relived how perfect she had felt in his arms and groaned as
his head fell back against the pilot's seat and he closed his eyes. 

'God's' he thought, 'I've kissed enough women in my time, had sex
with more than I care to remember'. But no past experience had
prepared him for this. All he'd done was kiss her he reminded
himself; maybe he was losing his mind.  'Or maybe now for the
first time in your life you know what it's like to kiss a woman
you're in love with' his thoughts threw back at him.  'Yeah', he
admitted to himself… 'Solo you're in big trouble!'

He had always known there was an attraction between them and it
had started out as a fun way to rile her. She was always so easy to
tease and in the beginning it had just been that for him; a mere
distraction from the hum drum that rebellion life could be, in
between the moments of fear and the thrill of victory that he
thrived on. He wasn't sure when his feelings had changed but as the
months went by he had teased her not for the distraction, but
because it was the only time he got a response from her. And he
came to need that response over time. He had hated admitting it but
she had gotten under his skin and he could not bear her
indifference. When exactly he had fallen in love with her was hard
to say, since he was only really admitting it to himself now. But he
had known that he could not leave without knowing how she felt
about him. Hence the kiss! Being interrupted hadn't been part of
his plan. He wondered what would have been said between them if
Golden Rod hadn't come along at that moment. He would never
know. 

He did know that he still had to leave and that thought was killing
him.  If he managed to survive after dealing with Jabba he could
always come back....who was he kidding?, for all he knew she
might not give him the time of day if he did return.

What did she feel for him? Her response to his kiss had been
promising; very promising in fact but hardly enough to judge how
she felt about him. He'd responded to kisses from people that he'd
never thought about again when they were out of sight. He did
acknowledge that Leia of all people did not treat herself or other
people lightly and he felt sure that the kiss they had shared had
meant at least something more than just a curiosity to her. Her
response gave him hope.... but what to do with that hope?  For a
man who loved taking risks he wondered if he was brave enough to 
take the biggest risk he might ever take. Could he risk his heart for 
her?  Sitting there feeling as lonely and as vulnerable as he'd ever
felt in his life he thought at this stage that he had no other choice.
For the moment he was willing to sit in out in the cockpit in the
hope that she might come looking for him. If she did make an
appearance ... well, surely then the risk was definitely worth
taking. 
   
Leia approached the cockpit with caution and trepidation. She
wasn't sure if he was in fact there but knowing him she felt sure
that was where he was "hiding out". What she was going to say if
he was there she couldn't allow herself time to dwell on. She knew
if she stopped long enough to consider the situation she would go
back to her cabin for more pacing and heartache. Taking a deep
breath she pressed the button and the cockpit hatch opened.
Stepping inside it took her a moment to realise that he was actually
there, sitting with his head back against the seat with his eyes
closed. 

She wondered if he was asleep and if there was still time to turn
and get out of there back to the safety of the cabin. Her heart was
beating so loudly she felt sure that if he was asleep, the noise of it
would wake him.  The lights from the ships controls played across
his face and she couldn't resist admiring him.  Just having the
luxury of watching him without having to furtively look away in
case she was caught made her knees go weak and she put her hand
on the back of the co-pilot's seat to steady herself. He suddenly
opened his eyes without warning and turned to look at her. So, he
had caught her 'Han' watching after all! 

Unlike previous similar situations Leia accepted the challenge and
did not look away. Neither did he.  For the first time since she had
met him both of them looked at each other with all their defensives
down.... no wall's or barriers stood between them. It was the most
intense, passionate moment of her life and even if she had
rehearsed what it was she wanted to say to him at this point she
wouldn't have been able to speak anyway. She would willingly
have drowned in his eyes at that moment and she was glad to have
the co-pilots seat to hold onto. What he couldn't yet put into words
she saw in his eyes, and felt certain hers were saying the same
thing's to him.

"I've been sitting here thinking about you," he said softly still
gazing at her.  She realised that his words were going to be as
honest as his stare and she could offer him no less. "Me too…", she
whispered. "…And here I was hoping you were thinking about
me!" he retorted with that lopsided grin of his, having decided to
lighten the mood slightly.  He was rewarded with a genuine smile
and he could sense some of the tension leaving her.

She sat in the co-pilots seat and for a while both of them enjoyed
the silence between them as they gazed out the cockpit canopy.
Both of them were reluctant to break that silence as if they knew
that an understanding was passing between them without words
and neither of them wanted to rush this.  "I have to leave…." he
said eventually, without looking at her. "I know" she replied
accepting it at last without comment. She turned to look at him but
he stayed staring straight ahead and they lapsed into an
uncomfortable silence.

She needed more from him she realised…. a commitment that he
would return and a further commitment to the Rebellion. 'Am I
hoping for too much?' she wondered.  He meanwhile was silently
pleading with her to ask him to return … not for the Rebellion but
for her. He knew he could make no promises to her but if she
asked, he would do everything in his power to come back. They
both suddenly started to speak at once, neither finishing their
sentence. They smiled again at each other as they silently
acknowledged that this was new territory for both of them and they
were still testing the waters; taking their time for fear of making a
wrong move and frightening the other away.

"You first", he said.
 
After a moments pause she spoke. "What about the Rebellion..?"
Once she'd asked the question she realised that she'd said the
wrong thing. To have him commit to the Rebellions cause would
be an outward display of his commitment to her, she believed. It
was what she dreamed of, the man she loved beside her totally
committed to the same cause she was... sharing the same hopes and
dreams..... Attempting to recover she stuttered "I mean, I've never
been sure of your total commitment..."

"You're right to be unsure", he interrupted, annoyed at her for once 
again hiding behind the Rebellion. Deep down he was as
committed as most  to what they were fighting for.... how could he
not be? But his overriding commitment was to her. He couldn't
understand why she didn't see this. "Silly me" he added, "I hadn't
realised this was about your precious Rebellion!"

Feeling immediately indignant she fell into the old trap of closing
down her emotional shutters and reverting to her haughty Princess
role.  "Perhaps we have nothing more to say to each other" she said
in a dismissive tone.  "Right  again" he retorted through clenched
teeth, deciding that this woman was never going to give him an
inch. He had to leave.. she knew that. But oh no, unless he
promised to return and swear undying allegiance to the Rebellion
cause it was have a nice life fly-boy!  'Forget it.... forget her' he
thought. "So long Princess..." he mumbled as he stormed out the
hatch door.

It had all happened so quickly. She couldn't understand how it had
all gone so wrong! She sat stunned watching the hatch he had jus
left through hoping somehow that he'd come back and she could
start again. What had made her dismiss him like that? ... years of
practice she supposed. It was a hard habit to break.  'But,' she
berated herself, 'that's no excuse.  She realised that Han Solo was a
man who did not give anything of himself easily, and tonight he
had begun to trust  her with a small part of who he really was. She
understood all too well how precious a gift that was from him and
she had not treasured it as she should have.  Instead she had
allowed her pride to dictate how she acted and brought up the
Rebellion when she knew it would send wrong signals to him.  So;
he hadn't immediately promised to try and return and totally
commit himself to the Rebellion cause .There were plenty of men
who lived for the Rebellion, but she wasn't in love with any of
them.  'How stupid to try and turn Han Solo into somebody else..
to try and fit the ideal of the man I thought I should fall in love
with' she thought as unchecked tears ran down her cheeks.  She
turned and looked back out the cockpit canopy as the tears
continued to flow. 
  
Five minutes has passed and Han Solo was still standing outside
the cockpit door with his head in his hands.  Now that the
immediate rush of anger was over all he felt was an incredible loss.
Was this it? Neither of them could break out of the tried and tested
formula they'd used for the past couple of years. She treated him
with disdain and he fought back with cutting remarks and a devil
may care attitude. Somehow tonight he'd begun to believe that
there was more to them as a couple than what people saw on the
surface.  That this was the woman who would know the person he
had learned to hide since he was a child; the person who showed he
was hurting every now and then... the person who was afraid to
love but when he did, loved without question or measure... the
person who would hold her while she slept and watch her in the
half light and wonder at his fortune.  Surely that dream was too
precious to give up on just yet..... 

She heard the door opening behind her and couldn't quite believe
he'd returned. Afraid to turn around to discover it was Chewie she
wiped futilely at her wet cheeks and tried to keep breathing as he
sat back down in his seat.

"I'm sorry I left" he said. "Of course I'm committed to the
Rebellion,  to Luke, and everybody else involved. But mostly Leia,
I'm committed to you. If I do manage to come back and I'm afraid
that's a big if, it's you I'll be coming back to. Don't you know I'm in
love with you..."

After the immediate shock of making sure she'd heard him
correctly, the reality of what he'd actually said hit her and her tears
started afresh.  "I know" she choked after a moment. "I'm sorry too,
it was my fault...."  The tears stopped her from saying any more
and she turned to look at him, not trying to hide the tears any
longer. He gestured for her to come to him and she stumbled out
of her seat. He took her into his arms as she sat on his lap and
burrowed her face into his chest. They stayed like that while she
cried into his shirt and he rubbed her back rocking her gently in his
arms. His lips found the top of her head while he drank in the smell
of her hair. Her tears subsided eventually and she lifted her head
but did not look at him. "I feel stupid" she muttered.  Taking her
chin in his hand he brought her face up to look at him. Wiping her
tears with his thumb he gave her that lopsided grin again.  "I like
my women to do stupid things every now and then " he retorted. 
"It makes me look better!"   Laughing now through the tears she
asked "Women?"   "Woman," he corrected. "Definitely woman."

His fingers dried the last of her tears and he slowly began to touch
her face, moving his fingers down to her lips.  He traced her lips
gently and she gasped from the sensation. She wanted nothing
more than to run her fingers over  his handsome face but she was 
mesmerised by his hazel eyes staring at her lips and the response
his touch  was causing. Shocking herself slightly, she took his
finger inside her mouth experimentally but was rewarded for her
boldness by the gasp he emitted. Tasting his finger was the most
erotic experience of her unarguably innocent life and noting his
immediate response to her act gave her a feeling of power that she
relished. She realised that he was probably very experienced in
sexual matters, and she needed to feel some sense of control to
allay her fears. He ran his finger over her teeth and her tongue
while he moaned her name. She sensed he was allowing her to
move at her own pace and she silently thanked him for not rushing
her. Removing his finger, she at last brought her hand up to his
face and traced her fingers over his brow and his eyes causing him
to close them once again. His breathing was ragged now and as she
shifted her position on his lap he groaned. Unable to stand this
torture any longer he brought his head down to meet her lips with
his own. His kiss was one of need and urgency as he plunged his
tongue into her mouth and kissed her in a way that she had only
dreamed of. She returned the kiss holding nothing back and was
amazed when he suddenly stood up and held her away from him.
"What is it?" she questioned concerned that she had done
something wrong. "Leia, I need you to be sure you are happy with
where this is heading" he said, his eyes pleading with her .She
thought for a second; a second that seemed to be a lifetime to him.
She realised that he was giving her a way out if she choose to take
it. Before she'd stepped into the cockpit the thought of where this
was heading would have frightened her, but now she felt no fear.
She couldn't turn away from this now. She knew it was right for
both of them no matter what happened in the future. Smiling
confidently at him she took his hand in hers. "Maybe we should
move this to your cabin" she said, "I wouldn't want Chewie ruining
the moment." He thought his heart would break at her words and
he took her in his arms once more.  "How on earth did a scruffy
nerf herder like me get so lucky" he asked. "I like my men scruffy
looking," she returned. "It makes me look better."    His laughter
filtered through the ship as they walked hand in hand  toward his
cabin. 

Once they reached the cabin she felt a moment of awkwardness
settle between them once again. The light overhead was bright and
harsh after the dimness of the cockpit. As if reading her mind he
lowered the brightness slightly leaving enough light for them to see
easily. She took in her surroundings slowly. She had been on the
ship often enough but had never been in this room before. Their
relationship had always been an uneasy one; one that did not allow
for the familiarity and intimacy that her being here would have
allowed; so she was interested in it now and what it could possibly
tell her about this man. Looking around, she realised that it wasn't
going to tell her very much.  It was neat to the point of
beingspartan. She could see very few personal items. Han Solo let
very few people matter to him and his room was an extension of
his personality. It would take a lot more than a quick visit to his
cabin to learn anything important about him. Han sat on the bunk
while he watched her look around and wondered what she was
thinking.  Eventually she turned and smiled at him and he
wondered yet again what he had ever done to deserve this moment
in his life. For all his experience he felt like a school boy again on
his first date. He wanted this to be perfect for her; perfect for them
both.  She slowly came over and stood between his legs. He again
held back and allowed her to make a move. Her first one was to put
her hands behind her head and suddenly her hair fell around her
shoulders and down her back. She had never looked more beautiful
to him than she did at that moment. He brought his hands up and
ran his fingers through her hair.  "You are so beautiful" he said.
"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are ?"   "With you, yes,"
she replied, and was surprised to realise that it was true. She had
always been too busy as a young Senator or as a Rebel Leader to
consider such things but tonight she was learning a lot of new
things about herself. "You make me feel beautiful."  She leaned
down and they kissed each other gently and slowly. He lay back
onto the bunk taking her with him so she lay on top of him. They
stayed kissing like this for a few moments allowing the heat and
need to develop slowly between them. He ran his hands over
herback allowing his fingers to tangle in her hair. Groaning s
ftly he moved her over him and onto the bunk beside him
withoutbreaking their kiss. Now he was over her holding himself
up on his elbows making sure not to crush her. He broke the kiss
and gazed once more into her eyes.  Leaning on one elbow he
moved his hand to her breast and then slowly started opening her
jacket never breaking eye contact with her. She watched him in
wonder as he proceeded to undress her slowly kissing each part of
her body as he exposed it.. her arm… her shoulder…her foot…her
knee… her thigh ..her breast. Soon she was totally naked still
watching him as he drank in the sight of her lying on his bunk. She
was amazed that she didn't feel shy but he was watching her in a
way that made her feel totally comfortable anticipating his next
move.  "You're the experienced one here" she smiled, "but I do
believe that you're over dressed."  "Mmm", he moaned as
he snuggled her neck, and caught her earlobe between his teeth
causing ripples of desire to course through her body. "Now, Han,"
she whispered. "I want to feel your skin against mine."  Delighted
with her response he quickly removed his own clothes and she did
get to feel his skin against hers.  Even though she was
inexperienced she quickly realised that he was a skilled lover,
giving of himself openly and freely. Without words he explained in
detail to her, the phrase 'to make love' and she learned quickly. He
made love as he flew she decided....with a fierce passion, a careless
abandon that hid his total concentration, a boyish enthusiasm and
above all a love that new no bounds. Since Alderaan had been
taken from her she had never felt at home anywhere. At last she
did.

Afterwards, as they lay on top of the bunk in each others arms,
their legs intertwined he continued to rain kisses on her neck and
shoulders and breasts. "I can't stop touching you" he apologised, 
Taking the blanket from the bottom of the bunk she pulled it up
over them both and leaned over him to dim the light further. She
could still see his face lying beside her watching her. She was still
getting used to this face of his that he had shared with her for the
first time tonight. It was so expressive it was hard to believe that it
was the same man she'd known for the past few years.  Lying there
she couldn't stop her thoughts turning to him leaving. How could
she carry on without him after this?. She had no regrets though,
only a feeling of panic that she had so nearly missed this. "What
would you have done if I hadn't come to find you tonight?" she
asked, curious now. "I'm not sure" he said, brushing her hair from
her forehead as he spoke. "I needed you to make the first move
tonight by coming to find me. I'd played my best sabacc card
earlier on and like the good gambler that I am I had to be patient
and allow you to move in your own time.  Mind you it was going
to be a very long night in the cockpit if you hadn't shown up."   
"So you were there waiting for me Han Solo," she laughed,
"knowing all along that I'd show up."  "No Leia, I was hoping," he
whispered. "Always where you were concerned I was hoping."
Satisfied with his answer for the moment, Leia allowed herself the 
luxury of enjoying being held by this man that she loved. She 
realised that she hadn't told him she loved him yet. She'd tell him
soon enough she decided as she drifted off to sleep. Anyway she
mused, he knows!