manda . r a i

[[EXTRAORDINARY]] PAGE TWO

Sandra splashed her face with ice cold water, hoping to wash away the signs of crying. I wish I could also wash away all signs of myself, Sandra thought. No Sandra, don't think that way. But I AM! I Am! I am this way! I can't change it, and I hate myself for it! I hate, I hate you hear me? I hate myself. Sandra looked up at her reflection in the mirror. A pair of wildly dark angry eyes looked back at her. Her brown saggy hair hung savagely around her small thin face. She was stunned by her appearance. This isn't me. It isn't... No it isn't Sandra. No it isn't. Don't do this. You're Sandra. Fix yourself. Be Sandra. Be Sandra. But I don't want to be Sandra!! I don't want to be Sandra! No! Never! I don't want to be Sandra!! Sandra splashed her face with even more cold water in anger. The water hit her face like tiny droplets of ice, stinging her cheeks, her nose, her chin. It went inside her eyes and stung her eyeballs, making it hard to cry. She splashed water on her face harder and harder and harder and harder... Stop it Sandra! Stop it! That's enough! Sandra felt her skin tingling from the ice cold water, her skin had a pink hue. She looked up at herself and began to laugh. She laughed wildly at herself. She looked at her scarlet face, her stringy damp brown hair, her red eyes, and began to laugh. Sandra, what's the matter? Why are you laughing? Why? It's not funny Sandra, don't laugh at yourself. Don't! Why not? Look, look at me! I'm so ugly! I'm so plain! Look at my face! Just look! It's hilarious! Sandra, don't do this. Sandra spun around the bathroom, laughing like an insane person. Maybe I am insane, Sandra thought. Maybe I am! Maybe I am!! What will I do? What crazy thing will I do?

BBBBBBBBRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG... the sharp sound of the bell broke her thoughts. Sandra suddenly snapped back to reality. What the hell am I doing? She quickly patted her hair, trying to make it look presentable, and not like a madwoman's. She straightened her shirt, arranged her glasses, and picked up her backpack. Good Sandra. Nothing happened here. Nothing. You are Sandra again. Good. Now go to class Sandra, go to class.

Sandra crept hastily down the hall toward her locker. Hurry Sandra, get your lunch, then you can go to your spot where no one can bother you. Hurry, you don't want Rachel to come again do you? Sandra turned her locker dial... 22-11-33. She pulled out her lunch bag and stuffed it into her backpack. Good Sandra, Rachel's not coming right now, hurry Sandra, hurry. Sandra rushed out the double doors leading to the lunch yard. This was the part she dreaded the most. She had to go past a whole field of kids to get to the most isolated part of the field, where she ate lunch by herself. She briskly walked around a group of guys shouting and laughing. They're not laughing at you Sandra, they're not, don't worry, keep on going. She kept her head down, pulling her jacket tighter around her, her hand gripped her lunch bag tightly. Go Sandra go, hurry, you can sense Rachel. She's coming Sandra, faster! Her pace quickened as she tried to evade Rachel. But it was to no avail.

"Hey Mouse, you throw away that trash for me?" Rachel's voice called across the field.

Sandra almost visibly shuddered. No...why? Why now? No... can't you leave me alone Rachel? Can't you LEAVE ME ALONE?! Sandra could feel tears starting to form again. Why are you crying Sandra? Why are you crying? Don't cry Sandra. Don't cry, Rachel will enjoy that. But I can't help it! I need to cry!
"Eh! Mouse! Didn't you hear me? I said, 'did you throw away that trash for me'?!"
Sandra froze. Her hand grasped the paper lunch bag so hard she could feel that paper starting to rip. No Sandra, don't do anything stupid. Don't let Rachel see you're afraid of her. She already knows that! She already knows! That's why she's coming after me! It's no use! Ok then Sandra, turn around. Turn around Sandra, and face her. Face Rachel and tell her you did throw away her trash for her. Sandra took a deep breath, however it came in as tiny gasps. She turned around gingerly, and almost fainted. No! No! Why? Why all of them? Why?!

Rachel stood with her group of friends, and she had many friends. More friends than Sandra ever had in her whole life. "So Mouse, where do you think you're going? And you still haven't answered my question." Rachel and her group of friends approached, obviously enjoying Sandra's fear.

"Yes, Rachel... yes, I did throw away your trash for you." Sandra could not bring her eyes to meet Rachel's. She studied her shoes. Go away, go away Rachel. I don't want to talk to you. Go away Rachel, please go away.

"Hey," Rachel laughed, "I see she does take orders!" Her group of friends laughed obediently.

Sandra could feel her face starting to get hot. Please go away Rachel, please. All I want to do is eat my lunch. I want to eat my lunch. Please go away Rachel. Go away.

"Eh Mouse, do you want to throw away some more trash for me?" Rachel looked around her group of friends and winked. Sandra didn't like the look of this. They all edged closer to Sandra. Sandra tried to step back, but she found that a few of Rachel's friends had gone behind her too, forming a circle. Sandra was trapped again. Please God, make Rachel go away! Make her go away! Sandra was trembling in fear.

"Awww.. how sad! Lookit the poor wittle Mousie tremble! Poor poor widdle Mousie!" Rachel said in a baby voice. "Are ya scared Mouse? Are ya scared?" Rachel taunted. "You scared of me Mouse? You scared?" Rachel lunged forward. Sandra screamed. Rachel reached for Sandra's lunch. Sandra heard the distinct sound of the paper ripping. No... No God, no! I want my lunch! No!

Sandra could hear a roar of laughter start up around the circle. She felt fat drops of tears rolling down her cheeks, leaving warm wet streaks. She tasted their saltiness in her mouth. I want to die! I want to get away! Get me away! Sandra crumpled to the grass, her hands covering her face. The laughter grew louder and louder and louder and louder. It was a defying thunder in her ears. It echoed inside her head. She heard Rachel's voice come through.

"Awww...... lookit the poor widdle Mouse! Poor Mousie, she don't got any lunch! You want an apple Mouse? You want?" Rachel tossed a bright red apple at Sandra's head.

Sandra felt the apple bounce off her head, causing another great wave of laughter around the circle. By now she could feel plenty more people joining the circle, to see what was going on. Make them go away God, make them go away! Why won't they go away? Why!? Her tears were coming in great puddles. Her whole body racked with pain as she tried to draw in air. Her breath came in shallow gasps.

"Please go away Rachel, please go away," Sandra whispered, "Please go Rachel..." But no one heard her. Sandra could feel fingers pointing at her, she could feel everyone's sides aching with laughter as they all laughed at her. At her.

Go away Rachel.. go away Rachel.. go away.. go away.. go away Rachel.. go away... go away.. GO Rachel.. GO! Go AWAY! Go away. Go away Rachel NOW. Sandra felt her tears start to subside, she felt her breath coming in more even.
"Is Mousie feeling better? Feeling better Mousie? Aww... poor widdle Mouse!" Rachel said in her baby voice again. "Yo want some more food Mouse? Want more?" Rachel threw an orange and a banana at Sandra's head.

Sandra felt them bounce off her head, and felt herself get irritated. They have no right to that. They can't do this to me. No they can't. Do you hear me Rachel, you can't do this to me.

Good Sandra, don't let them do this to you. Fight back Sandra, fight back. Stand up for yourself Sandra, stand up. Be brave Sandra.

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