× Disclaimer ×
This is my story, but George Lucas, Lucasfilm, and
20th Century Fox own the characters and names.  I
just used them to write my version of the Star Wars 
universe.  Absolutely no money (none, nada, negitivo)
was made by me off this story.

Comments: chiefofstate@hotmail.com

Drifting 
By Roman Reynolds
3/6/1998
Setting- 5 months prior to COPL, 3.5 years after ROTJ.

		 * 		 *		  * 	

Han casually strolled down the beautiful streets of  
Coruscant's Imperial City.  As a child he remembered 
walking down these very same streets, Shrike at his 
side, as he swindled the rich.  Never did Han imagine 
he'd belong here one day.   Now here he was; a New 
Republic general, suited in his dashing NR uniform 
that he found stiff and unnatural.  Over the past three 
years he'd donned this uniform almost everyday.  He 
went  to work commanding troops, helped rebuild a 
republic, but, his life seemed somehow unsatisfying.  
Sure he had a wonderful job, lots of respect, and of 
course a lovely....girlfriend, but it didn't seem like 
enough to him.   That's why he was so exited about 
the message Admiral Ackbar had left for him.  Usually 
when Ackbar had a message for Han, he'd end up on 
some backwater planet welcoming some outer rim 
territory into the New Republic.  

On these little "missions" he was always at Leia's 
side as she greeted the planet's inhabitants into the 
ever growing government.  These were just like 
vacations away from his boring schedule.  Then they 
would go off into some remote, romantic, secluded 
nook and be together, something they had not been for 
the longest time.  

He'd reached Ackbar's office by now, and was about 
to open the door when he felt a tap on his shoulder.  
Then and arm slid around his waist and embraced 
him in a tight hug. "I thought you'd be coming here 
this afternoon."  Came the oh so familiar voice behind 
him.

"Hey sweetheart," he said before scooping Leia up 
in a tender, wet kiss.  "Yeah, Ackbar called me over, 
I think we may be taking on of those lil' getaways  I 
know you love so much."  With those words spoken 
he gave Leia his famous lopsided grin.  His smile was 
enough to send a rush of energy through her entire
body; oh how she loved that grin.

"Well general, I have a meeting in about ten minutes 
upstairs, but why don't you stop by my apartment 
later and we can *celebrate* our new found travel 
plans."

"I like the sound of that."  He took in a deep breath 
of her flowery aroma, she smelt so good.  He missed 
her so much.  He missed *this* so much; just being 
in her presence.   They'd been drifting apart, if not 
by emotion than by duty.  He was busy, she was busy, 
the galaxy was busy.   

Everything was mad now, as the government began 
it's rebuilding.  Everyone was in a rush this way or 
that way.  It was better back in the simpler times.  
When they'd go to fight off imperial troops and slept 
in makeshift bunks.  Back in the days shortly after 
the Empire had crumbled.  Now things were always 
hectic.

He stepped back and admired her form.  Her tight ivory
gown that clung in all the right places was hidden 
beneath loose but flattering crimson robes that flowed 
to the ground. 

Leia continued, "I should be out of my meeting in an 
hour;I'll make dinner for us."

"Sounds great sweetheart, I'll get some wine.  Hey, 
maybe if we're lucky we'll actually get to dinner 
this time."  He gave her one of his cocky smiles and 
winked at her.  Last time they'd been together for 
dinner at her apartment, dinner wasn't exactly what 
they were eating.

"You're terrible, nerfhearder,"  She said mocking 
his leer and playfully elbowing him in the ribs.  Han
bent at the waist pretending to be injured as Leia 
nudged hi  again. "Okay, see ya in about an hour then."

"Sure thing." They kissed goodbye, and Han walked 
into Ackbar's office quietly whistling to himself.  
Leia walked off in the opposite direction towards 
the main palace conference room.

As Leia walked towards her final meeting of the 
day a devious smile turned her lips.  Was tonight 
going to be the night?  Was this vacation all that 
they needed?  Would Han finally ask her to marry 
him?  

For the last year or so Leia had been hinting to him.  
She'd bring up the idea of one day having kids, or 
would casually say something like, "That would be 
a nice place to have a honeymoon," when they saw 
a holo of some romantically exotic world. Through 
all this hinting she came to realize that Han was 
either frightened of the idea of marriage, or just 
didn't pay attention to her.  At any rate, she was 
going to be late for her meeting.  As if she could 
concentrate on business at the moment.

It seemed that in the past few months an Imperial 
follower named Zsinj was creating havoc among 
some outer rim planets.  It didn't seem like much 
at first, but was growing into a great problem.  
The whole issue was being handled carefully as to 
not make matters worse,  and rumors of a leak in 
the palace put the situation on a "need to know" 
basis, and most of the delegates didn't "need to 
know". Not even Leia knew the whole truth.  

As she rounded the hall corner and keyed open the 
conference door a sudden sigh came to her..."Just 
think Leia"  she thought to herself, "this time tomorrow 
you could be practicing signing your name Leia Organa 
Solo."  Then her mind added, "but then again that's 
what you say to yourself *every* time he comes over, 
but still Leia Organa Solo does have to much of a nice 
ring to it *not* to put it down in ink."  Leia chuckled 
to herself.
 
She was reminded of many boring meetings when 
she'd filled her data pad with "Leia Organa Solo", 
"Leia Solo", and the all so regular "Mrs. Han Solo".  
Such actions, as she found herself doing so very 
often, seemed like something she'd have done as 
a child.  

Realizing she carried a wide smile on her face, Leia 
promptly brushed it off and took her place at the 
round table next to Mon Mothma.  

"Afternoon, dear"  Mon Mothma's gentle voice greeted 
her.  "Have you gotten the latest news?"  The white 
haired woman sitting in front of Leia had a mixed 
collage of emotions etched on her face.  After being 
around Mon Mothma for most of her life, Leia recognized 
the element of fear in her eyes, but still Leia's elderly 
adviser kept it concealed beneath a thin mask of a smile.

"Not that I know off,"  was Leia's response, she 
really wasn't in the mood for chit-chat.  "Chit-chat 
with Mothma?" The sarcastic part of her brain
blurted out into her mind. "Now there's a thought."  
She struggled to keep a straight face.

"Well Leia,"  Mon Mothma started, "Zsinj has gotten 
control of almost half of the outer rim planet system 
of Bejk.  And that's twenty planets."

"Wow, that's sudden!  I thought it seemed that the 
fleet we sent out hasn't been completely honest 
about all they've reported. I feel that something is 
being left out...you have that feeling?"

"All the time dear, all the time." The older woman 
seated next to Leia had always been a role model for 
the young counselor.  Mon Mothma had helped Leia
through her whole career.  Leia though of her as some 
what of a mother, a political mother.  Leia put all her
previous concerns away and shifted into diplomat 
mode.  With that, the meeting began.
		
		 * 		 *		  * 			

Han walked out of Ackbar's office with a grim look 
on his face.  "Oh boy" he thought "This is some mess 
we're in"  Han reached into his back pocket, fingering 
the black velvet box he'd kept there for the past two 
months.  Inside was the beautiful engagement ring he'd 
bought Leia.  He was waiting for just the right moment 
to pop the question.  He had imagined Leia springing 
into his arms, fervently kissing him, saying "yes, yes, 
yes I will marry you!"  He knew she wanted to marry 
him, he'd been picking up on all the hints she'd been 
passing out left and right like a sabacc dealer.  "Now 
what Solo?" he thought.  

He walked through the halls of the Palace pondering 
his predicament.  He finally looked up at the wall 
chrono, it was awfully late.  He'd better be getting 
back up to Leia's apartment.  But how would he tell 
her?  He was planning to ask her to marry him on their 
assumed vacation, but now there was no vacation- 
would he ask her tonight?  "I have to leave *tomorrow* 
morning?"  He'd asked Ackbar, and to his dismay the 
answer was in the positive.  Han slowly made his 
way to Leia's place.  

He though about how much he loved her.  How could 
he do this to her?  He knew what her response would 
be too.  She'd tell him it was his duty to go, and that 
she'd wait for him.  But five months was an awful 
long time, especially at the point of their relationship 
that they were in.  He took the lift up to her apartment, 
and keyed the access code onto the door lock.  Thinking 
to himself about what he was to do if Leia was on 
the other side.  How would he tell her?  If he asked 
her to marry him she'd be crushed when had to leave, 
and if he didn't, she might never know.  Han was scared, 
a feeling he had not felt in a long time.  As the door 
swished open over a thousand thoughts came to his 
mind.   His qualms were rested when he realized he 
was alone...."where is she?"  He wasn't so much worried 
as he was mad.  

Here he was alone once again!  "Damn it Leia, where 
the hell are you?"  He looked at her chrono in her 
living area.  It had been an hour and a half...."Come 
on Leia." He sat himself down on her couch after he 
chilled the champagne he'd bought.  Special occasions 
called for a special drink, and the Alderaanian 
sparkling white he'd bought was Leia's favorite.

As he waited for her, Han flipped through the pre-
programed holo-vids on her holo-screen, then started 
rummaging through her pantry for something to ease 
his hunger.  Finally he found himself nodding off, on 
her couch once more.  Glancing over to the chrono he 
realized he'd been waiting for an two hours.  "Damn it 
Leia" he cursed under his breath.  He was honestly 
hurt, she was never this inconsiderate.  

Suddenly Leia rushed through the door.

"Han!" She cried as she entered.   She put down her 
data pad and slipped out of her over-robe."The 
meeting lasted a bit longer than I expected."

"Really?" He sarcastically shot back at her, "I hadn't 
noticed."

"Oh, stop that"  She ran over to him on embraced him 
firmly, "Sorry."  She then hurried over to the kitchen 
and started working on dinner.

"Oh, that's all fine and dandy, your worship-ness, but 
I still feel a little hurt over here."

Leia returned Han's sarcastic grievance with her most
provoking tone of voice, "Well I'll just have to fix that,
wont I?"

"You better."  Han turned to see Leia start her vegetable 
chopping as she shoved a frozen spiced aric tongue in 
the oven, then placed a kettle of stim tea on the stove 
and set the heating monitor to boil.

Leia scampered over to Han on the couch and pushed 
his magazine aside.  "General, I believe someone said 
they needed some cheering up."  With that she straddled 
him on the couch, placing her knees on either side of 
his thighs.

"Well, let's see just how cheery you can get me."  

"Gladly."  Leia pressed her lips to his in a kiss that 
seemed to take on a life of it's own.  For what seemed 
forever Han just sat back and enjoyed the feel of 
Leia's tongue sliding across his, and her body pressing 
against his lap and chest.  "Apology accepted, your 
highness."  He pushed her onto her back, "that is a start, 
but I may need some more spirit lifting."  Leia squirmed 
in his embrace as he pressed himself into her harder.  
His handslipped under her dress, groping at her smooth 
legs.

"I think you need lifting, but not that kind."  She twined
her fingers through his hair and kissed him once more,
deeply, longingly, but soon pulled away staring into 
his eyes. "Han, what's wrong?"  She pushed herself into 
a sitting position and looked into his deep hazel eyes 
as they scanned her face.  Something seemed wrong, 
and Han seemed extremely frightened.

"Nothing, everything's fine."  He brushed a stray lock 
of dark brown hair out of her eyes; searching his mind 
for a change of subject. "Why don't we just  get to 
dinner, I'll help."

"That's okay," Leia said hesitantly, "you just sit here, 
it wont be that long" She hurried herself over to the 
kitchen busily arranging the chopped vegetables.  

"Hurry up in there" He said in his most mordant tone. 
"I'm not getting any younger."  Han was being more 
sarcastic than usual, and he knew why.  Each joking
comment only hid the feelings that were eating away
at his soul.  His emotions were getting the better of 
him with passing statement.

"Just a minute, just a minute!"  She called out from 
the kitchen.  She placed her plates on the table, and 
took the tongue out of the oven.  It smelled great, and 
looked as good as a blue tongue could.  "Ahh, ready.  
Let's just let it cool for a minute or two."

Han sat fidgeting on the couch.  The real reason Han 
wanted her to hurry up was not because he was hungry, 
it seemed the more time he sat alone, the more time 
he had to think about his dilemma.  Here he was, his 
life more volatile than it had ever been.  He was at 
the crossroads of his life.  He didn't know what to do.  

Leia slipped out to the kitchen and sat next to Han.  
"I know something's wrong, please tell me." He couldn't 
tell her, what if she already knew?  His hand dropped 
to his back pocket searching for the black velvet box.  
What would he do?  Ask her, tell her, or lie.  He chose 
to lie.

"Nothing, I've just missed you.  It feels nice to feel 
your arms around me, and to hold you.  C'mere."  He 
hugged her tighter and more possessively than ever 
before.  No, he wouldn't tell her.  He ran his fingers 
through the thick cascade of hair she'd released from 
it's tight braids.  How he missed her.  How he *would* 
miss her, but he couldn't bring himself to tell the 
truth, it hurt *him* to much!

The stim tea water steamed in the kitchen yet Leia 
didn't break the embrace.  He held on to his lover as 
he released his fears into her.  His emotions traveled 
through her, hitting her like a breaking wave.  She didn't 
know what was wrong, just that it wasn't  "nothing".  

She almost though she heard Han whimper under her 
hold.  "Come on Han."  She said softly, her words  
whispers on his ear.  But nothing, not a word uttered 
from him.  He was like a child, a frightened child 
running to his mother arms after he'd been scared.  
Leia lovingly ran her fingers through his hair, she let 
him rest his head on her shoulder.  He wouldn't let go, 
and neither would she.  Han muttered into her shoulder, 
then looked up at her.  

"I love you."  He said, his voice obviously hiding his 
tears.  

"I know...I love you to."  Leia smiled into his eyes.  
"Now let's go get some dinner."

"Okay. but hold on a sec."  Leia walked to the kitchen,
getting the tea of the stove and placing it next to 
the tongue on the table.  Then taking Han's champagne 
out of the cooling unit and poured two glasses full.

"Okay Han, just hurry up."

Han hurried off through her hall and made like he was
going into the 'fresher.  Leia was to busy cutting the 
tongue to realize he'd gone to her bedroom.

He dug through her closet until he came to a box full 
of candles.  Leia loved candles and always kept them 
around the apartment.  Primitive lighting always 
sparked a flame in her.  She found them sensual and 
erotic Han wanted this night to be perfect.  He set 
the candles throughout the room, lighting a few and 
leaving the others as to not over do it just then.  Boy, 
wouldn't it be romantic if he set her room aflame?  
Next he placed the small black box on Leia's nightstand.  
With it there he gave himself extra support to ask her 
the notorious question. 

He came back into the living area as Leia finished 
setting the table.  The food smelled wonderful, and 
Leia'd shed her layers of robes and was ravishing 
in her snug, white dress.  Han snuck up behind her, 
grabbing her waist and kissing her neck.  "Mmm, 
looks great, sweetheart."

"Thanks, now sit down and eat before it get's cold."  
They took their seats at the table and began eating.  
They talked about this and that.  Somewhere around 
dessert the subject of their "vacation" came up.

"So, what did Ackbar have to talk to you about?"  
Leia took a bite of her cake as she looked at Han.

Han all of a sudden got very nervous, Leia could tell
he was avoiding the subject.  "Actually, that was 
nothing."  'That's it Solo,' he thought to himself. 
"Ackbar just wanted to discuss that Zsinj matter,
you know...uh...just to see if the fleet would be ready
if something should occur....just basic arrangements
and stuff like that."  

"Well, are you planning on an attack soon?"  Han 
wasn't sure if she knew or not.  if she was testing 
him to see what he'd tell her. 

After an awkward moment of silence Han finally 
answered.  "Uh...no, no...not for awhile, honey."

Leia wasn't sure about his answer; Han never lied 
to her but his response seemed thin.  Leia picked 
up her plate and waited for Han to finish the rest 
of his meal before taking them to the sink.  "That's 
good.  Now we can spend some more time together."

"Yeah."  Han got up and helped her with the dishes.
He couldn't believe what he'd just told her.  He flat
out lied.  "I've missed you so much.  Really, I mean,
when was the last time we were together...alone...?"

Leia thought about that for a moment.  "Not for awhile."

The awkwardness in the room grew to a new level.
Han was thinking about his falsity and Leia was
anxiously awaiting a proposal.  Finally Leia took 
Han's hand and led him into the living room; leaving 
the dishes to be washed in the morning.

"Now Han...tell me now!  I know some things eating you.
Just tell me!"  Her no-joking tone told Han he had to
come clean.

Han took a moment to answer.  And when he did answer
he stuttered it out..slowly.  "Well Leia...Oh this isn't 
easy to say." He looked up at Leia eyes, they were 
encouraging him to go on.  How could he do this to her?
'No Solo, you're not going hurt her like this.'  Han
dropped his hand to his back pocket....yes, he'd ask her.
He mustered all the guts he could and got down on one
knee.  

Leia saw what he was doing.   Her joy was bubbling over 
into a ear to ear smile.  As Han reached into his pocket
he realized where he'd left the ring.  'Damn Solo, what
now?'  Thinking fast he smiled back up to her, and then
picked her up off the couch, cradling her in his arms like 
a baby.  "What are you doing?"  Leia said in a half joking,
half confused tone.

"You'll see."

Han took Leia to her room and gently lowered her onto
her bed.  Leia looked around the room at the candles,
and Han went around the room and lit the rest of them.

"Oh Han, this is great.  Is this the reason why you've
been acting so suspicious tonight?"  Leia propped 
herself up on her elbow as Han continued his lighting.

"Yep....uh, we haven't been able to get away lately, and I 
uh, just thought I'd make tonight special."  He voice was
nervous and shaky.

Leia smiled sweetly up at Han, "thank you."  She had
a slight beam in her eye.  A twinkle that mesmerized 
Han.

Han moved himself onto the bed, placing his hands
on either sides of Leia's shoulders so he was hovering 
above her.  He bent down and kissed her passionately.
Sure now of how he'd handle the situation, Han made
up his mind.  He *wouldn't* tell her tonight; he *wouldn't*
propose to her tonight; he *would* make love to her 
tonight.

		 * 		 *		  * 	

It was three in the morning Han hadn't slept a wink.  
He jut laid there, holding Leia tight in his arms, 
kissing her tenderly.  He watched her sleep and 
wondered if this would be her last peaceful dream 
before she found out he was leaving.  Han had made 
up his mind to leave before she woke.  He'd need 
to leave soon too, he still needed to pack for the 
mission.  He just didn't want to stop holding her, 
let go of her, hurt her like that.  He knew he'd screwed 
up big this time.  He should have just told her.  But his 
chance was gone now...nothing left to do but leave.

Han gently got out of bed as to not disturb Leia so
sweetly dreaming.  He groped along the floor to find
his pants, and he got dressed.  For what seemed forever
he just stood there, next to the bed, staring at Leia, 
trying to think of an easier way to leave.  He watched 
her steady breathing, the was she slept with a slight 
smile on her lips, and the overall bliss that surrounded 
her entire face. He wished he could stay forever, but 
dawn was coming, he needed to go.  

Han found Leia's data-pad where she'd left it in the 
living area.  He accessed her note taker and wrote her
a letter..."how pathetic Solo," he thought.  "Leave her
a not...how kind."  He knew no other way to do it.  He
couldn't face her.  He sat himself down on the couch 
and began his letter:

	
Dear my Princess,
I know how much this is going to hurt you, but 
you must know.  I couldn't bring myself to tell 
you last night, I didn't want to hurt you.  I didn't 
want to hurt myself.  By now you probably have 
already gotten the news.  Leia, sweetheart, it's 
my duty to go and I know you agree.  Those five 
months without you are going to be like hell.  I 
left you a gift on your nightstand; I think you get 
the message.  

That's what was on my mind all night.  I should 
have given it to you earlier, but, well Leia I was 
scared.    But not as scared as I am now.  Scared 
you'll leave me. Please don't leave, I love you!  
When I get back we'll work all of this out, and 
then we'll get married.   You have to hear me out 
on this.  The way you make me feel, Leia, the way 
you touch me, so lovingly.  The way you tell me 
just how much you love me.  I've wanted to tell 
you these things for the longest time, and now,
unfortunately, this is the only way I could find to 
do it.  You're going to be busy with this whole Zsinj 
deal, don't worry about me, I'll be fine.   Just 
promise me you'll call me as soon as you get this 
note.  The Falcon will be in the main docking bay 
until noon today, that's when we depart.  After that 
all the communication connections to Coruscant and 
the NR will be cut totally as we reach hyperspace.  
Please Leia, I need you; I love you.
							Love always,
								     Han

It wasn't the greatest letter, Han wasn't a great
literary genius, but it would have to do.  He knew 
exactly what Leia would do in the morning.  She'd 
read her mail on the data pad.  The big news of the 
day would probably be: "NEW REPUBLIC FLEET OFF TO 
DEFEND OUTER RIM"  Then Leia would know where 
Han was.  Then she'd get his message.  She'd be 
crushed, and would hate him.  Hopefully she'd call him 
on the Falcon's private channel and talk to him like 
he'd asked in the letter.  Han hated himself at that 
moment. He hated himself more than anything in the 
galaxy.  He looked upon himself as a monster fleeing 
from the issues he just could not face by himself. He 
set the data-pad down on the counter it was left, 
checked on Leia once more and centered the ring on 
her nightstand.  He kissed her cheek one last time and 
then he was gone.

		 * 		 *		  * 	

Leia awoke to an empty bed.  She wasn't sure if Han
was gone or just in the kitchen.  She go up and put 
on her robe, it was then when she realized Han's cloths
were gone.  Usually he'd be in his robe, but....where
was he?  Leia walked out into the living area and
noticed her data pad was left open on the counter.

Leia opened her mail and read the headlines in the
morning news.  She knew exactly where Han was...
thenshe found his letter.

Leia sunk down on the couch, covering her wet face.  
"Bastard..."  Leia cried out into the darkened room.
An endless stream of tears flowed form her eyes.
She couldn't come to grasps with the situation.  He'd
not only lied to her, but he'd lead her on with the
assumption he'd be around more or even propose.  It 
wasn't fair, but life wasn't fair.  It was a time of 
sacrifice; this was going to be a huge sacrifice.

Her eyes were puffy and red, she looked terrible and 
felt even worse.  "I can't believe he just didn't tell me.  
Damn you Han!"  Leia took the ring and shoved it in one 
of her dresser drawers.  "He thinks he can just leave 
me like this?  Well, then that's fine...he's gone."  Leia 
couldn't believe what the was saying.  She stormed into 
the 'fresher, took a shower and then got dressed.  If 
Han was going off with the fleet, then Han was going 
off with the fleet.  She wouldn't call him, and would 
try not to even think about him.  Leia got her morning 
coffee and was off to attend to *her* business.
+The whole day Leia was fuming.  She was sad, angry,
hurt, betrayed and confused.  The next five months 
were basically the same.  Every day was a trial.  To 
cope she devoted herself to her work told herself not 
to think about Han.  But she couldn't do that.  Leia 
cried herself to sleep every night, and again everyday 
threw herself into the Republic with only an emotional 
semi-breakdown even once in a while.  After these five 
months were over Leia didn't know what she'd do with 
Han.  She learned to forgive him over time, but as soon 
as he got back things would never be the same...............




Copyright ©1998 Roman Reynolds