� �Gay and Lesbian Flute Alliance?� - Terry and Katie
� �The guy behind Terry is licking his arm.� � Sara
� �I�m sitting here watching you all eat and the words �techno pop� keep going through my head.� � Jan
� �I NEED A PEN!� � Jan
� �Screw the driver.� � Sara
� Katie�s �mushy� Crystal Geyser water and Rep. named Linda
� �I don�t like being seduced by people who don�t . . .You know . . .� � Magic Bob
� �Oh, his wives!� � Jan
� �CELIBACY RULES!� � Jan
� �I love getting into guys� pants.� � Jan
� �Fix your fucking door!� � Sara
� �I love my little honey . . .� � Random guy singing
� �Yo white girls! Yo white girls!� Random �Type G� guys in car
� �Yeah, heh, heh, heh.� Random �Type A� guys in jeep
� Sara�s Maryland ID
� Andressa�s views on African American history
� �I have not had one thing in my mouth all day.� � Jan
�Slow day.� � Sara
� �If I was a girl, I�d be a lesbian.� � Bob
� �I beat you BECAUSE I love you.� � Sara
� �I tried calling you, baby, but you didn�t hear me.� � Dinner cashier to forgetful Jan
� �I�s about to say, dat�s messed up.� � Salt Boy
� �If you had my hands on your body.� � Jan to Terry
� �Is anyone else thinking of �Speed�? . . .We just watched the movie.� � Jan
�Oh, okay, I was like, oh, they do drugs.� � Elevator Girl
� �Shit! Move to a table! Move to a table!� � Jan
� �Jumpin� Joe?� � Terry
� �I don�t see where an occasional �fuck� would hurt anyone.� � Jan, referring to the word not the action
� �He�s a scrub!��Jeanie about Adam
� �Let me go to Schlong.com.� Bobby
� �That angle just won�t work.� Terry
�Yeah, you�d think that. I can make anything fit.� Bobby
� �Yo, I heard you fucking last night.��Kim
� �My thing came out.��Bobby
� �Can I help you with something? Do you want to take me behind a bush and make a woman out of me?��Jan
� �Excuse me, sir, but I think you�re trash.��Terry to �Feel himself� Boy
� �Wow, you one piece of ugly dude.��Bobby
� �You know what I noticed? When I rub it, some of the balls fall down.��Kei
� �Is that all he said?��Jan
�Yeah, cause then he started talking like a black woman and I told him to stop.��Sara
� �Fat guy on a little bike.��Pranav about Ben
� �I gotta pee, cause, if I secrete water out one part, it�ll come out the other.��Kei
� �Jan, you were fucking drunk.��Wayne (another variation: �You were drunk as shit.�)
� �Wow, maybe your liver�s a friggin� rock.��Wayne
� �My mom would be mad if I got those.��Wayne
�Why, because you and your mom share underwear?��Jan
� SPLASHBACK--->All Wayne�
� �Clothing time���Jan, singing
� �Seriously, I could not have hand picked three uglier women!��Pranav
� �Can I take this out of my pants now?��Jan, about the egg roll
� �Yeah, but I�d rather bang his roommate.��Jan about Pranav and Jason
� �WHERE THE HELL IS MY COW??��Katie
� �They sold my underwear.��Wayne
� �Jan, what are you doing?��Sara
�TOMMY!��Jan
� �I am a stuffed shell.��Alex
� �I�ve BEEN in the know.��Pranav
� �Jan, could we use this energy for, say, figuring out the interest rate for 1991?��Pranav
� �It�s almost, like, a sphere.��Bobby, about his friend Jason�s rotund cat
� �I have approximately one-point-eight liters of Faygo.��Bobby
� �I did not know this when I was little, but I went to preschool in a converted 7-11.��Pranav
� �I am home grown Indian.��Pranav
� �Yeah, so you think we�ll go metric?��Alex
� �That was �drawer� for �fuck you�.��Sara
� �Hey, it�s raining out.�
�Oh yeah?�
�Let�s go to K-Mart.��Sara
� �Hey baby, call me. The number�s 4-JACKLENAB.��Jason and Pranav
� �The only nickname I�ve ever had that stuck was Pranav the Learned.��Pranav
� �Wasn�t Mary a virgin? Look at the statue kid!��Pranav
� �It�s like I have my own stenographer.��Pranav about Jan
� �You say potato, I say Idaho.��Pranav
� �Gunny?��Pranav about Sara�s last name
� FUNNY TYPO: �(Surprise, surpise)��Sara
� �Oh God, that guy�s three days older than Christ!��Asshole at Midnight Madness
� �Let�s hear it for Bea Arthur!��Asshole at Midnight Madness
� �You mean the guy in tights molesting the seven year old?��Pranav
� �THAT KID IS NEVER GONNA HAVE KIDS!��Pranav
� �I have never seen such blatant molestation in public.��Pranav
� �I wanna be a mascot.�
�An eeeeeeeeee-vil mascot?��Justin
� �Jeanie doesn�t like blueberries.��Jeanie
� �Being domestic doesn�t work.��Alex�s tip for Jan
� �You�re sister�s gotten more play from a random Turkish guy than I have my whole life!��Jan
� �She spoke a mile a minute and not one word was intelligent.��Pranav
� �I could make a TV show out of it �Pranav the Heterosexual Designer�!��Pranav
� �Well, I�m well on my way to Harvard Law School.��Pranav
� �You fuckin� killed him you piece of shit!��Justin
� *SIREN*
�ABANDON SHIP! ABANDON SHIP!��Justin
� �I have a gimp rib, I think.��Lacey
� �He�s got a sectional.��Pranav
�He�s a homosexual, did you hear that?��Alex about Jason
� �What the hell is going on??��Kei, October 19, 1999, 11:16pm
� �I have this oral fixation, I HAVE to have something in my mouth.��Jan, referring to GUM
�That�ll get you a lot of guys.��Psych Jay
� �I could have done that better. Of course, it probably would have involved body make-up.��Terry
� �And also, being bi helps. It doubles your chances.��Alex
� �My shoe could act better than she does!��Jan about Heather Graham
�Does your shoe have large breasts? I don�t think so!��Ben
� �Strip Editing� October 27, 1999---> Jan, Jason, Pranav and Sara
� �Get bent, lesbo.��Alex
� �Is that some kind of bonding thing?��Alex
� �Look I caught a trout�there goes my shirt.��Alex
� �I not only knew about it���Jan
�She was doing it!��Kei
� �I dressed up as an Arab�my brother had the costume.��Alex
� �You break for a squirrel? OH GOD!��Justin
� �Do you have any animals?��Sara
�RUFF!��Justin
� �Hey is it cold in here? Sara�ll tell you���Justin
� �Hey hey you were drunk?��Kei to Sara
� �What are you, Christopher fucking Columbus?��Sara
� �Who says I was looking at your freakin� breasts!��Justin
� �Haven�t you ever seen Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin?��Sara
�Charlie Brown raped what?��Justin
� �This is the part where I park the car and kill you both.��Justin
�In the woods of Maryland? IT�S BEEN DONE.��Jan
� �Unless he�s Buttcrack or Coolstud.��Sara
� �What was the other one, Cooltits or something?��Sara
� �Who�s that virgin over there? Not Jan, not Jan!��Jason
� �Yeah, he threw me behind a bush at the buffet.��Jan
� �What did you say? The Lesbian Broadcasting Company?��Sara
� �IT�S KERROPI!��Jan
�Easy there���Justin
� �Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.��Nik
�You just said my four favorite words in the English language.��Jan
�I did not say �cock� four times over.��Nik
� �You need to get laid.��Nik to Terry
� �How big are your hands?��Jan
�Big enough to satisfy myself.��Nik
� �That�s like a black version of my Grandmother.��Rebecca
� �She�s gonna have to be given liquids through, like, an intravenous tube!��Terry
� �I told Justin to stop giving it to her, so she started getting it from Handy Andy.��Jan
� �Sara knows what I�m trying to do. I don�t have big enough fingers to do it.��Terry
� �I do not want you jerking off in my room!��Lacey to Nik
� �YES I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU!��Jan to Nik
� �I SAW NIK�S ASS!��Jan
� �Do you want me to grab your ass so hard you won�t be able to sit down for a week?��Nik
�No. Well, would I have to get one of those doughnut things?��Sara
� �How about, while we walk by you smack my ass like normal? But I will NOT stand there and have you repeatedly spank me in front of the camera!��Jan
� �Terry the Nutsack Murderer.��Nik
� �Listen John Lithgow���Jan
�Go back to your Third Rock���Pranav
� �We were singing it the day she was teaching me to pirouette.��Pranav
� �He�d better come out of this, he�s just not hot when he�s lying in bed.��Jan about David Duchovney
� �Can I talk on your walkie-talkie?��Jan to police
� �Listen Bastard, I�m going to rip your lips off and eat them.��Jan
� �If I am ever on a plane, and I hear �Hello passengers, this is Sara, your captain.� I�m jumping out the emergency exit. I don�t care if there�s a parachute or not!��Jan
� �Why am I the only person here when you act like this?��Sara
�You�re boning what?��Jan
� �If it said sex, would you do it?��Jan
�It depends.��Sara
�Oh man, this is a tough one, I might have to use my calculator.��Jan
� �Do you know? Yes or no? Yorn?��Jan
� �I said merove! I must have lyxdexia!��Jan
� �You were yelling up your own ass? Cause you�re flexible and you can bend in a way that acoustically allows you to shout up your own ass.��Jan
� �What time is it?��Jan
�11:30.��Sara
�Time to make the doughnuts.��Jan
� �I�m scared.��Sara
�What, does she have a knife?��Justin
� �Justin said I�ll never be normal.��Jan
�Yeah, well tell Justin he�ll never get laid.��Sara
� �Damn it Pranav! I have big plans for you, just let me live!��Jason
� �Shit! You bitch!��Jason
�THE most amazing shot in banana bomb history!��Pranav
� �Whose sock is this?��Jeanie
�Mine.��Jan
�It�s a pancake!��Jeanie
<Picks up another sock>
�Another pancake?��Kei
�No, this one�s French toast.��Jeanie
� �It�s green. I think they�re going to figure it out.��Sara
� �It�s kind of like alcoholism. It�s when you start playing alone���Pranav about Worms
� �For last night?��Jan
�I�ll break change for ya.��Pranav
� �You know, my shoes talk to me when I walk.��Jeanie
� �Dude, you are THE worst ninja repeller I�ve ever seen.��Pranav to Jason
� �Can you move so I can impose on their couch?��Jan
<Cue look from Pranav>
�I didn�t not say �pose�, I said �impose�.��Jan
�Damn!��Pranav
�EX-pose, what?��Veris
� �I�m slicker than a dick in butter.��Jan
� �What�s my song?��Jan
�I don�t know, �I Touch Myself�?��Sara
� �Seriously, we would have a beautiful life together.��Jan about Luigi
� �I thought that was Tom Green.��Jan
� �No one loves you! No one!��Justin
� �Jeffery Dahlmer gave new meaning to the term �eating out�.��Jan
� �Virginia, you have to go get your hot chocolate out of the bathroom.��Jan
� �I ain�t licking this. I don�t know what kind of ugly meter maid gave it to me.��Pranav
� �You thought I was drawing breasts.��John
� �One in six people in the world is Indian. We must be doing something right.��Pranav
� �He is home grown Indian ladies. I�d harvest him anytime.��Jan
� �THE PERSON YOU ARE ATTACKING IS PRANAV SAHA!��Pranav
� �Diving into a bar of solid milk chocolate?��Jan
�D�oh! Sweet Mother!��Pranav
� �What movie���Jan
�Naked Gun 33 1/3.��Pranav
� �There was this old lady who wouldn�t let us play from 2-4�she threw jars at us.��Nik
� �Denton 6, we may have your shoes: Inquire within.��Pranav
� �My goal in life is to be put into a mental institution because they think I�m crazy.��Alex
� �My goal in life is to dress up as a clown and make people happy.��Alex
� �I just drooled on myself!��Kei
� �I just had the urge to yell out �Funky butt lovin!� I don�t know why, there�s no one here to hear me.��Lisa
� �You think I�m playing, I go to bed at night and I see something wiggling in the tree. Sure I get up and it�s a squirrel, but���Adam
� �You see that �M� up there? That�s where we�re eating!��Pranav
� �Excuse me, do you take Terrapin Express?��Pranav
� �Watch there be a guy on the side of the road with a little stand and a sign that says �Mongolian Grill�.��Mike
� �Watch in real life that old lady�s like �I WANT THAT PART! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!� then she�s like, �Ohh����Alex
� �Ga ga goo goo gi gi go!��Alex
� �Seriously, if I wasn�t a virgin coming to college, I would have already banged half the guys at this table.��Jan
� �It�s like a bunch of monkeys trying to milk a cow.��Pranav
� �You know who has, like, no hair?��Jan
�Kristi Layda?��Sara
<Cue gagging sound as Jan makes public mockery of herself>
� �Yellow runch buggy runch runch.��Sara
� �Dairy Queen shut down.��Sara
� �Apparently Uncle Phil needed to use the restroom.��Sara
� �Did you see the woman who went in there? Possibly the scariest woman ever. I was like the Blair Witch came to life!��Sara
� �Jesus Christ! Stupid���Random old man
� The lady trapped in the bus bathroom
� �Note that I am sitting up eating these so the crumbs don�t go down my shirt.��Sara
�Yeah, a lot of things go down your shirt when you�re lying down.��Jan
� �Rockin� around the Christmas tree�na na-na na na���Lisa
� �I hated the smell, but I always liked playing with it.��Lisa
� �She�s kissing the mouse pad.��Bud
� �But he�s four�he won�t know how to work that.��Carrie to herself
� �I hate the word fluid.��Jan
� �If you vote for me, I promise to give all the ladies some play�and maybe the two cute guys in the corner.��Pranav
� �Wanna drop out of college and form a rock band?��Sara
�Well, if we combine our talents we could possibly set up an amp.��Jan
� �Rod Stewart is one step above a toilet brush.��Jan
� Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford, Spanky McClaine, Dion Reginald Wallace
� �Uh, Jay?��Pranav
�SHUT THE HELL UP!��Jason
� �Pla sa chuchage.��Jan�s stupid blunder
� �We prohibit smoking and the use of non prescription drugs.��Mr. Bus driver
� �I don�t know. I don�t know where you�d go to get socks in a bag.��Lacey
� �Is he going to play with the cow in the bathroom?��Jan
� �It doesn�t make sense. Only gay guys find me attractive.��Alex
� �Hey hey we�re the Beatles.��Jason
� �The monkey on the bus goes spank, spank, spank.��Jason
� �Bobbitt, Bobbitt.��Alex
� �What is this, Puff and Blow Barbie?��Jason
� �Jan flocks to cock.��Jason
� �Jan is to cock as Jason is to boy bands.��Jan, Jason, Sara
� �Oh how I wish to be that chair riding between Jan�s legs.��Jason
� �www.whatthehellisthisanadvertismentforawebsite.com�--Jason
� �Janny almost spit her lolly.��Sara
� �Private happy time.��Jason
� �That�s the same day I swear my doll blew out my candles.��Jan
� �Carrot top, what?��Sara
�I hate that man!��Jan
� �I�m just picturing right now, the fact that he looks like M.R.��Jan
� �I just drank my soda.��Sara
�Backwash city: population Sara.��Jan
� �Someday you�re really gonna choke, and I�m gonna laugh.��Sara
�It�s like the boy who cried <<phlegm>>.��Jan
� �My cat can�t stand up.��Sara
�Yeah, well, my dog is blind.��Jan
� Lunch: December 4th 1999�Sara and Jan
� �So if a rooster said �Blank-a-doodle-doo� you�d be okay with it?��Jason
� �He wants you to stalk him.��Sara, to the tune of �I want you to want me�
� �There�s a fungus among us.��Sara
� �I accidentally typed �sexcuse�.��Kei
� �My mom is the coolest woman. Sure, she�s an old bat, but she�s cool.��Alex
� �Please allow Pranav to take the book home for the summer so that he may continue to study.��Pranav, as his mother.
� �You�d be all over that like natural yeast!��Jan
� �These aren�t barbecue! They�re radioactive orange!��Jan
� �Better than getting a paper cut on your nuts, cause that would really hurt.��Jan
� �Can you imagine ass on a spear and dipping it into cheese?��Jan
� Pull up guy on Metro�
� �Episode Four: How Retardo Opens a Soda.��Jan to Sara
� �For, like, the Millenium.��Sara
� �Waiting for Christmas?��Jan
�Yeah, slow Christmas Tiffany!��Kei
� �Let�s all make fun of our ethnicity!��Alex
� �Alex, would you watch where you�re squatting?!��Frank
� �Grandma knows best!��Jan, in response to Y & R
� �Look! I have finally created a homosexual clipart!��Jan
� �Computa, you know jack shit about computa.��Jan
� �Peace! Not peace, homosexuals!��Jan
� Conducting final paper and then going into Victory�Jan
� �He becomes Wayne Shuga living in a shack in Chattanooga. Wayne Shuga from Chattanooga.��Jan about Jason
� �Coincidentally, Brontosaurus was my favorite dinosaur.��Jan
�I always liked Tri-SARA-tops.��Sara
�I always liked Bronta-SOR-us.��Jan
� �Can you imagine Special K as a Lamaze coach? Babies, please.��Sara
�When I say �PUSH!�, you say �AHHHHHHHH!���Jan
� �Girl, we don�t need a window. Look what I got.�
�Ooooh, is that Hefty?��Jan about ghetto car
� �He�s my father!��RA John about Rod Stewart
� �Which reminds me, I owe Pranav a lap dance.��Jason
� �That car will come back with two wheels, three doors, and no trunk.��Anne about the LPDT
� �And we watch the Ape family try and dispense ketchup.��Anne
� �We-helcome to Hawaii.��Jen
�We-helcome? What are we, Jewish now? La-heim.��Anne
� �Yeah, Lance and Jan are off making Albino babies.��Lisa
� �I have a nun uniform.��Lisa
�I believe it�s called a �habit�.��Anne
� �Basically I�ll see the fat end of a Mack truck before I go home.�--Anne
� �Www.insertanythinghere.com.�---Sara
� �Just shove your hand down there and throw some at me�OH MY GOD!��Anne
� �I entertain myself�oh my!��Anne
� �Crap, I�m lame!��Anne
� �That was a �what� of piss-ed proportions!��Anne
� �Let�s hear it for Cock #1 and his sister Tittie is cheering at the side of the ring� �Go cock!� �Thank you Tittie�.��Anne
� �Please, that pen works better than you do.��Anne
� �Oh my Gentle Jesus.��Lisa
� �Good Lord!��Jan
�Don�t you mean Gentle Jesus?��Anne
� �Shake your bon bon, Mrs. Ehli.��Katie
� �Wha wha, Jason�s still in high school?��Anne
� �He looks like King Umpaloompa from the Wizard of Oz.��Anne
� �GALAPAGOS!��Katie
�That�s not as funny as you think it is.��Anne
� �Now I have that damn Christina Aguilera song in my head.��Katie
�I thought you were singing �Bringing in the sheep�.��Anne
� Settle down, there, Molly Rulebook.��Jan to Jen
� �You�ll be crapping ink for weeks.��Anne to Jan
� �I�ma pop your puppy face if you don�t shut up.��Anne
� �Hold up�the boy in the front had hockey hair.��Anne
� �Why didn�t he just pee in the electrical socket like someone did in my elementary school?��Anne
� �You better eat that or shalack it and stick it to your ass for all time.��Anne to Jan
� �How�s the slaw?��Jan
�It�s schlawesome.��Lisa
� �Who is that, Puff Dragon?��Mr. Kochanov, referring to Puff Daddy
� �I was laughing so hard I almost lit my pants on fire.��Sara
� �What happens if you put a DVD in a CD player?��Jan
�I don�t know the world ends? Y2J?��Sara
� �Is it on your hand?�
�No.�
�Oh good.�
�It�s on my ass.�
�OH GOD!��Sara and Jan about Sara�s �tatoo�
� �I just said cock and roll, but we�re gonna pretend like I didn�t.��Jan
� �This porkchop is shaped like���Jan
�Booty?��Lauren
