manda . r a i //a day at mcdonalds with the backstreet boys

.A DAY AT MCDONALDS WITH THE BACKSTREET BOYS.

We are at the McDonalds next to Longs, because everything must happen at the Longs shopping center. Dude & Dude are standing in line at McDonalds hoping to buy some of the laced fries, when in walks who else but the Backstreet Boys.

Dude1: [SEES THEM WALKING IN THE DOOR] DUDE!!!!
Dude2: DUDE!!???!!?!
Dude1: DUUUUUDDDDDEEEE!!!!!
Dude2: [LOOKS TOWARD THE DOOR] DUUUUUDDDDEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Dude1 & 2: [THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER] DUUUUUUUDDEEEEE!!!!! EEEE!!!!
Dude1: Dude! It's my KevyP!
Dude2: Dude! It's my NickyP!
Dudes: DUUUUDDDEEE!!!

[THEY STARE IN AWE AS THE BACKSTREET BOYS WALK CALMLY INTO MCDONALDS]
Nick: Hey Howie man, what do you want?
Howard: I want a Happy Meal.
Kevin: Now Howard, I told you you were too old for happy meals.
Howard: But I wanna Happy Meal!!
Kevin: Howard. You're. Too. Old. Why the hell do you want a happy meal?
Brian: Oh God Almighty you cursed!! Forgive him father!!
Kevin: Good grief. Why do you want a Happy Meal Howard?
Howard: Because I wanna feel happy! *WINK* *WINK* *CHEESY SMILE* *WINK*
AJ: Hey Howie man you gotta stop with that winking thing.
Howard: Not until you stop with your goatee thing. *WINK* *WINK*
AJ: Dude you copied me.
Howard: Did not!
AJ: Did to!
Howard: Did not!
AJ: DUDE! You DID TO!!!
[THE DUDES HEAR THEIR NAMES AND TURN AROUND]

Dude1: [TURNS AROUND AND COMES FACE TO FACE WITH KEVIN'S CHEST] DUDE!!! *POKE* *POKE* [TURNS TO DUDE2] DUDE!! It's CHISELED!!!
Kevin: [LOOKS DOWN AT DUDE1] Excuse me dude, what do you you think you're doing? Oh, he's my cousin. [POINTS AT BRIAN]
Dude1: DUDE! I know!!!
Kevin: Now why the shittin hell were you poking at my chest?
Brian: Oh good dear God Almighty Father, please forgive my cousin for using such wicked and impure expressions! [GETS DOWN ON HIS KNEES SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF MCDONALDS AND PRAYS, HE GETS UP RUNS OVER TO THE SODA MACHINES AND SPRINKLES SOME "HOLY" WATER ON HIMSELF, BRINGS SOME WATER IN HIS HAND OVER TO KEVIN AND SPRINKLES IT ON HIM TOO]
Kevin: Fuck man, you're getting annoying, even though you're my cousin.
Brian: Oh great evilness! How corrupted it is to hear you use such unholy words! [CROSSES HIMSELF]
Kevin: [TO DUDE1] He's my cousin.

[NICK AND HOWARD FINALLY GET TO ORDER]
Nick: One Cheeseburger Happy Meal please! And a vanilla ice cream.
[NICK GETS THE ICE CREAM, HOWARD GETS THE HAPPY MEAL]
Howard: Oh lookie Nick! It's a Mickey Mouse beanie baby! OoOO I love it!
Nick: Dude! I want that beanie baby! Give it to me Howard!
Howard: [HOLDING MICKEY TIGHTLY] No Nicky! He's MINE!
Nick: No! He's MINE! I WANT HIM!!! [NICK TRIES TO GRAB MICKEY AWAY FROM HOWARD, BUT HOWARD DOESNT LET GO, NICK GETS MAD AND JABS HIS ICE CREAM INTO HOWARD'S FACE]
Howard: Noooooo!!! Mickkeeeyyy!!! I can't see! You're gonna pay for this Nick! [HOWARD STUMBLES AROUND AND BUMPS INTO KEVIN]
Kevin: Who did this to you Howard?
Howard: [SOBBING] Nick! AGAIN!
Kevin: [BOOMING] NICCCCCKKKOOOOOLLLAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!!
Nick: [COMES OVER] [SQUEAK] yes?
Kevin: You've been a bad bad boy for the VERY LAST TIME! Go to your corner!! [TAKES MICKEY AWAY AND GIVE IT TO HOWARD]
Nick: But Kevin..... I don't have a corner here.
Kevin: Oh, that's right. Well then go order for us. Brian, AJ, and I are gonna go sit outside in the playground section. Get three #4's and you can buy yourself a shake or something. No more ice cream though, okay?
Nick: Okay.
[KEVIN, BRIAN, AND AJ GO INTO THE PLAYGROUND OUTSIDE. HOWARD SLOWLY FOLLOWS THEM]

Dude2: NICCCCCKkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyPPPPPPP!!!!!!
Nick: Dude, what do you want?
Dude2: You're my penguin!!!
Nick: Really? Cool! I'm someone's penguin!!
Dude2: Yeah!!! Dude what are you doing?
Nick: Ordering for Kevin, Brian, and AJ. Howard's being a real bitch lately.
[HEAR A THUMP OUTSIDE. DUDE1, DUDE2, AND NICK LOOK OUT TO SEE BRIAN DROP TO HIS KNEES AND FEVERISHLY PRAYING]
Nick: That's Kevin's cousin.
Dude2: Yea! Hey penguin, can we hang around you for a while? Kevin is Dude2's penguin!
Nick: Okay. *I like being someone's penguin. It makes me feel special*
[NICK ORDERS THREE #4's AND A SHAKE AND THEY ALL GO OUTSIDE TO THE PLAYGROUND]

Nick: DUDE!! A Slide!!!
[NICK RUNS UP TO THE PLAYGROUND AND KICKS OFF HIS SHOES HE RUNS OVER TO THE 'YOU HAVE TO BE UNDER THIS HEIGHT CHART', HE'S AT LEAST THREE FEET TALLER THAN WHAT THEY SAY]
Nick: WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! I'm too tall!!! [SNIFF] [SNIFF] [SOB] [SOB]
Dude2: It's okay NickyP! You can still go in! I'll go in with you!
Nick: Really?! [SMILE] Okay! [HE RUNS UP THE LADDER THINGIES TO THE SLIDE, DUDE2 FOLLOWS HIM]
Dude2: Ready Nick? Here, go down the slide now!
Nick: [RUNS, ER CRAWLS WITH MUCH DIFFICULTY, INTO THE SLIDE HOLE] AHhhH!!! I'm stuck!!!
Dude2: [CRAWLS OVER TO FIND NICK'S BIG BUTT STICKING OUT OF THE SLIDE AND THE REST OF HIM IN THE SLIDE] DUDE!
Nick: [SOB] HEEEEELLLLLLPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Dude2: OKAY!! [EVIL LAUGH, PUSHES ON NICK'S BIG ASS] C'mon NickyP, you can do it. Get down that slide. You can do it, you're my NickyP, go on NickyP.... gooooo!!!
[DUDE2 GIVE ONE LAST HARD PUSH AND NICK GOES SLIDING DOWN THE SLIDE]
Nick: WWWWWWHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
[DUDE2 FOLLOWS HIM]
Dude2: whhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! [CRASHES INTO NICK IN THE MIDDLE, HE IS STUCK AGAIN]
Nick: I'm stuck..... AGAIIIINNNN!!!!! [WHINE]
Dude2: It's okay NickyP! [KICKS HIS HEAD DOWN, NICK GETS DISLODGED AND GOES BACK SLIDING DOWN THE SLIDE]
Nick: WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude2: Dude, that was hard work!
Nick: [FINALLY GETS OUT THE OTHER END OF THE SLIDE] Whee!! That was fun! [HOPS OVER TO KEVIN AND EVERYONE ELSE] Hey you guys!! Wanna play wanna play?!?!
Kevin: [STICKING A PICKLE IN HIS MOUTH, WITH DUDE1 DROOLING, NOT BECAUSE OF THE FOOD, BUT BECAUSE OF KEVIN] That's okay Nick, I'll just watch.
Nick: Okay then Kevin. [GRABS DUDE2'S HAND AND DRAGS HER TO THE BALL POOL]

[NICK JUMPS INTO THE BALL POOL]
Nick: Howard!!! Come swim with me!!
Howard: [STANDING ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE POOL] You promise you won't take Mickey away? [GRABS MICKEY CLOSELY]
Nick: Yea Howard, I promise! Pinky-swear! Mickey can come join us!
Howard: [ALL HAPPY] OKAY THEN!!! [HE STRIPS OFF HIS SHIRT] *WINK* *WINK*
AJ: YO Howard dude! I TOLD You to stop stripping and winking!!
Howard: Too bad! [STICKS HIS TONGUE OUT AND JUMPS INTO THE BALLPOOL WITH NICK AND DUDE2]
Nick: Hahahahaha Howard! [THROWS A BALL AT HOWARD WHICH SMACKS HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE]
Howard: Oooooowwwwww That hurt!
Nick: [GRABS ANOTHER BALL AND THROWS IT AT MICKEY'S FACE] HHAahahahah!
Howard: NICKOLAS GENE CARTER! YOU HURT MICKEY!!! RRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! [HOWARD ATTACKS NICK WITH BALLS] THERE SHALL BE NO MERCY! [HOWARD PELTS NICK WITH BALLS]
Nick: [TAKES A BIG BREATH AND 'DIVES' UNDERBALLS]
Howard: THERE'S NO ESCAPING ME WHEN YOU HURT MICKEY MOUSE NICKOLAS GENE CARTER!!! ROOOOOAAAARRRR!!!!!! ['DIVES' UNDERBALLS TOO]
Dude2: What the hay [DIVES UNDER THE BALLS TOO]

[MEANWHILE....... BACK AT THE TABLE WITH DUDE1 & KEVIN.....]
Kevin: [WATCHES NICK & HOWARD 'PLAY'] [HOWARD AND NICK COME UP FOR AIR, NICK IS GRABBING AND PULLING HOWARD'S HAIR, AND HOWARD IS SCRATCHING NICK] They get so old so fast. *sigh*
Dude1: Yea, but hey, you and me, we're already old, right?
Kevin: I suppose so. I'm getting a little arthritis in my knee.
Dude1: NO WAY! Me too!!
Kevin: And a little heartburn too.
Dude1: ME TOO!!!
Kevin: Wow, we're like soulmates.
Dude1: Yeah!!!
Kevin: No diggity.
Dude1: Wow, and do you sometimes go deaf?
Kevin: Yea!!
Dude1: And do you sometimes have your shoulder spasm?
Kevin: Yeah!! ALL the time! Especially when I'm doing something that has to do with science.
Dude1: Wow, we really are soulmates! Duuude.
Kevin: Duuuude.
Dude1: I want some ice, want to get some ice?
Kevin: Sure, let's go get some ice.
Dude1: After all, I don't want you to get heatstroke or anything, seeing that you're my penguin and all.
Kevin: Yea, sure that would suck, let's go get some ice.
[DUDE1 AND KEVIN GET TWO CUPS FILLED WITH ICE]
Kevin: Let's go watch the little children play, shall we?
Dude1: Sure KevyP.
[THEY GO OVER TO THE BALLPOOL]
[NICK COMES UP FOR AIR AND A HAND REACHES UP AND GRABS HIS HEAD AND PULLS HIM BACK DOWN AGAIN, HOWARD THEN COMES UP FOR AIR WHILE HOLDING NICK DOWN. DUDE2 IS ON THE SIDE WATCHING ALL OF THIS AND LAUGHING HER ASS OFF AS NICK'S HAND APPEARS UP THROUGH BALLS AND REACHES UP AND GRABS HOWARD'S HAIR]
Howard: [SQUEALS] NICKKKKKKYYYY STOPPPPPP WHERE'S MICKEY??!!
Nick: [HOLDS UP A SHREDDED MOUSE BEANIE BABY FIGURE THING]
Howard: AHHHHHHHH MICKEY!!! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT NICK! AIIIIIIYYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYOOOOOO!!!!!! [DOES THE XENA YELL AND JUMPS ON NICK, NICK GOES DOWN]
Kevin: Wow, they sure do play rough.
Dude1: Yea, they sure do.
Howard: [APPEARS UP THROUGH THE BALLS] Dude! Nick..... he's drowning!
Dude2: WHAT?!
Howard: [TUGS AT SOMETHING UNDER THE BALLS] I think he's unconcious.
Dude2: AIIIIYYYYAAAAAA [JUMPS INTO THE BALLS AND DRAGS, WITH A LOT OF HELP FROM THE BUFF KEVYP, NICK ABOVE THE BALLS AND ONTO ONE OF THOSE MAT THINGIES]
Kevin: Oh my gosh, Nick are you okay?
Brian: [APPEARS] Oh dear!! I shall pray for him!
AJ: He doesn't need praying dude, he needs a good slap upside the head.
Howard: [SOB] It's all my fault! Now he'll never have another chance to jab an ice cream in my face again!
Dude2: Stand back! I know SBF!
Dude1: Dude, what the heck is SBF?
Dude2: See Ball Fly. It'll fly out of his mouth, watch. [DUDE2 JUMPS ON NICK'S STOMACH FOR THREE MINUTES]
Dude1: Dude, are you sure that's how it goes?
Dude2: Yeah, I'm sure, watch. I've been trained in Ballpool lifeguarding. [DUDE2 JUMPS ON NICK'S STOMACH AGAIN AND THEN SLAPS HIS HEAD A COUPLE TIMES] C'mon NickyP! You can do it!
Kevin: C'mon Nick! I'll never make you stand in your corner ever again!
Howard: Here Nick, you can even have Mickey. [HOWARD PUTS SHREDDED MICKEY ON NICK'S CHEST]
Dude2: C'mon NICKYP!!!! COUGH THAT BALL UP! [POUNDS HIS CHEST]
Nick: [COUGH] [COUGH] [SPUTTER] [SPUTTER]
Dude2: I think it's working!
Nick: [COUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH] [A BRIGHT RED BALL POPS OUT OF HIS MOUTH AND GOES FIVE FEET UP IN THE AIR]
Howard: Wow, lookie, he was just like a whale!
Brian: Oh PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Kevin: You've been a bad bad bad boy AGAIN today Nickolas. Go sit in that corner!
Nick: What the fuck is this? Mickey?
Brian: OOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOSHHHH!!!! [PRAYS AGAIN]
Kevin: My cousin prays too much.
Howard: Oh no you don't Nick. You didn't just call Mickey fuck. Fuck you!!! [ATTACKS NICK AGAIN]
Brian: [DROPS TO THE GROUND IN SPASMS] Too... much.... swearing..... brain... overload.....
[HOWARD & NICK SURFACE FOR AIR]
[NICK LOOKS CRAZY]
Nick: It's the way you make me, kinda get me go CRAZY NEVER WANNA STOP!!! [PULLS HOWARD'S HAIR AGAIN, THEY BOTH GO BACK DOWN]
Dude2: That's enough! Nick come out with me.
[NICK & DUDE2 GET OUT OF THE BALLPOOL] [HOWARD STAYS IN TALKING TO MICKEY]
Howard: Oh, it's okay Mickey. He was an evil evil man, and he's never going to hurt you again. [HOWARD STAYS IN THE BALLPOOL PLAYING WITH MICKEY]

Kevin: What fun. Anyways, let's go back to the table shall we?
Dude1: Yeah. Let's go.
[DUDE1 AND KEVIN WALK BACK TO THE TABLE WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A............. SQUIRREL!!!!!]
[UP IN THE TREE THERE IS AN EVIL SQUIRREL IN A BLACK MASK AND HOLDING BINOCULARS. IT IS WHISPERING TO ITSELF..... WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE SQUIRRELS APPEAR!!!]
Dude1: DDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUDDDDEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! KEVYP SAAAVEEEE MEEEEE!!!!!!!
Kevin: GASPED ME!!! IS THAT A SQUIRREL I SEE?! NEVER FEAR! KEVYP IS HERE!!! [WHIPS OUT A PENGUIN STUFFED ANIMAL WITH A GOLD CHAIN] PENGUIN POWER!!!! [KEVIN TRANSFORMS INTO A LITTLE PENGUIN WITH TRENCHCOAT, SUNGLASSES, AND BSP TATTOOED ON IT'S CHEST]
Dude1: Ooooooooo KEVYP!!!
[KEVYP WALKS UP TO THE SQUIRRELS AND STARTS SINGING "DONT WANT YOU BACK CUZ YOU'RE NO GOOD FOR DUDE OOOO NOOOOOOoooo... THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY DONT WANT YOU BACK FORGIVE MY HONESTY BUT YOU GOTTA GO IIiiIIIIIIiiiIII DONT WANT YOU BACK"]
[SOME OF THE SQUIRRELS FADE AWAY]
KevyP: Okay, It's time for THE song! [STARTS SINGING "GET DOWN GET DOWN FROM THE TREE GET DOWN GET DOWN DONT SCARE DUDE FOR ME, OH SQUIRRELY YOU'RE SO FINE IM GONNA MAKE YOU MINE YOUR MEAT IT TASTES SO SWEEEETTT YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME YOU'RE MY DELICATESY, YOU'RE THE SQUIRREL PIE THAT I NEEEEEEDDD!!!!!"]
[THE SQUIRRELS ARE SO FRIGHTENED BY THAT SONG THAT ALL OF THEM RUN AWAY]
Dude1: OOOOOOOOOOOOOh KEVYP!!! You're my HERO!!!!!!!
Kevin: BACKSTREET POWER!!!! [MORPHS BACK INTO KEVIN THE BACKSTREETER] Oh, it was nothing for my soulmate!
Dude1: OOOOOOOO KEVYP!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE. [JUMPS INTO HIS ARMS AND POKES HIS CHEST]
Kevin: What's that all about?
Dude1: Oh nothing, it's just chiseled that's all. *POKE* *POKE*
Kevin: *SHRUG* Okay. Poke away.
Dude1: [DUDE1 IS HAVING A LOT OF FUN BEING IN KEVIN'S ARMS AND POKING AT HIS CHEST... WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN.....]

Dude2: NICKOLAS GENE CARTER YOU COME BACK HERE!!! [DUDE2 IS HOLDING THE CUP OF ICE DUDE1 AND KEVIN GOT AND THROWING IT AT NICK, NICK IS RUNNING AROUND DUCKING.]
Nick: NooOOOoOOOoOOoo
Dude2: [THROWS ICE ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF NICK AND HE STARTS TO SLIP] Hhahaha! [THROWS MORE ICE AT NICK AS HE STARTS TO STUMBLE AND ALMOST FALL. NICK IS RUNNING IN PLACE AND HE CAN'T GO ANYWHERE, HE KEEPS ON SLIPPING]
Nick: Ahhhhhh I can't run away!!
Dude2: [RUNS UP AND TAGS HIM] TAG! You're it!!!
Nick: NooOOoOOoOOO I don't wanna be it! Make Howard Dwaine Dorough be it!
Howard: NooOOo I don't wanna be it either! C'mon Mickey, let's run!
Nick: Oh no you don't! Come back here! [NICK CHASES HOWARD AND DUDE2 AROUND THE PLAYGROUND, BUT HE CAN'T CATCH THEM, HE KEEPS ON RUNNING IN CIRCLES UNTIL HE GROWS DIZZY AND FALLS TO THE GROUND]
Dude2: Dude, do you need SBF again? I won't mind.
Nick: No, no, that's okay, just lie on the floor with me and stare at the netted ceiling and feel the ants crawl on your face.
Dude2: Okay, sure. [LIES DOWN ON GROUND WITH NICK]
Dude1: Hey Kevin, let's do that too.
Kevin: Okay.
[DUDE1 & KEVIN LIE DOWN TO STARE @ THE NETTED CEILING TOGETHER]
Howard: Hey, we should do that too. [HOWARD AND MICKEY LIE ON THE GROUND TOGETHER]
[BRIAN & AJ ARE STUCK BY THEMSELVES AND DECIDE TO GO TO LONGS TO FIND SOME HAIR DYE FOR AJ AND ANOTHER CROSS FOR BRIAN]

::and that's a day at mcdonalds with the backstreet boys::

[el fin]

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