| Horoscopes......(xmas) I thought I'd write sum of these as a joke...... (I haven't a clue what I'm on about lol) {{back to the same old routine}} Aries 21st of March-20th April Santa doesn't like you I'm afraid, he just told me himself.. instead of that really amazing preasant you've been waiting weeks for.. you're going to get Cliff Richards greatest hits album.. that's what you wanted?! well, good for you! Taures 21st April-21st March A troop of oompa loompas are planning on coming carolling at your house tonight! joy to the world indeed Gemini 22nd May-21June The evil twin will get all your presants this year.. leaving you with half a sausage, it could taste nice thought in a bun.. I think I call it a hot dog! Cancer 22June-23 JUly an unfortunate llama comes along and bites off your tender parts, luckily it means you can persue your dreams of becoming a high pitched choir boy Leo 24th July-23rd August Santa's special friend bob wiull be delivering the presants this year, I would have told this ot the other star signs but he has a thing for leo's, just a warning Virgo 24th August-23rd September ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ahem) Libra 24th September-23rd October remember that embaressing fling you had with the elf? teehee Scorpio 24th October-22nd November Your selection box will turn up in the most suprising place of all this week, have you checked the septic tank lately? Sagittarius 23rd November-22nd December Right, for christams you will be getting, another knitted jumper off aunty joyce, a book of boring stuff off mum and dad, and an orange for grandma and grandad, I'm sooo very jealous Capricorn 23rd December-20th January my spirit guide says... hi there, she also says you didn't send her a christmas card.. shame on you Aquarius 21st January-19th Febuary it will snow and snow and snow, and Bing Crosby will move into your house, and slade and they'll all sing jolly christmas tunes all day long, and Aled Jones would have come, but his voice is actually borken, so the 'snowman' song will now sound like a pig with a sore throut, pity Pisces 20th febuary-20th March "jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle alllll the way" I shall leave you too translate that using the mystic language of the apocalypse lost from all memory in the by gone days |
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