| One-Liners |
| Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight. Vegetarian- n. Native American slang for "lousy hunter". You have no idea how acutely depressing it is to realize we're from the same species. If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose. I am a nobody. Nobody's perfect. Therefore, I am perfect. My Karma ran over your Dogma. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. I'm not a pessimist. I'm just optimistically challenged. And on the 8th day, God said, "Murphy, you take over." Killer Rabbit's motto: Lettuce prey... It has been recently discovered that research causes cancer in lab rats. If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. No, I'm not feeling violent, I'm feeling creative with weapons. When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one. Super model from Paris = Quarter Pounder with Cheese Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. Support bacteria- they're the only culture some people have. Don't steal. That's the government's job. In Capitalism, man exploits man. In Communism, it's the exact opposite. In Democracy, it's your vote that counts. In Feudalism, it's your count that votes. Kentucky: five million people, fifteen different last names. |
| Home (More to come soon!) |