I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee,
And I can justify
Any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon,
I can get a massage,
Without a hard on.
I can pump my own gas,
and talk to my friends
about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit
to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles,
at any cost,
And I don't have a problem
Admitting when I'm lost.
I never forget
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies
with lots of gore,
And I don't need an instant replay
to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
and I don't get jock itch.
And just cuz I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends
"Oh yeah I can get her."
In your dreams, my dear.
I could do better!
Flowers are ok,
but roses are the best.
Look at me, you idiot,
NOT AT MY CHEST!
I don't have a problem
with admitting my feelings.
I know when you're lying
because you look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a girl, a babe, or a chick.
I am a woman!
Get it you dick?!