Nafatari

Whose face is this which I seek in every face!

Whose eyes are these, which shine around me!

What strange thoughts hound me so often!

Why this arousal for nothingness!

Come my gypsy queen Nafatari ,

Let my love raise you from slumber deep.

Let’s sing a song of sensuality,

A song of passion that fume us both,

A song that breaks every chord and reed.

Let me see this bright face for ten thousand years alone ,

Come ; feel me without touch ,

Feel me like a mindless thought,

Let me put my hands in your heart

And open the window of your soul .

Lets us be one like no one ever has been ,

In togetherness, we will find what no one has ever found.

Your potion of love alone can charm me;

I will make another world for you.

I will raise thousand timeless edifice to our immortal love.

Let’s melt together and become airy clouds

Let’s fume into ethereal space,

Let’ s drown together in a tranquil sea-

Or fly to far-flung stars and become unknown.

27 September, 2002

The game

There is a strange benumbness in my mind

Like floating in the air

Or sailing on a waveless sea

I can feel the mist in my eyes.

Perhaps ,I walk in sleep

As I don’t keep ,

Numbers of days and hours that pass by.

I can feel a dart in my heart

Or I ‘m caught

In a sphinx puzzle.

I was hunter in the game to slay,

Yet I was preyed rather than to prey

2 Sep 2002

I want to seek this airy thing

I want to seek this airy thing,

My eyes are fixed on this nothingness,

And my soul aches for this nothingness,

It’s here, there, every where.

Some one whispers my name in a roar

I can’t move, I fall

I fall, I go,

And lisp the words I don’t know.

What a fierce race for survival!

What a mad pursuit for things so common!

These people are no people.

There is little life in them.

This is no place for me.

There is a city of silence behind this clamour,

I will cross the river of darkness first -

And drop my shell on the shore.

Should I mingle in a surge!

Or silently melt away in this waveless sea.

I want to seek this airy thing,

My eyes are fixed on this nothingness,

And my soul aches for this nothingness.

It’s here, there, every where.

28 October, 2002

Come to me my beloved

Come to me my beloved

Come closer in my open arms

Speak to me

I can understand the language of your spirit

Open your bosom to me

Let me hold your heart in my bare hands

Let it flutter in my hands

Many silent tears you have shed in loneliness

Countless centuries have you burnt your heart

I want to listen to song of separation

Let me hear the wail of silence

Open your soul casket

And pour your pain in my heart

I can feel the faint trepidation

I can feel wink of your piercing eyes

I even know the words you don’t speak

We have one wordless language

Speak speak my beloved

You don’t have a shape

I feel you every where

I can feel your aurora

Only if can hold it

Let our soul clasp together

Let us drown together in this cold light

Count not the numbers of days and night

Let there be another era

Another time and age

We are not the time’s slave

Let us stand in glory together

Come, drown in my eyes

And lit up my soul with your existence

Feel my faint heart

Which knows nothing but beats your name

People may explore stars and planets

We have found one world together

Which is one, for we are one?

Let us feel and explore our world

16 December 2002

The Blue Eyed Boy

There was a blue eyed boy

Who was so lone and shy

He laughed and smiled and his eyes

Perhaps wanted to weep, yet never cried.

He tamed many pets and many dolls

Which were always on roll

He had many many toys

Yet he missed just one toy.

He was often good and nice

Some times his anger would rise

Yet he ate up his heart

And pain inside he kept.

He found a doll to his mind

Who was so lovely nice and kind

But she let him down so often

He would laugh and never mind .

As canker worm grew and grew every day

He turned pale and fell sick one day

He nourished this delightful pain and reared

With care the silent sobs and tears

He loved her or perhaps he lied

And one day he died.

12/12/02

Pain

Pain has a soul in itself

It lives upon the bleakness in our soul

And creates the emptiness , we hate.

There is no healing for it,

It swells and swells and burst

Like a little nova in the dead space.

6 Feb 2003

Hope

How like a child we rear hopes out of life

They linger on and on

Until our little mind is pregnant with Wishes ,

We wish to escape.

6 Feb 2003

Do not weep nor mourn my death

There is so peacefulness in this sleep like death,

I could feel it long before I was dead.

I could see it walking from my window's pane,

Like a an old uninvited friend

Arrive in the dead of night without a ring.

Now those last rites are done,

Leave my listless body over the silent waves,

And let my journey begin.

Shut me in my coffin, leave my face open

That I may see the vacant sky with open eye.

Do not weep nor sigh ,

No one is to blame. It was I

Who wanted an escape,

To leave the torment and turmoil of life

With a smile.

You have never been mine,

Nor any one else have ever been

This land was never mine,

Nor these people could feel the life, I used to feel.

I have always been living among the dead

Let me join my people, I always longed for.

15 February, 2003

Nonsense

It always seems a game

A tug of war

A petty fight between our blind egos

Perhaps we both wish to win

Or both wish to loose

Or none of us wish to loose

It is this little nonsense

So happily we call love.

15 February, 2003

My heart is set on fire

I crave daughter of the Swan

I am infatuated by the one

Whose heart is made of stone?

O Aphrodite ravish her in desire

Make her restless

Inflame her with craving

Let her know the pangs of yearning.

31May 2003

To Hammad

My little angel, I can feel the very essence of life in you

I find pleasure in every chuckle you make.

You kiss away life in innocent pleasure

While for others it is dealt in another measure.

You are the darling of my soul

May you never know pain and suffering!

May the shadow of pain never touch you!

And you walk away life with smile and laughter.

23 July 2003

I have set no picture in mind

I have set no picture in mind

My heart is as clear as a mirror

I am looking for lady of a kind

Whose heart’s eyes are open, not blind

I can go to edge of space for her

And explore the inner space in her

Only if she is more than- mere a woman

A woman who is not made of common clay

One who relishes and prides her man.

27 July 2003

I want to weep, I want to cry

I want to weep, I want to cry

I will climb up the sky

And drop down myself without a sigh.

We live in this anti-thesis of each other

A little manhood in each of us

Never let us grow,

And our live is always a sorrow.

I could have loved you, had I been half man or a beast,

But I am neither of these,

And life of ease

For us is a dream never fulfilled?

Perhaps our love is child’s play

We both wish to win

Or none wish to loose.

There is this vacuum between us

Which keeps us apart..!

Ah: only if could break it with a blow

Or annihilate myself in this dead space.

12Dec, 2003

She said

She said

“I deem to doom you with my lure ,

If you conceal yourself in a thousand veils,

Wear the wisdom of ancients or piety of Joshep

Or nail yourself into earth like a mighty mountain

I will crumble into pieces

And turn you into unknown speck of dust and stone".

15 Dec 2003

Who are you

Who are you?

Why have you stealthy entered into the garden of my heart?

And swept off my feet

Without a reason

What aim you have?

Why bent on havoc and destruction?

I was king of my world

Who roamed from heaven to earth in a wink?

I was the master of myself,

And my ego was higher than heaven.

I could compare my self with angels and saints

You have crumbled it down into rags

And I am now lying naked in the bazaar.

Why you brought this fire of lust in disguise?

I have no power to put it off.

Nor can do I have the hunger which you crave for,

I cannot feed my self with the gapping flames.

How could I kill the soul I cherished for centuries?

You want an eternal season of plenty, you have it

I will have my own bread under my own sun.

13 Dec 2003

She said “I love you true”

My untrue mistress looked in my eyes

And sighed “I love you true.”

You have given your love to many men, I know

Where do I stand I don’t know.

She kissed me with her honeyed lips,

But I am a dismal man in funeral attire.

How can I love you with this mind?

When my heart bleeds, yet I look fine.

She clung herself to my chest

To give me more pain, and take away my rest.

“I can’t hear your beat” she sobbed.

The man who loved you is robbed

And dead. I am mere Zombie in his guise.

4 Jan 2004